HUGH JACKMAN TO ROBO BOX IN MICHIGAN
01.25.10
(Oh right, like I’m the a–hole for trying to make the picture relevant.)
Good news, Michigan: haha, no we haven’t fixed your sh–ty economy yet, but the Detroit Free Press is confirming that director Shawn Levy’s Real Steel will begin shooting this June, in the Wolverine State.
For those of you unfamiliar with movies about giant metal things that punch each other in the f–king face, Real Steel is the “incredibly human story” of the aforementioned genre; It’s like the Lorenzo’s Oil of robot movies. Hugh Jackman stars as an ex boxer who reconnects with his lost son while training a clunker robot to compete in the futuristic sport of robot boxing.
The movie will be filmed primarily in Michigan at locations in metro Detroit…’Real Steel’ has applied for the state’s film incentives and been approved, according to the Michigan Film Office. [source]
*pantomimes a camera lens with his hands*
Michigan, here we come baby. I can see it now:
EXTERIOR – DAY – AUTO GARAGE
Kid Rock rendition of Seger’s “Night Moves” plays on a radio.
HUGH JACKMAN: Son, there comes a time when you have to fight for what you believe in.
SON: I believe in you, dad. Now go out there and kick some robo-butt!
Jackman smiles at the boy. Reaches back and slaps his son across the face.
Eminem song carries over soundtrack.
FADE OUT -
-chodin
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Simpsons did it.
And I still say it’s stupid to train robots when you can just program them to kick ass.
What’s next, teaching the robot how to feel love? Blargh.
Well, Michigan does have the highest percentage of out-of-work robots in the country.
The red robot feels that the only way to recovery is through cutting taxes and fiscal responsibility, while the blue robot thinks that it’s more important to rehearse the big song and dance number.
I would have accepted ‘Robutt’ too.
WHY, Why was I programmed to feel pain?
You’d think that was a boxing ring, but it’s actually a skating rink. Detroit’s water is actually about 67% pee and 12% unemployment.
Film incentives include “We promise not to set you on fire.”
This is the worst idea for a movie…And even though the mock up of the screenplay is a joke, i will bet a whole paycheck that will be a scene in the movie (well minus the Jackman slap).
Really…so, they’re remaking a 47 year old Twilight Zone episode (Steel)…Nice to see that the strip mining of film and television past continues without pause. The original had Lee Marvin, who could bitch slap Jackman around and be home in time for cornflakes (except for the whole being dead thing…no, wait, even with him being dead). Now, if the film featured giant blue smurfs beating up James Cameron clones in a steal cage deathmatch…box office gold.
“Humans created tool.s” “Humans founded America.” “Humans wrote the song Brick House.” “ENOUGH OF YOUR SCHOOL’S REVISIONIST HISTORY! It’s time you learned about your adopted Robot Heritage, son.”