Everybody keeps sending me this Nic Cage as Everyone site so I assumed everyone had already seen it. But new is a little slow today, so here you go. The Tommy Boy picture is my favorite. Other headlines:
National Society of Film Critics names Hurt Locker best movie – which may mean its Oscar chances are cursed, as 7 of their last 11 choices failed to even get an Oscar nomination. We might as well chuck The Hurt Locker onto that non-Oscar-winning scrapheap with forgotten turds like Pulp Fiction. I mean who even remembers that? [Cinematical]
Peter Jackson has been knighted in his native New Zealand. New Zealand’s only been a colony since 1840, so I’m not sure why they’d even have knights, but I hear the ceremony involves shearing a sheep while being presented with a ceremonial salami. Congrats, Pete. (Also, how many dudes named “Pete” were involved in that ceremony? I’d bet at least five.) [THR]
Weinstein says they’re staying the course with Nine, contrary to previous reports. Which is great news for the Golden Globes’ credibility. Hey, films tracking 37% on rottentomatoes always get nominated for best picture awards, right? [THR]
Here are some of the songs for The Goonies musical that Rob Dean and Keith Doughty have been trying to make happen for the past eight years. See “Sloth’s Song” after the jump. In related news, I sang Billy Joel using only mouthfarts once. [playlist here, with lyrics over at /Film]
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Nick Cage looks like a composite of all the extra skin from the Biggest Loser participants from last season. Thanks for ruining my appetite for hookers and blow tonight…
It’s as if Cage turned his forehead into blubber…it’s hypnotic.
Now, if somebody would just ‘Shop Nic Cage’s face into that scene where Tommy runs from the imaginary bees, we’d really be in business.
If The Lovely Bones sucks half as much as I think it’s going to, Peter Jackson may get M. Nighted as well.
Normally I love goofy ideas for musicals, but did they get Nickelback to write that song? Holy shit, that stunk.
New Zealand’s only been a colony since 1840
So, only slightly longer than the combined running time of the LotR movies.
If Peter Jackson directed porn, his name would be Peter Jackin.
The fluffers would be Peter Jackin as well.
As a knight he is granted lands under the feudal system, he gets a Jackson fife.
Peter Jackson is his own furry.
Weinstein says they’re staying the course with Nine,
Because as Bush showed us, staying the course with a failed project is always the best choice.
BOOSH!
I want to take his face… off.
And put it on Ghost Rider, right?
In High School everyone called my cousin Sloth. The name fit: he was really ugly, probably retarded, and really friendly when not upset by something. What no one else knew is that he was also a hermaphrodite.
/serious
Was?
My condolences.
Was. He’s post-op and all burly man now. The twist: being probably retarded, he still doesn’t know that his junk was any different. Yes, he thinks everyone gets “new penis surgery”.
/serious
The conversation turns to penis talk and nobody tells me? Thanks, jerks.
Cock a dude’ll doo!
Hey, anybody let Chino know that. . . oh, nevermind then.
Someone should still call Al.
The penis in question only exists so that the person in question can use urinals instead of having to sit to pee. If you are still interested, care to go on a blind date with my cousin?
I don’t see what the big deal is! A giant thumb in a turtleneck! WHOOPTY DOO!
Oooh, Baby Ruth, you got what I neeeeeed. But you’re just a candy bar, yeah you’re just a candy bar. OOOHHH BABY RUUUUTH!
If that really is the music they wrote for a serious attempt at a produced musical, I’d rather watch Nine. The storyline is already written, focus on the music. Then I can still not see it, but at least I’ll know you tried.
i didn’t realise new zealand had an honours system. are you sure they didn’t just let him fuck a sheep in the town square or something
Tell me that Fek and I aren’t the only schlubs working today.