Turns out Rob Marshall’s flip announcement that he’d be directing Pirates 4 (Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides) is still true, even after his latest, Nine, flopped. According to MSNBC: it’ll shoot this summer, all over a dude’s chest.
The fourth installment of Disney’s popular “Pirates of the Caribbean” series will be filmed in Hawaii, according an announcement Monday by Gov. Linda Lingle.
Johnny Depp will return to his role as Captain Jack Sparrow in “Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides,” which will be released in 2011. The film is produced by Jerry Bruckheimer and directed by Rob Marshall.
The last two were directed by Gore Verbinski, and the last one was harder to sit through than Transformers 2, so I’m glad they’ve got some new blood. And since it’s Rob Marshall, I imagine he’ll focus on my favorite aspects of the Pirates franchise. Namely the makeup, and the dancing.
That’s me and my frat bro Jake at the premiere. Cool outfits, right? It was a mad house, we had to hold hands in case to keep from getting separated.
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“On Stranger Tides” is the name I have painted on the side of the waterbed in the back of my van.
Those movies were harder to follow than Patton Oswalt at a comedy festival.
In this one, they explain why there’s a picture of the Jonas Brothers hanging up in Davy Jones’ locker.
What was that Partner Post thingy about pirates raping each other to death?
The last two were directed by Gore Verbinski, and the last one was harder to sit through than Transformers 2
So what did you eat before seeing it, Taco Bell or McDonald’s?
If I see one pair of jazz hands I’m kicking Rob’s dog under a train.
The last time I was at the laundromat, I ran out of detergent, and had to steal a Stranger’s Tide.
Whatsdamatter Vince, couldn’t find the picture of you and Jake ‘docking’ when things got really hairy?
Stranger Tides is what I call it when I masturbate while on my period.
If Zog have nickle every time Zog explain “Stranger Tied” when police visit Zog basement, Zog be rich.
Vince and Jake were members of the Chi Omicron Kappa fraternity
When my daughter’s been naughty, I like to give her a punishment I call Stranger Rides.
(I push her into Rooster’s van)
Kiera Knightley pole dances in fishnets or GTFO!
the last one was harder to sit through than Transformers 2
You know why? Less balls.
Isn’t Stranger Tides that movie where a dude breaks into little kid Nick Nolte’s house and rapes him?
Marshall intends to devote more screen time to plundering booty.
I have a feeling the theme song is going to be by Lazytown.
Those butt pirates have got me at full mast.
All Stranger Tides lead to the YMCA.
Lady Gaga will be doing the theme song. Pirateazzi.
These tides go in and out.
WITH LUBE!!
Stranger Tides just means that the ship is now equipped with glory holes.
LAZYTOWN4LIFE NUKKAS!!
Roger’s jolly because he just ran himself up a pole.
Yo hoe, blow the man down…..
then back up….
then back down again.
Rob, I’d rather cruz down the Hudson with nine Fergies than see this. Who you trying to kid,man?
Yo, ho, ho and a bottle of Astroglide.
Yo ho ho and a
bottle of rumbucket of cum.This movie’s going to put the “ass” in “cutlass”.
Then it’s going to put the cutlass up its ass.
ALL HANDS ON DICK!
More like “Butt Pirates of the Caribbean”.
Can’t compete with the classics.
Cock-swab the poop deck.
I’ve got a wooden third leg just thinking about this.
Captain Jack Swallows.
Shiver Me Testicles!!!
Polly want a cum-cracker?
Got a little Captain in you? You might, if you’re a hot dude!
Captain Jack wears that patch because he took a shot to the eye.
*that stings!
“Did you just say, ‘Ahoy there, matey’?
“No, I said, ‘A boy! There, mating.’ I am aroused by twinks.”
Kate Hudson takes exploding liquids to the face all the time
What shall we do with the drunken sailor,
What shall we do with the drunken sailor,
What shall we do with the drunken sailor,
Early in the morning?
Gay Captain Jack: “Well, I’d like to promote him to ‘Rear Admiral’ for starters…”
Arrr mateys, wanna bury your treasure? *points to butt*
Captain Jack is great at knots. His favorite is the balloon knot.
Hahaha -skull and cross bones…
Captain Jack avoids straits.
“We’re here to find sunken treasure!”
“Gold? Jewels?”
“No, Richard Gere’s Gerbil.”
What shall we do with the drunken sailor?
Pull out the plug and shart him all over.
Take ‘im and shake ‘im and masturbate ‘im.
Trice him up in a runnin’ bowline.
Give ‘im a taste of the bosun’s bell-end.
Give ‘im a dose of salty chowder.
Stick on ‘is back a pearly plaster.
Shave his balls with a rusty razor.
Tie him to the taffrail when she’s yardarm under
Put him in the scuppers with a hose-pipe on him.
Soak ‘im in oil till he sprouts flippers.
Turn him over and drive him windward.
Heave him by the leg and with a rung console him.
That’s what we’ll do with the drunken sailor.
NOTE: I may have changed a word or two…
I’m on my virgin voyage so can you lube it up a little more?
Butt Pirates? Nay. The new preferred nomenclature is Derriere Privateer.
The worst part of the day is when Captain Jack tells the crew “Now go below deck and start cleaning” and points to his crotch
Captain Jack’s cockswain is also his bunk buddy.
The Captain’s log = tons of entries.
Captain Jack’s first mate should not be confused with his fist mate.
