JOHN TRAVOLTA IS A BAZOOKA PIRATE
01.05.10
After the jump, I’ve got the second trailer for From Paris With Love, Pierre Morel’s follow up to Taken starring John Travolta and Jonathan Rhys Meyers. I thought Taken was pretty dumb, but I appreciated the whole Liam-Neeson-shooting-women-in-the-arm thing. This looks like a similarly straightforward plot — Travolta plays an anti-terrorism spy who’s a bit of a loose cannon, and who in the trailer literally shoots people with a loose cannon. After Hairspray and some of the other stuff Travolta’s done in past few years, they really wanted to butch him up a bit. So they gave him a goatee, a shaved head, and a big gold earring, which makes you look either really straight or like one of those mountain-man gays who whittles his own butt plugs.
[HD available at Apple.com -- Dear Apple, give us embed code already]
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Lince, if you see Brend0n when youse guys are on break at the blog factory, tell him The Mighty Feklahr wants to thank him for those Biel pics.
With a blowjob.
Travolta looks like Zemecko-cap in this trailer. Either that, or he is a female on a sit-com trying to pass as a man. Either way, Jett is now, officially, my favorite Travolta.
Banner pic: Never pull a knife on a gypsy, because he’ll steal it.
That’s not a knife… THIS is a… oh wait. It is a knife.
WHAT DO YOU THINK THIS IS ABOUT?!?!? IT’S ABOUT NUT SHOTS!!!!
I don’t think that the two collars he has popped in banner pic are quite enough.
So, “Swordfish” after a tough fight against cancer?
I take it everyone has already complained that the page freezes all the time and takes ages to load? Good.
Paris Hilton makes a cameo or I’ll eat my hat, and let me tell you, it’s a straw boater, and they don’t go down easy.
Bryce-The Mighty Feklahr has not been having problems, but He *is* using advanced outer space alien technology*.
*Firefox
The biker from the Village People thinks Travolta looks really gay.
Morty-Try a knit Chicago Bears stocking hat.
John Waters has declared this film to be in poor taste.
Bah, He doesn’t know if He has another futile Gimli joke in Him…
Fek -but then I wouldn’t match the rest of my Barbershop Quartet, Raging Harmonies.
Bazooka pirates have little comic strips inside their bandanas.
Curse your superior technology! Why do I just have a cloak instead of a cloaking device?!
So it’s a bubble gum pirate that has to stay 500 yards from parks and schools and a bazooka pirate that looks like gay porn on a stick ? I think I can keep that straight.
If Travolta tricks Captian Harris to go into the Blue Oyster again, I’ll eat my hat.
ROFLKOTAL! Jonathan Rhys Meyers is kinda like John Rhys-Davies, who played Gimli!!! NEVER TRUST AN ELF! OR A ROMULAN! OR A VULCAN IN PON FARR!
“Bazooka Pirate” is my new favorite euphemism for the gays.
Hey Tom, want to go get some ice cream?
Tom Cruise: Sure, as long as there are no bazooka pirates there.
This Bazooka Pirate blows YOU!!!
Bazooka pirates are always in search of booty.
Just like Travolta, this movie will blow.