My fellow Columbia MFA student James Franco (oh yeah, it’s true, we’ve practically even met) is set to star in 127 Hours for Danny Boyle, the story of climber Aron Ralston, who hacked off his right arm to free it from a boulder.
The film tells the story of mountaineer Aron Ralston, whose right forearm got pinned for nearly five days under a boulder during a climb in Utah in May 2003. He used a dull knife to amputate the limb, then scaled a 65-foot sheer wall and hiked out before running into a family that gave him water and food. [ComingSoon]
Settle down, ladies. Now, I know Aron Ralston seems like the manliest man ever, and he makes a ton of money traveling the country for speaking appearances and he practically has a dildo for an arm, but keep in mind… he was right handed. So he probably throws like a girl now. Hopefully doctors can whip him up some sort of prosthetic attachment for throwing a frisbee. What? You know that motherf*cker plays frisbee.
(James Franco and Nic Cage)
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Now he’ll really never fit in when he gets tickets to the Arsenio Hall show.
They should make an attachment to hold a brush
How will he light his bong?
Somebody should tell him that Dustin Hoffman cut off his own hand to play Hook.
I cut it off after it got pinned under a boulder while I was rock climbing is such a sissy story. If he really wants to pull in the tail, he should tell women that he had a falling out with it and they went their separate ways and all it’s ever done is a few Hamburger Helper commercials.
Aron Ralston always gets picked last for touch football. He’s the worst tackler ever.
He only signed on because they told him he’d be getting stoned.
Franco has already started giving handy j’s left-handed to get in character. Someone tried to tell him Ralston is straight, but he just waved his hands and said, “Performance art.”
To get into the role, Franco plans on spending time in Saudi Arabia. When asked why, he responded “well, if Aaron had to spend five days under Iraq, so will I.”
I went to high school with Cung Le. Sure we were a few years apart. I don’t remember ever talking to him. But he was probably one of the hundreds of asians I passed in the halls every day.
It makes me really uncomfortable whenever Aron Ralston fools me by informing me that “there’s something on your shirt” That nubbin smells like chili-cheese fritos.
This movie would be way more interesting if Bruce Campbell got the part instead.
If Aron came down with Parkinsons, I’d totally let him get to third base.
If a Farewell to Arms falls out of his backpack at the begginging of the movie someone needs to be shot. With a BOOMSTICK.
I bet the movie will get dull after the 30 minutes of Franco trying to scratch his balls, then remembering her has a left hand in a Neo like OHHHHHHHHHHH.