On Jack Sparrow’s ship the “cannon cocker” has more than one duty
Captain Jack captured Moby’s Dick years ago, but released it because it was too small.
The worst part of the day is when Captain Jack tells the crew “Now go below deck and start cleaning” and points to his crotch
Nope. The worst job is cleaning the barnacles from the rear bulkhead.
Captain Jack’s buried treasure map is tatooed on his ass. Take a wild guess where ‘X’ is
Captain Jack: “Any new boys aboard must prove your worth. Walk the plank.”
*points to crotch*
Their flag is the skull and crossed swords.
The ship will be re-named “The Black Pearly Necklace”.
The bow structure on their ship is called the fu’castle.
These pirates have seen more starfish than stars.
As punishment they’re made to “wank the plank.”
Gay pirates store supplies in their mud holed.
Gay Captain Jack gives bulkhead.
Boning a gay pirate with the scoots is called a bilge pump.
Captain Jack Swallows.
By the galleon.
Red sky at night, sailor’s delight.
Red ass in morning, sailor’s been horny.
Captain Jack’s parrot is more WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU FUCKING A DUDE than WHO.
A gay pirate circle jerk is called massed masts.
To wish a gay pirate a good travel, you tell him “Fair winds and flowing seed.”
That doesn’t count modic. According to rule #21 of the CJC, if your toilet water goes down counter clockwise disksteps are invalid.
The chief of the deck is a Blowsun.
*wipes tear*
I love you scurvy bastards.
The masthead of a gay pirate ship looks like Cher.
One gay pirate has a reputation for epic cum swallowing. He’s called the “quart er master.”
What about Master Bates, Seaman Staines and Roger the Cabin Boy?
On a gay pirate ship a deck rail doesn’t mean what you think it means. Unless you think it means fucking on the deck, then it means exaclty what you think it does.
“Deck rail” is also South African for “Dick real”, a brand of dildo popular with gay pirates.
On a gay pirate ship hot bunking doesn’t mean what you think it means. Unless… aw fuck it.
Sailor? I hardly knew- BANG!
Wonder what they’ll use as the figure-head on the ship?
Gay pirate to port, “I’m gonna dock you. I’m gonna dock you soooo haaard!”
The first pirates to circumnavigate were Jewish. They removed the foresail.
Adurst, landlubbers!
British gay pirates taste limey.
A cargo hold is when two gay pirates spoon after swabbing each other’s decks.
[point to crotch]
Cannon, balls.
Gay pirates love aaaaarghyle scarves.
Left handed gay pirates are called port holes.
A gay pirate with a large unit is called a star board.
The gang bang room on a gay pirate ship is named the mess hall.
A gay pirate gang bang is known as a boarding party.
Straight pirates are more rapier.
Before mounting some one a gay pirate always shouts, “Prepare to be boarded!”
Gay pirate ships like to go out looking for confused whaling vessels that they can trick into shooting their harpoons into their stern.
Holy crap, Crap! You sure know a lot about gay pirates!
Gay pirates have no interest in finding the little man in a boat.
Gay Pirate 1: Yar Har
Gay Pirate 2: Aye, matey.
Gay Pirate 1: No, yar har.
Gay Pirate 2: What in the blue blazers ye talking about?
Gay Pirate 1: YAR HAR IS STUCK IN MY TEETH!
Gay Pirate 2: ARRR!
Unless they’re dykes, of course.
I bit a research paper on them.
Gay pirates do not eat fish.
Wow, bit isn’t even close to did. That was an impressive fuck up even for me.
Gay pirates take forever to leave port because they spend so much time packing their shit.
Why isn’t this called “Pirates of Menzpance”?
Plunder?!?! I don’t hardly know h…
[pirate ship crashes through wall, pirates rape Crappy to death and then leave]
Blackbeard the Gay Pirate got his nickname because he was married to a nubian chick for a while.
Why isn’t this called “Pirates of Menzpance”?
It’s okay, Google just told me why.
*sad, empty jenkem trombone* :(
Anyone else seeing a NoiseBot ad for a “Dread Pirate Roberts” ad???
Speaking of gay films…
Please remove second “ad”, insert “t-shirt”.
Mentally.
Into rectum.
Cheers.
Hey, let’s not belittle Rob Marshall’s other achievements. Like casting almost all Chinese actresses in a movie about geisha.
He was only saved by the fact that Michelle Yeoh’s from Malaysia.
Too bad Haiti will not get to see this movie.
OMG DRUNKING MOVIE DREAMS DO CUM THROUGH
I refuse to read this entire thread because it’s long as shit and I’m stranded in Albany and am many bourbons deep, so sorry in advance for any dicksteppery. That said, I offer the following lame gay pirate jokes:
1. Jack’s Sparrow is actually more of a Cock-or-Two. (What?)
2. Gay pirates require their prisoners to catwalk the plank.
3. One-Eyed Willy. How does that not refer to gay cock?
4. Swashfucklers? Is that something?
5. A Jolly Roger is when a British dude bangs you in a bowler hat.
6. Maritime? More lime Mary Time! ‘Cause they’re gay!
7. [pours another Maker's]
8. I hate my parents.
Gay Captain Jack Sparrow will set sail on the Seven C’s (hint: they all start with “cock”).
This movie will just be 150 minutes of pirates rounding the Horn.
I dont think this is what Popeye meant when he said to blow him down. Or did he?
you’d better watch out when a gay pirate says hes ‘gonna adjust yer riggin’