(“No please, I don’t want to direct Saw 12, just kill me!”)

Ah, so this is funny.  So last week, Paramount hired Saw VI director Kevin Greutert to direct Paranormal Activity 2, which they planned to open against Saw 3D (Saw VII).  Only now, Lionsgate has exercised a contractual option, essentially forcing an unwilling Greutert to direct Saw 3D. Clearly, they’re fighting over him because Greutert is such a singular auteur, and only someone with his pedigree could helm an ambitious think-piece like Saw 3D, right?

Greutert was hired just 2 weeks before shooting will begin, which doesn’t leave a lot of prep time. But the goal was to block Paramount. Meanwhile Twisted Pictures bumped previously announced Saw 3D director David Hackl, who directed Saw V and who will be assigned another film quickly. [DeadlineHollywood]

Obviously, this is the kind of cinematic rivalry that can only serve to create higher quality art, a higher tide that raises all boats and torture-porn-filled container ships.  It’s all part of Saw‘s new slogan, Saw: we make movies the way Pakistani kids make soccer balls.

saw-POLANSKI

(“YES, FORCE HIM TO DO IT. THIS IS WHAT PAPA LIKES.”)