(“IN AFRIKKA, IT’S ‘BLING BANG!’”)
Opening this weekend:
The Princess and the Frog
Disney tries to promote diversity with a 2D-animated story of a frog prince and a black girl from New Orleans, black people only reminded of that shuckin’ and jivin’ WB frog.
Invictus
Clint Eastwood directs Morgan Freeman as Nelson Mandela and Matt Damon as the captain of the South African rugby team in the story of how he killed 100 gooks with his bare hands. I’m telling you, there were dead gooks stacked as high as a gook.
Limited release:
The Lovely Bones
The book was f-cking terrible and the protagonist spends the entire movie in rape heaven. And not the sexy rape heaven you and I dream about either.
Broken Embraces
Ay cabron, another pinche Spanish movie. From Pedro Almodovar. Go see it, impress your hipster friends. Hey, you know what’s an awesome Spanish word? Cacahuates.
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Is cacahuates what you get paid in, Vince?
The Lovely Bones is what I call it when I’m double teamed by Donk and Pauly.
Is rape heaven when Andy Dick goes to jail and gets his turd nozzle savaged by a neverending train of convicts?
Fried frog legs taste like chicken.
Fried alligator tail tastes like butt sex.
I have plenty of racial understanding. I understand that crackers can’t dance, Mexicans steal, Chinese say “ching chang ding dong,” black people love fried chicken, Punjabis smell like BO… what more is there to know?
That Indians drink a lot of alcohol. Sorry, that was un-PC of me. Native Americans drink a lot of alcohol.
Oh ya, forgot about the dirty alky Injuns.
And real Indians are good at math and still have their own country.
Actually Chino, there are many American Indian groups who argue that the term “Indian” or “American Indian” is more fitting than the Native American designation they were given.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go back to studying before you start throwing things.
To avoid confusion, we should probably just start referring to them as Werewolves or, as I prefer, “Team Jacob”.
I know no one else but me here gives a fuck about Argentinian soccer, but my team, Banfield, just became champion for the first time in 113 years of profesionalism, so I`m happy and I`ll suck anyones cock or pussy if you ask for it.
Do you still have my address?
See, that’s what is wrong with America, if we had fans like that I bet a lot more people would watch*.
*Not really, American soccer blows
So yea, dibs on seconds after Chino, and no looking in my eyes, it’s creepy.
Ooooh, classymingle.CxxxxOxxxxM … sounds CLASSY! And mingle-y…
Jirish, I think the problem stems from the fact that you have three “traditional” North American games that have a three-way (hehe) monopoly (threeopoly?) on all the sporting passion: football and baseball, with ice hockey soaking up the complete nutcases. There’s not much left over for alien sports.
Although, reading FD’s Twitter, it looks like Vince is trying to make Ultimate Fighting the #1 sport in the US.
And if argent gives head even half as good as he bulk-noms my shitty comments, you guys are in for a treat.
Broken Embraces is actually really good.
Argentino, was it Newell’s Old Boys that Banfield pipped to the title? Always thought that was a cool name for a team.
Chino, I`m the master of the C.L.I.T.
Jirish, I always wanted to ask you, are you half jew half irish? If thats the case get your circumsiced lucky charm ready.
Charlie, Newell`s is the sore loser alright.
Name comes from a random inside joke about being half japanese – half irish. Only later did I find out about the other meaning. I’m actually Irish, German, and English so yea, the sun and I are not friends.