As recently leaked to YouTube, these are the end credits for the video game Rogue Warrior, which feature a catchy and profane rap performed by Mickey Rourke. You can read the full lyrics here, but suffice to say, the first line is “F-ckin’ ninja style”, and he spends a lot of it calling you a mother f-er and even a c-sucker. There’s also a line about “f-ing asses bleeding all over the place,” which is pretty gross unless you assume “asses” in this context is merely a synonym for “human beings”.
Rourke plays a Navy SEAL named Marcinko sent to North Korea to retrieve missile launchers in the game, and I’m going to assume this rap was performed in character. Otherwise, it’s too hard to square with the cuddly, slightly inappropriate uncle figure I’ve come to know and love. Unless I imagine him dancing around the living room using his dog as the microphone. Which I totally am now. He’s also tipsy and has a parrot on his shoulder. Aw, I love you, semi-fictional Mickey Rourke. Let’s pet dogs and do shots.