PTA & SEMEN HOFFMORE VS. JESUS
12.03.09
Paul Thomas Anderson, best known for directing three awesome movies and Magnolia, will be reteaming with probably the best actor in Hollywood, Philip Seymour Hoffman.
Anderson has written an untitled period drama [tee hee! *makes queef sound with mouth* -Ed.] that is set up at Universal. Hoffman, who has played supporting roles in most of Anderson’s past films, would this time be the centerpiece. Hoffman will play “The Master,” as in “master of ceremonies,” a charismatic intellectual who hatches a faith-based organization that begins to catch on in America in 1952. The core is the relationship between The Master and Freddie, a twenty-something drifter who becomes the leader’s lieutenant. As the faith begins to gain a fervent following, Freddie finds himself questioning the belief system he has embraced, and his mentor.
Anderson’s treatment of religion was cynical in “There Will Be Blood.” Here, the scrutiny isn’t specifically directed toward faith-based movements like Scientology or Mormonism that are newcomers compared to established religions. Anderson explores the need to believe in a higher power, the choice of which to embrace, and the point at which a belief system graduates into a religion. [BFDMemo]
I thought the most insightful thing about Anderson’s cynical treatment of religion in his last movie was the way the priest got beat to death with a bowling pin. Suck on that one, Scopes monkey trial. I’m not so much anti-religion as I am pro-movie violence, and holy God did I squeal like a schoolgirl during that scene. I don’t think I’ve ever received so many horrified looks walking out of a theater, not even when Alexis Richards let me fingerblast her during Last King of Scotland. Man, that chick was a slut, even for runaway.

This is awkward. Pauly and I have been working on our own project entitled The Masters. And it ain’t about golf.
PSH shouldn’t fuck with The Jesus…
Yeah and the Guiltless Jew (dum da da oyy) is the next superhero of the world.
He’s gonna rue the day he came up against The Jesus, baby. Bill, I’m talkin’ imminent rueage.
Consecrated wafer crackers. We crave sustenance.
Holy fuck, I feel pretentious just thinking this is a movie I’d like to see. I need to unironically drink some cheap American beer to wash the taste out of my mouth.
*sips Pabst Blue Ribbon, spits it out*
FUUUUUCK!
[Walks into room, writes on wipeboard]
Magnolia > Punch Drunk Love
[Flips off class, walks out]
Magnolia would’ve been fucking unwatchable without “respect the cock” and the frog part at the end.
Magnolia
would’ve beenwas fucking unwatchablewithout “respect the cock” and the frog part at the end.Phiksed.
Steel Magnolias > Magnolia.
Julia Roberts overacting drinking game FTW.
Ah, gettin’ stink finger at the movie theater. I remember guys in high school telling me what that was like.
[Door cracks open, arm pokes in, bird is produced, door closes]
Hey Crappy, I thought a wipe board was the toilet paper tube because you didn’t check the status before shitting.
Ah, gettin’ stink finger at the movie theater. MLIT.
Steel > Steel Magnolias
Shaq acting FTW
stinkfingers is when you put your thumb on your pooper right?
Stinkfingers would be an awesome band name.
Stinkfinger was a James Bondage villain.
James Bondage’s Stinkfinger has exactly what it takes to take care of Octopussy.
A belief system graduates into a religion when they start murdering people who
don’t believe in their beliefsthink they’re our of their fucking minds.a twenty-something drifter who becomes the leader’s lieutenant
Kind of like Robo?
Fuck! That was exhausting. Sending three emails and walking a few inter office mail folders up to reception…I’m spent.
I get alot of stink eye when I pull an Aqualung at the local park.
Depp up! To da streets!
A belief system graduates into a religion when they start murdering people who
don’t believe in their beliefsthink they’re our of their fucking minds.They’re finally making that sequel to Battlefield: Earth?