69Cats(Meet 69 Cats, aka Ourofuros)

Welcome to another installment of comments of the week.  As always, the way this works is, you can nominate for next week’s CotW by pasting a funny comment in the comments section of this post below.  If you need help finding it after it gets buried, just bookmark it and/or consult the Comments of the Week link in the sidebar.  Aaaaanyway, we had a clear winner this week, as I don’t think anyone could match this for creativity:TobeyMaguireAngry

[From CNN is tardy to the Avatard party] jennifer says: The occultic meaning of the word “Avatar” is really Lucifer/Satan. -That alone should have raised eyebrows, but it didn’t lol
-Think about that for a minute..what would happen if James Cameron just named the film -SATAN- …would people then want to consider the real meaning behind the film?
The entire Movie/Entertainment industry is a well financed satanic psychological war operation being executed upon the public right before their eyes.
Just like all the other Illuminati controlled industry, the Movie/Entertainment industry is a tool designed to advance their agenda of a “New World Order” and the deceptions that come along with it.
In the satanic Illuminati occult dogma, the term “AVATAR” represents their coming Anti-christ, and is the Illuminati occult representation of Satan incarnate.

And that wasn’t even the whole comment!  I can’t help but be impressed with someone who can “lol” while warning the world of the impending apocalypse.  Anyway, like I said, points for creativity.  Who’s your muse, jennifer, the neighbor’s dog?

Of course, the FilmDrunk regulars are pretty funny too.  There’s a lot more comments to get through, but I think Chareth Cutestory easily locked up the first runner up spot.

[from Zach Galifianakis is writing Paul Rudd's reality]
Chareth Cutestory says: Channing Tatum’s writer is actually just Kimbo Slice punching a speak-n-spell.

[from CNN is tardy to the Avatard party] Chareth Cutestory says:
“Hm. Wow. Straight talk from Mike in Missouri.”
“In other news, Haiti is gone. Really makes you think.”
[Shamwow commercial]

[from White people make their dog sing 'Pants on the Ground']
Chareth Cutestory says: “Haha. Black people. Doesn’t that beat all? Honey, get the dog.”

Then we had some fun with Dr. Dog:DoctorDog

Chareth Cutestory says: “Nurse, we’re gonna need to get these to the Lab.”

Donkey Hodey says: Haha, I love you Patches Adams.

Chareth Cutestory says: To get into see Doggy Houser, MD, you’re gonna need a refurral.

And then more fun with the Avatar deleted Na’avi tentacle sex scene:

ChinoMoreno says:
 So, after he got some tail, did Jake’s balls go back to their regular color?

Chareth Cutestory says: TENTACLE RAPE OR GTF-

Wait, really?

Carry on, then.

Morton Salt says: I always stick it in my lady’s tail, what’s the big deal?

ChinoMoreno says: I want to see the scene where she goes tail to mouth.

Påüłÿ Ðąηgęrσűşľγ says: 
I just blue my load.

Burnsy says:
NEYTIRI
I am with you now, Jake. We are mated for life.

JAKE
We are?

Clingy. Bitches. Err’where.

Patty Boots says: To be honest, I felt bad for Neytiri when she finally sees human Jake Sully. I’d be like, “Oh, you’re… a lot shorter than I expected.”  And that’s why you don’t date people you meet on the internet.

Stone Soup says:
Somewhat paraphrased captures from a conversation overheard at a 3 year old’s birthday party last week. Two women speaking to each other:
W1: “I saw Avatar last night – it was amazing.”
W2: “I’ve been seeing the commercials for it, it looks interesting. What are the blue people?”
W1: “They’re Avatars from planet Avatar.”
W2: “Oh.”
W1: “Yeah, it was pretty interesting and weird, like all of his movies.”
W2: “Who?”
W1: “Tim Robbins, you know, all his stuff is so out there.”
W2: “Tim Robbins?”
W1: “Yeah, I thought it was the Tim Robbins who’s married to Susan Sarandon, but there’s another Tim Robbins, the director – he made Nightmare at Christmas – this is just like that.”

Morton Salt says:
 Assuming Na’vi men have dicks, what happens when you touch your dick to your queue? I bet you cum. Hard.

ChinoMoreno says:  Last time I took it in the tail, I couldn’t sit for a week!

Morton Salt says:
 The marines would’ve defeated the Na’vi if only they had used spray bottles full of tap water.

Patty Boots says: 
The preferred Na’avi mating grounds are right outside your bedroom window at 4:00 AM.

That was kind of incredible.  Then there was the Australian Family groups protesting Kick-Ass and the C-word:

Morton Salt says: A dingo ate my c*nt.

ChinoMoreno says: That’s not a c*nt, THAT’s a c*nt!

ChinoMoreno says: I’ve got your vegemite sandwich right here
*points to c*nt*

ChinoMoreno says: My favorite Australian band is Silverc*nt.

ChinoMoreno says: My favorite Australian actress is Nicole C*ntman.

Miscellaneous:

[Court rules Keanu Reeves is not a shapeshifting philanderer] Pauly Dangerously says: Keanu maintains that Karen’s claims are “Booogus!”

[Mexican dog walks on front legs] ZeroCharisma says: Jesus… even their dogs have hydraulics.

[Channing Tatum burned his penis] Burnsy says: Yo girl, put some more of that aloe sh*t in your mouth while you’re blowing me.

Burnsy says: Yo girl, the only details I care about is when you plans on going home.

[Mark Wahlberg producing Four Brothers sequel] Burnsy says: If the mother’s dead, how can I say hello to her?

[Daniel Craig to star in Cowboys vs. Aliens] Donkey Hodey says: There’s your f*cking answer, Paula Cole. Now shave your goddamn armpits.

And finally, [from White people make their dog sing 'Pants on the Ground'] Moose says: That’s the best Channing Tatum impression I’ve ever seen.

Phew, my cntrl c, cntrl v fingers are tired.  Good job, everyone.