Here’s the latest promo for Entertainment Tonight’s Iron Man 2 set visit, which gives us even more split-second glimpses of Iron Man, Whiplash, Black Widow, War Machine, and that dastardly super villain, Gwyneth Paltrow. ET goes to great pains to explain that this is why they’re number one. I can’t wait to tune in! Ask:
- Questions about Robert Downey’s diet!
Learn!
- What Gwyneth Paltrow’s been doing to her hair!
See!
- A lobotomized eunuch in a sweater!
Font!
- Exciting words on the screen!
And it’s all EXCLUSIVE, so you can suck on these fat nuts, Access Hollywood! *Mary Hart grabs crotch*
[via ComingSoon]
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I hope they don’t spoil the dramatic plot twist… War Machine is repossessed.
Am I the only one that thinks Scarlett Johansson looks like shit nowadays?
Oh wait, that’s Gwynneth Paltrow.
Am I the only one that thinks Mickey Rourke looks like shit nowadays?
Oh wait, that’s Gwynneth Paltrow
True story: The other day I saw a girl in the subway who looked exactly like scarlet johanson. Couldn´t wait to jerk off.
Am I the only one that thinks Gwynneth Paltrow looks like shit nowadays?
Oh wait, no, I´m not.
So what character will Scarlett Johansson’s breasts be playing?
Wow, Riff Raff looks like shit!
Oh, wait, that’s Gwynneth Paltrow
Am I the only one who thinks I’m a trendsetter?
Oh wait, that’s Gwynneth Paltrow.They will be called ” Double D Trouble”, tag line, “more than a handful”
Pauly: You….you complete…
Girl: Awww, you complete me too.
Pauly: YOU COMPLETE BITCH!
So where does starring in a comic book movie fit into Gwyneth’s “nourish your inner aspect” credo? Is that before or after the detoxifying diamond cream?
I hope she chokes to death on a gluten free scone.
Where’s the scene where War Machine gets pulled over and questioned for suspiciously piloting a multi-million dollar battle suit?
Am I the only one that thinks Bruce Paltrow looks like shit nowadays?
Oh wait, that’s Gwyneth Paltrow.
Am I the only one that thinks Paltrow looks like a black guy in a metal suit?
Oh wait, that’s Don Cheadle. You can understand my mistake.
Paltrow could be his next sidekick. We’ll just put her in an iron maiden.
Black people be flying in armor like this…
…and white people be flying in armor like THIS…
War Machine fires his shoulder cannon sideways.
War Machine’s arc reactor has spinners.
Don Cheadle ghost rides the War Machine.
Wait, that’s Don Cheadle?
I guess they really do all look alike.
Gwyneth Paltrow calls War Machine “the help”.
Fuck, I forgot to unbold after the “do”
The ARC reactor that powers War Machine’s suit is an acronym for Always Ready for Chicken.
Gwyneth Paltrow thinks the n-word is Nordstrom’s.
War Machine: Where all the white women at?
*sees Paltrow*
War Machine: Holy fuck! Now, that’s white!
Anybody else notice at the :21 mark his forearm is gone?
guess he’ll have to automate something in the suit to jerk for him…
Gwyneth Paltrow thinks War Machine speaks in Robonics.
War Machine can’t get new parts until the first of the month.
Gwyneth Paltrow faints whenever anyone asks her to pass the jelly.
Gwyneth Paltrow employs someone specifically to lend out Grey Pupon from her limo for her.
Gwyneth Paltrow assumes War Machine joined the military as an alternative to doing time.
Tons of Gwyneth’s friends are War Machines. She swears.
War Machine refers to Whiplash as ‘Master’ or he gets a whippin’.
Gwyneth Paltrow thinks it’s odd that Terrence Howard doesn’t talk to her on set anymore.
Gwyneth Paltrow calls War Machine “Uncle Tom” because she thinks it is a compliment.
War Machine’s Kryptonite? Sickle Cell.
War Machine’s exhaust fumes reek of menthol.
Gwyneth pulls her coat just a little tighter whenever War Machine approaches her on the street.
Gwyneth thinks that black babies who can walk are called Amistoddlers.
War Machine always has enough money to buy lottery tickets, but never enough to buy gas.
Mickey Rourke was supposed to have a bigger part in the trailer, but got pulled over on the way to the edit