(Burton, Depp, and their spouses at the annual who can dress the stupidest contest.)
According to producer Graham King, Johnny Depp and Tim Burton are planning to shoot their film adaptation of Dark Shadows next September/October.
For the uninitiated, Dark Shadows ran in a daytime slot on US network ABC between 1966 and 1971, where it stretched the boundaries of the format with storylines involving time travel, supernatural creatures and its iconic central figure, vampire Barnabas Collins.
“We’ve been working on the script a lot, even though he’s working on Alice. We’ve been given a script. John August wrote the first screenplay. We’re making some changes, but the film’s going to be in production, as I say, September or October of next year.” [Empire]
Everyone in a Tim Burton movie is already so pale, I don’t know how he’s going to communicate that one of them is a vampire. He’ll probably have to do lots other vampire stuff, like bite a telepathic baby out of the womb or not f-ck his girlfriend until marriage.
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I think the vampire should be black.
Burton could get Sammy Sosa to play the part.
Is it just me, or does Vanessa Paradis’s armpit look like Hermione Grainger’s upskirt??? BRB…
*Google time*
[Crappy walks into Hollytard exec's office]
Crappy: OK, it’s Vampire Day Care! A vampire, I see Brendan Fraiser, opens a day care for toddler vampires. There is a vampire dog that can talk. The is a t-ball game with 15, count ‘em 15 nutshots. There is…
Exec: Did you say vampires? SOLD!
Nice to see Vanessa Paradis again. [www.wwtdd.com]
I was a lot more impressed with David Fincher’s Fight Club, until I realized that Helena Bonham Carter really wasn’t acting.
[Jack! walks into Hollytard exec's office]
Jack!: Chuck Norris goes undercover at at circus to expose a kidnapping ring. Tightrope Walker: Texas Ranger.
*Exec’s head explodes
Dear Tim Burton,
What the hell, man?! You used to be one of the most creative minds in Hollytardland. Beetlejuice, Edward Scissorhands, Nightmare Before Christmans melted my fucking brain! No it’s one remake and prewashed premise after another. You’re remaking Frankenweenie for fuck’s sake and that’s your own shit?! Get out of Helena’s snatch and get fresh man!
Love,
CrapDiretasticmuttbasket
Fucking Helena Bonham Carter has to be borderline necrophilia.
Anyone go to the Burton MOMA exhibit?
Grrrr Penis booze weiners
Tim Burton is doing something gothy? And Hollywood is making more vampire movies?
I couldn’t be more surprised if I woke up with my head stapled to the carpet.
“Shitter’s full!”
Too early?
Yes, actually Michelle. I found it to be a delightfully cultured experience-
I mean, who wants to go to the strippers? Amirite?
Forget culture – I just got back from the “Guidette Gets Punched” post over on WG! Holy fucking fuck!
Must. Download. Jersey. Shore. ASAP.
I think hollywood is a vampire that sucks creativity out of guys like Burton. Then shirtless ethnic werewolves ravage Jonny Depp(not in a gay way). and we just stand by biting our lip. MLINT but the film industry’s now is.