SITE NEWS: PORK CITY
01.21.10
Greetings, Drunkards. I’ve only got a few minutes here in the Cincinnati Airport (beautiful, by the way), but I wanted to let you know that I’ll be in Park City for the Sundance Film Festival by nightfall. I don’t have press credentials* because I’m too much of a rebel (to even wear pants) so I don’t even really know what the hell I’ll be doing there or if your daily FilmDrunk experience will even change all that much, but I just thought I’d let you guys know. Frankly, the hookers just seemed bored by it. Anyway, expect a few reviews, and maybe a picture or two, but I’ll try to keep my boring travelogues and hobo wrestling stories to a minimum. (Note: I only wrestle girl hobos.)
Also: follow Filmdrunk on Twitter if you want more up-to-the-minute travel photos, thoughts on date rape and, like… pictures of… signs and stuff. Shut up, just do it.
*If you got the hookup on that or you just want to send some naked pictures of yourself, be encouraged to email.
![[avatar]](http://p.uproxxcdn.com/global/images/default-avatar.jpg){kind=avatar}
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2012/01/Grown-Ups-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2012/01/Celeste-and-jesse-jones-samberg-rad-poodle-150x150.jpg)
Credentials? You don’t need no stinking credentials.
Can’t you just put a “PRESS” card in the band on your hat and talk real fast?
…or a “PULL” card in the band of your pants?
Just score some pot and smoke a security guard out.
Just piss your pants and say you’re from FOX.
MORE naked pictures? You’re insatiable.
I don’t see the point in sending you anymore dick pics. It looks the same in every pic.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! You’re in Kentucky!
Ooh, Sundance! Come for the hyped movies that will never be released, stay for the pretentiousness.
Two chicks at once, man.
Two chicks at ONCE?! You’re gross.
havent you learned nothing at werner herzog`s film school? pick a lock and enter through the back, like when you ass rape that midget fehks got in the basement.
I will be sure to mock you as I shuffle by with the pretentious folk.
2girls1lord
Lose some weight and tell them you’re Michael Cera. Try going with your fly unzipped or with some other hilariously awkward wardrobe mistake.
If that doesn’t work, get a spray bottle of windex and some newspaper and tell them you’re from Univision.
Vince, hope you didn’t forget to pack your magic underwear.
Just tell ‘em you’re Heidi Montag.
Tell them you’re Luke Walton.
Tell them you’re Omar Epps.
Tell them you’re Roman Polanski’s assistant.
Tell them you’re Harry Knowles.
And if that doesn’t work, tell them you’re Solange Knowles.
Don’t tell them you’re Sharron Peters.
Tell them you’re The Situation.
Tellem you be Soulja Boy. You’ll probably be the darkest thing in Utah anyways.
Goddammit, Pauly, did someone tell you about the Luke Walton thing or did you come up with that on your own?
I came up with that on my own. He played his college ball here in Tucson at the U of A. So when I saw your angelic face that was the first thing to pop-up in my head. And my head was the first thing to pop-up in my pants.