LeonardMaltin_151Things

It turns out there’s a FilmDrunkard doing PR for the upcoming release of the book The 151 Best Movies You’ve Never Seen, written by Leonard Maltin — a man Abraham Lincoln once called “The biggest swinging dick in the history of the world.”  Upon completing the book, he reportedly chugged an entire bottle of 151 to celebrate.  Anyway, reading said book might help you discover:

  • What 151 movies have you never seen—but should?
  • What French film could teach Hollywood how to make a smart, sexy romantic comedy? (page 233)
  • Where will you find a female-centric Western with a gender-bending protagonist? (page 10)
  • What film won a Special Jury Prize at Sundance and then fell off the radar? (page 261)
  • How do Megan Fox’s panties smell after a long jog?

Okay, I might have made that last one up.  But they spell out the title in popcorn on the cover!  I thought that was clever.  Long story short, the author of last week’s best comment is getting a copy, and that commenter is…

Burnsy.  Burnsy pretty much owns fictionalized Channing Tatum, who slays me.  From Channing Tatum Wants to Play a Male Stripper:

Burnsy says: Yo girl, keep your singles. Only Lincolns touch this monument.

Burnsy says: Yo girl, don’t tell anyone, but my stage name is Cocktimus Prime.

Burnsy says: Yo girl, if your little brother steals my Zorro mask one more time I’mma beat him down.

Burnsy says: Yo girl, I’ve really enjoyed talking to you but Unskinny Bop means it’s time for me to show off my fat hog.

Honorable mentions:

(comments from the same Channing Tatum post) HoHosWeKnows says:

“You’re pale. And hairless. Your hat is tilted.”
“Say it. Out loud.”
“Wigger.”

Donkey Hodey says: Yo girl, try not to get any stank on that tie I just threw at you, I’mma need it for a job interview on Monday.

Donkey Hodey says: Haha yeah girl, I’d throw some flour at that.

From the 10 Dumbest Things Billy Bush Said at the Golden Globes post:

Burnsy says:  Honorable mention: “We’d like to welcome our friends tuning in from Haiti.”

Chareth Cutestory says: …and speaking of earthquakes, lumbering up to me now is Gabourey Sidibe. I kid, I kid, how the hell are you?”

From Kick-Ass has a kick-ass poster:

Morton Salt says: I’ve had a kick-ass poster for years. It’s got a cat hanging by just a claw from a tree branch and underneath that it says “Hang Loose, Pussy!” My Grandma always knew what to get me for Valentine’s.  [Ed note: I want that poster.]

From the announcement of Hustler’s Avatar porno, “This Ain’t Avatar XXX.”:

Mark it Zero says: I’m guessing that This Ain’t Murderball XXX hit a little too close to home for Hustler. [Ed. note: Jesus, man.]

Donkey Hodey says:  They could do ‘This Ain’t Old Dogs XXX’ and have only slightly more nut shots. [Ed. note: Aw, this was cuter.]

michaelceraplainandtall says: I hope the Avatar porno is nothing but Larry Flynt and Jake Sully rolling into each other for 2 hours and 48 minutes. [Ed. note: Aaaand we're back.]

From the New Conan is Some Dude:

Jacktion! says: He’s just going to be replaced by Leno in a few months anyway. [Ed. note: Haha, good one, Jay.]

From Trailer for Diary of a Wimpy Kid:

HoHosWeKnows says: This looks like the funniest tween movie since Diary of Anne Frank. “Dear Diary, I believe that deep down people are basically good. Except for gingers. Yeesh.” [Ed. note: It was the 'yeesh' that put it over the top for me.]

From The Director of Downfall Responds to the Hitler Meme He Created:

Hohosweknows: I just friended this guy on Facebuchanwald. [Ed. note: Hohosweknows definitely has newbie commenter of the week locked up]

That’s it, folks.  Keep commenting this week, I’ve got more stuff to giveaway from Sundance.  As always, nominate your favorite comments from this week by pasting them in the comments section below.