A new clip and character poster from Matthew Vaughn’s Kick-Ass (opens April 16) have been released. The clip shows Nic Cage performing a violent act against a girl who’s also his young child, so all in all it features a lot of my favorite things. He’s sadly not dressed like a bear while he does it, but he does fiddle with his creepy porn ‘stache.
Kick-Ass recently screened for a bunch of bloggers, and though I wasn’t there and most of us bloggers are barely-literate buffoons, the buzz is that it’s really, really good. When we online writers collectively enjoy something, they call that “buzz”, after the sound our sweatpants make when our thighs rub together as we hurriedly rush off to our mothers’ basements to type extraneous exclamation points. *eats Cheeto, complains*

[via UGO]



There’s a Roman Polanski joke here right? Quaalude…quaalude-proof vest? That vest won’t protect you from… no. No that’s very stupid. This was a bad idea. I’m sorry. My dog is very sick, I can’t…*sigh*
Hmmmmmm … why do I get the feeling there might be complaints about this clip?
Oh yeah … people are idiots.
I just gonna imagine he shot her with a four roper and leave it at that. (Until I go home and watch vid)
Getting her in your van isn’t the problem, it’s getting her out of the upholstery.
When my dog gets sick I normally get a penicillin shot and the clap clears right up.
9 punches on free clinic get one free card :)
I shot a little girl. Out of my vagina!!!
Trace evidence is a bitch, broheim.
When my dog gets sick it is because I forgot to check the expiration date on my mayo jar before I dipped my balls in it.
I shot a little girl. Down the drain!!!
I shot a few million little girls into a crusty nutrag!!
I shod a little girl. I work at Stride Rite.
[looks at modic, shrugs]
Meh.
I shot a girl and I liked it.
I shut a little girl. In my fridge.
Define “little” are we talking collectively small framed? Just a part or two? As an allusion to her age? Just looking for loopholes her folks.
I shop for little girls. On the black market.
So Nic Cage punches women, threatens old ladies at gunpoint, and shoots children.
What’s next, kicking puppies?
I also shop for fried chicken on the black market.
The black market never opens on time.
Do you think Nic chooses his roles to help him work out any “female issues” he may have?
Nah, me neither.
My wife got some sausage from the black market once. Now it is all she ever wants.
azmo -He was married to Lisa Marie Presley. That’s gotta create some questions for a dude.
R. Kelly shot a little girl with his video camera and is still free to pump out shitty music.
Heh heh… “pump”
Pump, great album.
I shot a little girl with my Canon EOS Rebel XSi Digital SLR Camera with Canon EF-S 18-55mm IS lens.
[$.50 appears in Crappy's bank account]
Shooting a little girl is the only way to silencer.
My dad would always make me take a few shots right before we played a game he liked to call ‘ifyoutellyourmotheraboutthisiwillkillyourdog’.
I shot the little girl, but I didn’t shoot the Depp, you twee.
Fuck, I blew a sphincter reaching for that one.
I blew a sphincter once. I had to brush my teeth like 5 times to get rid of the taste!
She´s not invincible but she can lick your ass.
ChinoMoreno.
My gf took me to see new moon and it was worse that when my father used his belt on my ass. MLIT
Nick Cage was pissed when he found out his child hooker was really just a 35 year old midget hooker.
It can’t have been worse than when my father used his belt sander on his scrotum.
Spaz, if you think I’m clicking the word scrotum, then you’re… well, nuts.
Yea
Hot fudge sundae? fuck that, you are getting one scoop of vanilla and that’s it… “hot fudge” tee hee. They still haven’t paid the ransom, Pauly, what’s our next move?