I09 recently got a hold of the above still of Jake Sully, which takes place after the deleted bar fight scene. In the scene, Jake Sully sees some guy slap a woman and decides to give him a paraplegic-style beat down. But fighting someone else’s fight and trying do the right thing only gets him thrown out, where he lies in the street, sprawled in the shape of a crucifix. Now, I know what you’re thinking, bros – “A biblical allusion — in a sci-fi movie?!? That’s insane!”
But it’s true. James Cameron went there. Turns out Avatar was even more of a game changer than we thought. Game. Changer.
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Pictured in the foreground: Dracula.
They’re staring at him like he needs to be saved. Saved.
I want to see this movie less and less every time we talk about it.
I think he really likes to pretend he’s the eagle on his shirt.
LOL. Cripples can’t ride Harleys.
woah thats like so symbollic
If he can’t walk, then why are his sneakers so dirty?
He’s got awfully muscular thighs for a wheeler.
we can transport your consciousness into a hybrid clone of yours, but we can’t fix your spinal injury sonny boy!!
Cupcake animals know what’s up.
I’m starting to think that actor was just pretending to be paraplegic.
Jennifer was right all along man. snort.
He’s no Jesus, he can’t even walk on water.
He can’t even just walk.
“Wait a minute! This id says you’re only 9!”
“That’s in cripple years. In normy years, I’m like 35.”
Daniel Day-Lewis would’ve paralyzed himself for this role.
Detective 1: This says here you’re an organ donor…
Detective 2: Whaddya gonna donate? YOUR LEGS![Detectives laugh together]
It’s nice to see New Jersey hasn’t lost it’s charm and allure in the future.
Bah! Jesus would’ve crawled back in there and bitten the shit out some ankles.
You know what constantly talking about this movie is making me? Avatired.
“Get up, pal! You’re sprawled out in the street like a common farm animal! What, were you born in a barn?”
Detective 1: Says here you’re 5’10″….
Detective 2: What? Did they measure ya laying down? ‘Cause you’re 4’3″ in the chair! {Detectives laugh together]
This guy never could have carried that cross.
Deleted scenes of cripples falling out of wheelchairs?
That’s not what Cameron meant when he said “Roll footage!”
Detective 1: Ok, [reads ID] Jake Sully we’re gonna have to arrest you for disorderly conduct.
Detective 2: You want I should ‘cuff him? It’s not like he’s gonna flee! [Detectives laugh together]
Let’s go. Jesus, Dracula, furry blue crippled cat guy.
Fuck, marry, kill?
If you put his wheelchair brake on, he could perform “The Stationary of the Cross.”
Cameron: “What? You think Jake is the Christ-figure? Don’t be stupid. Let me spell it out … his initials are “J.S.” You followin’ me? Idiots.”
* deleted end of the deleted scene *
CLUB OWNER runs out door of bar, addresses BOUNCERS
CLUB OWNER: “What the fuck, man, I just asked you to roll the guy at the end of the bar.”
Detective 1: You gonna have to come down to the station with us, Mr. Sully.
Detective 2: But the chair stays, we don’t have a wheelchair carrier on the cruiser. [Detectives share a small chuckle as that was not as funny as the previous jokes, yet they continue]
“Lord, turn me into a leonopteryx, so I can fly far, far away from here…”
Detective 1: Hey, what happened to your friend?
Jake Sully: What friend?
Detective 2: Yeah, your friend. I thought yous guys were a PAIR OF ‘peligics? [Detectives laugh together, high 5 each other]
Oddly enough you kill Jesus and Dracula in the same manner…ram a spear through their heart.
Jake Sully: so you guys gonna help me up?
Detective 1: Not yet.
Detective 2: yeah, I think we still got at leats two more jokes.
He would have been ok, but he was abandoned by his buddy, Judas Wheelchariot.
In the name of The Father, The Son, and the Roll-y Ghost.
Detective 1: Oh wait, ask us if we’re gonna help you up again.
Jake Sully: [reluctantly] Hey, are you guys gonna help me up?
Detective 1: No.
Detective 2: Yeah, whaddya take us for? ROLAIDS!
[Detectives laugh together]
Detective 1: [to Detective 2] That was a good one!
…and on the 3rd day, he had fallen and couldn’t get up.
Banner pic: How Eddie Vedder takes a nap.
His girlfriend Mary dumped him because he always ignored her while she washed his feet.
…. because he couldn’t tell she was… what, over there? Okay, I’m going….
Detective 3: “Hey, guys! He’s really sullying his dead brother’s good name, don’tcha think? Guys?”
Detective: Son, were gonna have to call your dad to come pick you up.
Jake: NO!!! If he finds out about this he’ll crucify me!
The reason this guy was so happy living with the blue cat people is because according to his secret origin, he’s John Goodman’s character from Monsters Inc shaved down.
“Son, I knew a kid like you. He spent all day online, pretending to be something he wasn’t, just so he could imagine what it was like to get laid. That kid’s name: Stephen Dorff. And he doesn’t appreciate this impression of his career that you’re doing here on the ground.”
If he can’t walk, then why are his sneakers so dirty?
What do you think he uses for brakes?
Well…he does look like Jesus my gardener. Fucker’s always laying out working on his tan.
Detective 1: Eh, looks like we got a real CHRISTopher Reeve here!
Detective 2: Yeah, ’cause he sure as hell ain’t CHRISTopher Walken! Ahhaha…ow!
Detective 1: ….. *coughs, looks at Detective 2*
Detective 2: What?
Detective 1: Why do you always try to one-up me?
Detective 2: Whatever, man. That shit was funny.
Detective 1: Screw this, let’s go to the Titty Bar and harass the strippers.
Detective 2: What about him?
Detective 1: Meh, we’ll come back for him later. He ain’t going anywhere.
So Cameron planned to portray him as a Jesus figure without killing him?
No, sg. He in fact dies and his spirit is resurrected (into a cat-monkey).