This video is billed as “the darker side of Siskel & Ebert”, and purports to show their secret, contentious relationship — as you’d expect from any short fat guy/tall skinny guy relationship. But the majority of it is Ebert making catty comments when Siskel (who died in ’99) flubs a line, followed by Siskel trying to slur out a fat joke in response. Siskel actually seems drunk during a lot of these. Between that and him giving Ebert crap for giving Full Metal Jacket a thumbs down (!!!), I think me and him could’ve hung out.
Anyway, they may bust each other’s balls, but that’s to be expected. And in almost every clip they’re wearing matching, v-neck sweaters, which, if I’ve learned anything from videos on the internet, means they totally started Frenching as soon as the cameras were off.
[video via Urlesque]
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Siskel and Ebert look like 2/3 of the players from the original Ice Hockey on NES. [2.bp.blogspot.com]
They were busting each other’s balls on camera in preparation for cupping each other ball’s after the camera stopped rolling
Whatever, JUST DO IT LIVE! WE’LL DO IT LIVE!
Pete Hammond’s review show has him rating movies based on how many thumbs he sticks up his ass
Ebert’s darker side is also known as his wife.
I have a hard time coming up with fat jokes too. I’d just keep saying
“At the moooooooovies” and then kicking him in the shin before we make out
“Your sweater vest would look better crumpled up next to my bed”
is my favorite pick up line.
There wasn’t nearly as much horse fucking or satan worshipping in that video as I was expecting.
Something about Gene Siskel tells me he could take a punch.
I think it’s his tombstone.
Ebert’s darker side is the side the sun hasn’t orbited around yet.
Ebert always called my asscrack Beyond the Alley of the Dolls
*sniff
Ebert hated “Full Metal Jacket” beacuse Siskel was throwing R. Lee Ermey/Private Pile quotes at him all day after the screening.
“Ebert?”
“No, thanks Ernie. I’m gonna try this homemade meth that Gary Busey gave us.”
Ebert couldn’t fit into that tiny Full Metal Jacket. Now Benji, he was accomodating.
“Uncanny valley” is also what Ebert calls a flat, white ass.
Siskel had to shave off that glorious stache after Ebert’s free ride nearly killed him.
Anyone else think Roger Ebert now looks like Admiral Akbar?
Why are there no clips from the lighter side of Siskel and Ebert? The secret popcorn butter tickle fights in the back row, long games of hide the jujubee and the forbidde Reese’s cupping.
Ebert’s only regret is that he can’t use his dry erase board to order at the McDonald’s drive thru.
Something tells me that even if he were alive today, sitting awkwardly as Ebert gargled his movie reviews through his tracheotomy hole, Siskel would STILL be harder to understand.
orton: check out this sweet Roger Ebert t-shirt!
I’d like to see the Dark Side of Sisqo & Ebert, if for no other reason than to hear Ebert sing about wanting to see a girl’s thong.
What with the black and white picture of Ebert and Paul Giamatti?
What’s, even
If Roger Ebert doesn’t gain back the weight he’s lost I’m going to have to think of someone else when I have my fat gay rapist abduction fantasy.
For a second I thought that maybe Ebert was going to put Siskel in critical condition.
They tried it for a while, but that mustache Siskel’d his Ebert a bit too much.
siskel and ebert are black?
I was really hoping at some point the video would go to a negative black and white and we’d hear that beeeng bong diiing doong from Tales from the Dark Side. They’re monsters I tell you MONSTERS!
I swear i’ve heard my parents have some of these exact same conversations. And they both look like old lesbians, so………Moms?