Valentine’s Day. Man. This trailer. I’m going to cover this in bullet-point form to keep me from using real ones:
- Voice over from Ashton Kutcher
- Black Eyed Peas song (We’re goin out! Let’s live it up! This movie sucks! Mazel tov!)
- Horny old people
- Well-dressed little kid in love
- A guy named Taylor kissing a girl named Taylor
- McDreamy
- Jessica Alba blonde
- Anne Hathway kissing Topher Grace
- “A day in the life of love.”
Hey, Valentine’s Day, let’s never hang out.
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This movie’s cast is like a box of chocolates. There’s some pretty good ones in there, but if you try to swallow them all at once, you’re only going to be able to taste the shitty coconut/mocha that only stupid people like.
I never thought I’d see the day where I said, “George Lopez, I expected more from you.” Oh, well.
You forgot about the part where a bunch of guys come in dressed as cops and kill everyone with tommy guns.
Who knew all of their contracts with Satan expired on the same day?
This whole movie plays when you open up Hallmark’s new Valentine’s Day “you pay extra for the corny bullshit that keeps you from having to try so hard” card. You can also get a little figurine of two pugs dressed like angels kissing for only $5.95 when you purchase two or more.
This movie is about love, actually
For the premier, single women will be able to purchase a large popcorn and coke and have it sent to them anonymously so they don’t look so goddamn lonely.
This movie has serious Oscar buzz. The Academy is asking for Julia Roberts and Jamie Foxx to give their trophies back.
So which Ashton Kutcher co-star is going to wind up dead in a few years because of this shitty movie?
It has ashton kutcher, topher grace, a guy who looks like wilmer valderrama. Where is Danny Masterson?
I liked this better when it was called Fuck That You Pay Nine Bucks to Watch That Shit I’ll Be at the Bar.
I heard Topher Grace died in the shower or something.
I’ll take a girl to see this as long as afterwards she lets me go Guy Fawkes day all over her face.
This reminds me, I need to start saving up for Valentine’s Day. Escorts aren’t cheap these days!
I was forced to see this trailer while waiting for Avatar to start. It made Avatar’s predictable plot even less predictable because of the sheer cliche’ power of the trailer.
Valentine’s Day is just like any other V.D.
You pay a shitload just to make it go away quietly.
Considering that the next Valentine’s Day is on a Saturday, I think this movie should star Jason Voorhees and should be considered another sequel.
I think it was better when it was called, “Cupid’s Cock & the B-List Funky Bunch”
*writes ‘batteries’ on shopping list*
*writes ‘battery’ on to-do list, goes to visit Chino*
*cranks Metallica’s Battery on iPod, bangs head too hard, dies…goes to visit Brittany Murphy*
*Watches ‘Batteries Not Included’ on work computer, cries when sentient tuna can mother dies, gets called a fag by coworkers*
“Anne Hathaway kissing Topher Grace” sounds like it should be the plot to Heavy Metal Lesbians
It’s like the casting director glued every single page of an People magazine to wall and gave a dart to a kid and said “Ok, you got 14 throws.”
I think I’m experiencing déjà vullshit.
Ummm… Gerald Posner is being discussed… over there.
Question me this.
This movie, fecal porn, or vomiting on your penis and masturbating.
Take your time, choose wisely.