If you don’t like Groundhog Day, I’m not sure we can be friends. That a funny movie was filmed there 17 years ago is literally the only reason to go to Pennsylvania ever, yet PETA wants to dishonor the state’s history. They say Punxsutawney Phil is being mistreated and want him replaced with a robot. And yet about my girlfriend they say nothing. Hypocrites.
People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals is requesting a robotic stand-in for the furry favorite. PETA says it’s unfair to keep Phil in captivity and then subject him to huge crowds and bright lights every Feb. 2.
The animal is “being treated better than the average child in Pennsylvania,” William Deeley, president of the Inner Circle of the Punxsutawney Groundhog Club, said [while casually putting a cigar butt out on a baby's head.] The groundhog is kept in a climate-controlled environment and is inspected annually by the state Department of Agriculture. [NBC Philadelphia]
How does PETA know Phil hates crowds? Groundhogs are notorious attention whores. Still, I’d like to see them embrace this robot idea, if only to give the ceremony a modern edge. Robot groundhog could emerge from his den, and if he sees his shadow, he becomes agitated and destroys the city with lasers from his eyes. Don’t cry, kids, it’s only Pennsylvania, the oozing, anal fissure of the world.
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Peta staffers need to be put down like the mad dogs they are.
When did “Hippie” become synonymous with “Mouth Breathing Retard”?
When your Mom declared herself a hippie
The first thing a self-aware groundhog robot would have to do is track down and terminate the other official state groundhogs to eliminate competition and ensure dominance. And that would be violence against animals. I’m starting to think PETA hasn’t really thought this thing through.
We should replace all the animals in the world with robots, right PETA? Robot deer can jump out in front of my car on the highway and an animated murder-bot can finally get that Trix cereal.
I so want murder bot Trix. nom nom nom
It’s too bad the animals don’t have the strength of the UAW behind them, those people hate it when things get replaced by robots.
Would they settle for replacing Phil with Michael Cera? Because that kid’s adorable. And he’s got the ability to determine what is and is not a shadow down to a T.
I got K-holed one time and watched Groundhog Day like 12 times. I think. I’m not sure. The same thing kept happening over and over, so maybe I just watched it once. Maybe it was Run Lola, Run.
Mark It Zero, I think Michael Cera would hate to be typecast, you know?
Sounds better than that January Jones documentary, Robot Beaver.
Hey Eibz! My mom was a mouth breather long before she went hippie!
Wait. That’s what you were . . . right . . . nevermind. Carry on.
Robot Beaver has a detachable rocket fist or GTFO.
Oh, you just like having my mouth open
Swi, I shall make it up to you:
Geaux Saints!!!
Nice robotic marmot.
What, no “robot beaver” jokes? Seriously?
Robot Groundhog alone is dangerous. But when he combines with 4 other robot groundhogs, Marmotron will be a planet killer.
Yeah. He has a detachable rocket fist or Get. The. Fuck. Out.
Robot Prairiedog was excited about the prospect of a remake until the studio started fiddling with the script.
First he’s in, then he’s out, then he’s back in . . .
Dancing Gopher thinks Murray is a hack.
RoboHog’s three directives are #1: Serve the public trust #2: Protect the innocent #3: Uphold the law.
And my Robotic Varmint Rifle just got here yesterday. Right on time.
*inserts skoal, hits wife*
This just makes me miss Lindsay Lohan getting out of her car pug first …*sniff*… thanks PETA.
Try Kodiak Wintergreen, MIZ. Don’t forget your spit cup.
Punxatawney P.H.I.L.
Programmable
Hibernating
Intelligent
Lifeform
Spit cups are for pussies. That’s why I have plywood floors.
Howl at the New Up.
It was filmed in Woodstock, IL.
“the oozing, anal fissure of the world.” You’re mistaking Pennsylvania for New Jersey. Pennsylvania is more of a…ok fine it sucks. But not as bad as New Jersey.
Yes, release the poor groundhog so he can immediately get crushed by one of the 18 million semi-trucks that run through this damn state every day. Because if there is one thing we need here in PA it’s another GODDAMN DEAD GROUNDHOG ON THE FUCKING ROAD. Seriously, our official state game should be “Try to avoid the bloated groundhog corpse every quarter mile!” It’s my favorite summer pastime! And trust me, it’s a game you do NOT want to lose.
We have a game similar to that in the South, except with possums instead of groundhogs.
Groundhog day was actually filmed in my birthtown, Woodstock, IL. There’s even a little plaque where he kept stepping in the puddle that says “Bill Murray stepped here.”. Its one of my favorite movies and not just because i recognize most of the locations.
also, jessica biels dad lives there if any of you are looking for a way to stalk her.