Here, you guys, watch this red-band trailer for She’s Out of My League while I ponder how anyone could find Jay Baruchel interesting enough to write a movie around. It’ll be like when Uncle Tony would give me a Rubik’s cube to play with while he went upstairs to bang my mom. (Joke’s on you, Tony, I just took the stickers off).
Seriously though, who likes this guy? Jay Baruchel couldn’t be more boring if he was reading Slate and talking to me about Roth IRAs. All he ever does is scrunch up his eyebrows, throw his hands up in the air and move his head around spastically. It’s his response to everything, like Wiley Wiggins’ nose pinch or Kristen Stewart’s lip bite. And this concept is just as bad as I Love You, Beth Cooper. If it were an old woman, I’d push it off a cliff. I get it, it’s like wish-fulfillment for schlubby douches. But if you’re expecting me to use Jay Freaking Baruchel as a stand in for myself, well you can just dere-lick my balls, capitan. [-video via CinemaBlend]
(“Hurrr, I scrunch my eyebrows because every day life takes me by surprise.”)
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If Hollywood keeps this up, I may just say, “Fuck it” and decide to like Miss March.
I am so ready to see this work of art.
I have an identical robot me that’s my stand in. It has sweet ninja sword though.
Listen, I like pussy like any other guy, but having to chase it just aint my thing. That’s why I set these bear traps.
I suppose I could use the ninja sword if I wanted. But then he’d be defenseless.
My stand in, Tim Robbins circa High Fidelity.
Tranq darts work really well if you use some bait to lure ‘em in. I use a tv playing American Idol or my mom’s lifesize Antonio Banderas blow-up doll.
Jay Baruchel isn’t good looking enough to masturbate to that chick.
The Elders of Zion couldn’t get that chick to bang Jay Baruchel.
And really, me carrying around a ninja sword and a .45 seems like overkill. But, you never know when you’re just going to walk into a bank heist like that movie Heat. And then where would I be? I’d be in a bank with robbers who still have arms, that’s where.
Jay Baruchel is such a pussy that this is actually a lesbian rom-com. If only Jonah Hill was in it as the sidekick, she’s as funny as Rosie O’Donnell.
Jay Baruchel is what you get when you combine Ross Geller and an iron lung.
No shit she’s out of your league twirp! Title IX didn’t mean girls could play in DIV 1A! Just that they get to play. Fem Nazi hags!
I don’t like girls out of my league ’cause they probably are bad at feminine hygiene. Call it sour grapes, I call it sour vagina.
I once gave a pity bang to a guy that was out of my league and it got me thrown in jail! (He was still in the minor league) OOPS! My bad.
Jay Baruchel would be lucky to get a chihuahua to hump his shin.
@ChinoMo–you were great in Pity Pity Bang Bang.
*knows this (and the loss of my funny somewhere) will guarantee my never winning a COTW again)
I ponder how anyone could find Jay Baruchel interesting enough to write a movie around.
Why not? They made one around Michael Cera.
Alright, so it’s settled then. I’ll take the ninja sword for my own personal use, and I’ll equip the robot me stand in with a Beretta and grappling hook.
@JHC–Baruchel is the poor man’s Michael Cera. That may be the saddest sentence ever written.
Usually, girls that are out of my league just want to be my friend. That’s when I ask to borrow a blow-job.
Nice parenthesis fail, dumbfuck.
When they make these movies from a woman’s perspective, they just pretend it’s normal. In reality, the Sex and the City chicks would be asking Mr. Big why the FUCK he’s doing Sarah Jessica Parker. Practice? Dare? Community service obligation?
Jason Biggs wants his gig back. He also wants to know if you’re gonna finish that cruller.
That’s why I say “Fuck math” JHC.
Schlubby Douches was the worst player on my tee-ball team.
The only way this movie could be worse is if Sarah Silverman was the object of his affection.
I’m keeping the nightvision too.
This guy is his generation’s Eugene Levy.
What do you need nightvision for, MIZ? You huntin’ darkies again?
Jay Baruchel to Michael Cera: You remind me of me.
MC: I deserved that.
[high fives Patty B for a daily Community ref]
@MIZ–you might enjoy my new comedy, She’s Out of My Basement. Come back! Soon you will love me!
I enjoyed She’s Out of My League of Extraordinary Gentlemen. Because she’s a lady, you see.
The only women out of my league are the ones still breathing.
Jay Baruchel to Michael Cera: Hey, looks like we’re both here to test for the same role!
MC: [pours bottle of vanilla over head, double thumbs to chest] WIN!
*high-fives Crappy*
Congragihorrible!
I never thought I’d say this but I need a Twilight post right NOW!
* i just thought of a great joke and can’t rationalize wasting it here.
This movie hits too close to home. I had to put my Moodle to sleep. There was nothing the Plane doctor could do.
Most women are out of my league since I’m in the league of people with external genitalia.