(“And one more chili dog for the road, please.”)
I’ll be honest, I thought making a movie out of the MacGruber sketches was a colossally stupid idea at first. But let one of the Lonely Island guys direct, throw in fat Val Kilmer as a villain named “Dieter von Cunth”, and make it a hard-R rating, suddenly I’m cautiously optimistic. I also love Kristen Wiig whenever she’s not playing Gilly or the Target lady. I guess what I’m saying is that the MacGruber movie is like an adorable puppy with a bow on it. I’m ready to let it into my heart, but if it can’t be potty trained, I’m selling it to the Vietnamese restaurant. …What? What’d I say? Was it the puppy thing?
I’ll post an embed as soon as it’s up, but for now you have to watch the trailer here. Update: Including the Trailer Addict version after the jump.
Cautious optimism is kind of like walking around your apartment with a boner. You’re hoping you’ll get to use it, but until then, any sudden movement will make you flinch like a mother.
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Awesome! A fat guy is a villain called Dieter. Is his lady Jenny Craig?
I think of it more as an adorable puppy with a crossbow trained on it. It’s cute for a second, until you realize that any second, some asshole’s going to pull the trigger and fire a bolt directly into that cute little sucker’s heart.
Does Kilmer also host a talk show called ‘Sprockets’ where he asks guests to touch his monkey?
Jeez, don’t try watching that trailer if you live in a van.
Val Kilmer is wearing a fat suit – a suit for fat people.
I guess I should have said that all of Val Kilmer’s suits are fat suits.
That didnt look as bad as I expected. It could be the tits.
The embed version has been here for like three days: http://tinyurl.com/yknmcok
“Die”? “Why no Mr. Bond, Dieter expects you to diet by drinking two shakes and then having a sensible dinner”.
you kin nargle my cok, Burnsey. that’s just cruel.
I tells ya, just doesn’t feel like an Iceman post without Chodinski here…*sigh*
There is a version on YouTube right now… BUT FOR HOW LONG?!?!
I have complete faith that I will have to force my wife to watch this DVD when it comes out in three months.
Don’t be so hard on Val Kilmer, the camera adds 10 pounds to his chin
Since when has your mother ever flinched at a boner?
*RED ALERT! RED ALERT!*
*incoming transmission*
Qovlpath the HaDiBahs! Massive radiation spike from the Gamma Squad-rant…that was a burn, boPa!
*end transmission*
I prefer to remember Val when he was hot, 150 years ago.
By years I mean pounds.
Whoa, Kilmer kinda looks like if they found Mr. perfect bloated in a dumpster!
I used pounds instead of kilograms so as to not confuse the slack-jawed bumblef*cks.
Cautious optimism is when Val Kilmer walks into an all-you-can-eat buffet and hopes he doesn’t get escorted out
So Al how many kilograms is that exactly?
Kilograms would be more accurate in this case.
Al-The well-groomed, literate, hogfaced, cornholing Hawkeye Football enthusiasts appreciate the conversion. However, He still has no fucking clue why any even moderately educated society would NOT use the metric system, but then again He lives in a country where there are still many people that need convincing that evolution has occurred, humans have contributed to climate change, the Holocaust actually happened…
Beck, people aimlessly wander into my office with questions like that ALL THE TIME. I usually set them on fire. You’d think they’d cut it the fuck out.
Al, they asked for a liter of cola?
Since when has your mother ever flinched at a boner?
Probably not since the last time Val Kilmer flinched at a burger.
Neat. They found a way to turn a 30 second skit into a 90 minute film. Based on that, couldn’t they make a Mark Wahlberg Talks to Animals Trilogy? I can see the shocking ending now…
Mark approaches Sarah Jessica Parker and asks her to say hi to her mother for him. She replies, “Ok.” He stumbles around the room confused and scared that an animal actually responded and falls over dead.
Fade to black.
I just watched the trailer, thought I recognized one of the people in it, checked IMDB, and sure enough….I am personally acquainted with MacGruber’s Railroad Guard #1 (uncredited)
/serious
I was looking forward to red band trailer hoping to see Val’s fat dick, I was disappointed.