GREED IS GOOD AGAIN
01.28.10
(“Greed is good, kid. You know what else is good? Bein’ regular. Now pass me that Activia.”)
Finally we have the long-threatened teaser trailer (click on the picture to play) for Oliver Stone’s sequel to Wall Street, Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps. It doesn’t give us a ton of footage, but it’s definitely going to probably suck. And I’m judging solely on the basis of the Fox logo here.
Emerging from a lengthy prison stint, Gordon Gekko (Michael Douglas) finds himself on the outside of a world he once dominated. Looking to repair his damaged relationship with his daughter, Gekko forms an alliance with her fiancé Jacob (Shia LaBeouf), and Jacob begins to see him as a father figure. But Jacob learns the hard way that Gekko – still a master manipulator and player – is after something very different from redemption. [IMDB]
Is it money? Ooh, I bet it’s money, Gekko, you rogue. This trailer is basically finance-guy porn, and regardless of what political message Oliver Stone tries to hammer home, I expect this movie to be for pushy, New York A-holes what Entourage is for shiftless, L.A. douchebags. You know, pretty much like the first one. Except this time, LaBeouffed to a fine Sheen. …What? Screw you, you just don’t understand clever wordplay.
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Watching that clip, I was half expecting Douglas to pull his zipper down and say, ‘Oh, Ill show you the money alright’
Money never sleeps? Money never sleeps? That is so fucking weak.
Don’t you worry about missing a finger, let me worry about blank.
Sharks are winners, and they don’t look back because they have no necks. Necks are for sheep.
Woman: Oh, honey. That guy over there is looking at me.
Man: What? Where?
Woman: The one over there without eyelids. He’s all jittery liked he’s hopped up on cocaine.
Man: Oh, that’s the money you could be saving with Gekko. It’s more than Geico, BECAUSE GEKKO’S MONEY NEVER SLEEPS, BITCH.
I prefer all of my finance guy porn to involve Jim Cramer, thank you.
Patrick Bateman or GTFO
Oh I get it. Clever.
How’s that workin out for you?
I’d like to introduce this film’s marketing team to my 401k, which has been in a coma for about a year and a half now.
I just saved a bunch of money by switching to Gekko.
These movies are all bullshit. It’s not as exciting as they make it seem.
*checks Yahoo finance, sees his 40 shares of AIG down $0.60*
FUCK!
Seriously? Given that 99.993725% of the American public would like to see every Brooks Brothers pin stripe suit wearing Streeter strung up and beaten to death by mobs of angry geriatrics I predict this movie will fall right on it’s pompus fat face. Unless all the characters get strung up and beaten to death by geriatrics.
Emerging from a lengthy prison stint…
Well now I know what to call my new dildo.
Is Daryl Hannah in this one too?
Did you see Gordon Gekko’s cell phone? He should have went to Freecreditreport.com.
Cameron Douglas never sleeps either.
Maybe Gordon Gekko should have went to freecreditreport(dot)com and he wouldn’t be stuck with that cell phone.
Montage of Shia struggling to learn counting toxic assets on only 4 fingers or GTFO.
“I can count the reasons to invest with me on one hand. My future son-in-law can’t, but I can.”
HAHAHA soup thinks he’ll get to retire. Is it snowing on top of Gumdrop Mountain?
…because of all the methamphetamine, you see.
This trailer is basically finance-guy porn
Holy shit, my first erection since Boiler Room!! Honey, get the candles and the Grind n’ Brew. Daddy’s home tonight!
In reality, Gekko would get out of prison, take one look at Goldman and be like “f*ck, I can’t compete with that.”
I request that from now on, all posts referencing this film include a gecko with the head of that black dude from Sesame Street.
First look I thought the title was “Creed is Good Again” and this was about Rocky 7.
For a minute there, I thought you said CREED was good again and I was confused because Creed was never good.
Think it was awkward when Douglas asked for three fingers of scotch?
Jesus fuck, Crappy…
For the record, I started writing that comment five minutes ago before I got interrupted by work.
*wipes off Crappy’s dick*
HE’S STEALING YOUR LIMO!
Diff Creed, doesn’t count.
CJC 4 Laif!
For a second there I thought the headline read “Dread Is Good Again” and I thought . . . Fuck yeah! Any chance we get Diane Lane naked this time around?
That bitch is still hot 15 years later!
In the first draft, Gekko becomes Madoff’s bitch in prison.
True Story;
At the end a Dodger game I saw Oliver walking toward me, I shouted, “I loved you in Motny Python’s Holy Grail!” (fuck you purists. I know that’s not the title, but it was a best my drunk as could muster on such short notice to call him Terry Gilliam) Before we passed I saw just enough of a WTF expression on his face to be satisfied.
Why did his mobile phone have to do time also? Let that caged bird sing.
Can’t believe Stone didn’t write the script for this one. We’re talking about the man responsible for both “This town is one giant pussy just waiting to get fucked” AND “how many yachts can you waterski behind?” Honorable mention: Charlie Sheen asking the Manhattan skyline: “Who am I?”
Finance guy porn ? Where’s mah weird saggy ass ?
Oh, I found it.
It’s funny ’cause that old dude’s, you know, like, all old ‘n stuff. WHAT A LOOSER!!
Note: Typos included for historical accuracy.
They’re going to Michael Milken this for all they’ve got.
Gekko: Shia, I need you to buy 500 shares of Teldar paper.
Shia: Buy Buy Buy Buy Buy Buy Buy!
Gekko: Now I need you to sell 1000 shares of United Steel.
Shia: Sell Sell Sell Sell Sell!
Gekko: I’d like you to meet my interior decorator Darien.
Shia: (stammers incoherently, a robot pulls his pants down, swings out of the room with pack of monkeys)
The dollar never sleeps because its too busy falling.
If I was Cash I’d never sleep because I’d be too busy banging Jessica Alba.
If I was Cash I’d never sleep because I’d be to busy winning the 1961 American League batting title.