Courtesy of Funny or Die, here’s the trailer for Tim Allen’s fake movie, Arbor Daze. Tim Allen plays “Douglas Furr”, a regular guy who doesn’t care about trees and has a strained relationship with his son. Then ONE DAY, he turns into a TREE. Tagline: “Real dads never leaf.” It’s a pretty successful parody, if you judge success by making me check IMDB to see if it was real.
Additional trivia: there are no less than 86 titles on IMDB that include the Days/Daze pun, including my favorite, a 1995 Hong Kong film called Mi Jian Fan, which is alternately known as “Daze Raper.”
Oh yeah, here’s the poster for Tim Allen’s next actual movie. I bet all those people are thinking, “Hey, let us in! We heard you were filming a terrible movie in here.”
[Thanks for Rob for the tip]
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I imagine Black people stay away from any kind of tree on MLK day.
I’m made of wood every morning.
I found Allen’s performance a little…..wooden.
Now somebody Horatio Caine it.
sigourney weaver and ray liotta? im sold!!
Great trailer. Now I’m pining for the movie to get made.
Tagline: “Life’s a beech.”
I bet anyone who finds this funny is a real sap.
“So Arbor Daze is one of our big summer blockbusters? A tentpole movie?”
“Yes, sir, it is the May-pole.”
It’s nice to see Tim Allen branching out.
In one particularly uproarious scene, Allen traps his son under a blanket when he farts and gives him Dutch Oven Disease.
I don’t believe it is hard to be Eva Mendes’, Megan Foxs’ nor Adriana Lima’s vibrator… now quick someone pay a kid to pray I learn my lesson.
If this were an art film, it would be called The Ardor of Arboreality.
I hope all bad actors turn into trees. Megan Fox would be a piece of ash.
Where’s Don Knotts when you really need him?
Rolling over in his grave, apparently.
Don who? Cheadle?
Cheadle? I hardly know le!
This movie wasn’t edited, it was pruned.
I pity the marketing team, they must feel like real coniferous artists.
I wouldn’t mind if my dad turned into a tree. I mean, whatever, just so long as it keeps him from sneaking into my room at night.
Don’t hate on Tim too much. Movies like this have become his maple.
The focus groups recommended more nut shots to get mollasis in the seats.
This movie will make Tim more poplar.
Same thing happened to me as a kid. Whenever dad got drunk he would turn into a raging ash pole.
I can’t wait to see this…..KNOT!
So your dad(s) always had wood around you?
The sequel will star Kate Winslet and be titled “Fur Trees”.
[zooms past in T-16, bull's eyes Whomprat]
If tree dad won’t let you borrow the car, you just menace him with a chainsaw.
That’s impossible, even for a computer!
So this is what happens if you take Viagra, get an erection that lasts longer than 4 hours and you don’t call your doctor.
Miracle-gro: The OTHER blue medicine that makes you stand tall and hard.
I would have had that reference if it weren’t for you meddling Crapbaskets!
Tim’s wife has a real stick up her ass.
After this happened, he just couldn’t bring himself to watch Ax Men anymore.
I wish Blockbuster would start clearcutting their Tim Allen selection.
With all the deep-rooted Daddy issues, this would be the perfect movie to take a stripper on a date to see.
Tim is over the hill and is having an old growth crisis.
He hates it when squirrels tug at his nuts.
[digs in joke chest]
I know there’s a nut rag joke in her somewhere…
Ya, my joke chest is a girl, I named her Beatrix.
I wish my dad’s name was Douglas Furr but he turned into a mink coat.
I saw a rough cut of this movie, and after a bit of work it looked quite good when finished.
Haha! I love the part where he gets kicked in the pine nuts.
His wife hates how he keeps needling her about arbor sex.
*Tim Allen furiously jerks off. Sweat pours from his brow and he grunts loudly. He finally achieves climax and his load trickles weakly from the end of his dick. He turns to his horrified son*
[dismissively] Yeah, the nut don’t fall too far from the tree, boy.
Tree-Tim knew he would marry his wife from the moment he cedar.
This movie was directed by rEd Wood.
This movie has more Weeping Willows than an April Fools Day prank where Joss Whedon claims he’s remaking Buffy.
Post-tree-ification you know that wife ain’t givin’ him any; that’s why he’s a palm tree.
Fir-st!
Messican trees love to dance to balsa music.
Douglas Furr’s stoner neighbor is named Matthew Mahogany.
Every Sunday Douglas takes the family to birch.
Tim was upset about the Buffy remake to but couldn’t stand all the blubbering and said, “Stop beinng a pussy Willow!”
The family was happy with the work Douglas did around the house, he really spruced the place up.
Douglas went for a trim but the guy went a little crazy and really truncated him.
Douglas’ wife was not amused by his new pet name for his member, “Hickory dickery cock.”
Now Douglas acts all Holly-er than thou.
Douglas drank too much and got really sycamore.
[Crappy produces large canvas sack. Unzips said sack and steps into it. After pulling bag over his head he zips it closed and the bag falls, seemingly empty, to the floor]
Tim is one tree John James Audubon wouldn’t mind hacking down.
Tim became lignified/
far after/
he became less dignified
If this faux movie were a tree, it’d be a Suckquoia.
We wish Tim Allen would have worked with us Michigan Movie Makers on the ORIGINAL Arbor Daze.. or at least told us he was gonna steal our title and maybe taken us out for dinner or something… instead of just grabbing our stuff and running! Typical! :)
The ORIGINAL Arbor Daze can be found here: http://www.arbordazemovie.com
Shot in 2001, back when Tim Allen was between Santa Clauses
Is anybody else still alive this morning? Whiskey Tango Foxtrot?
where the hell is everyone?
Jinx! New up also. Weird huh?
maybe one day he’ll turn into someone who makes good films?