UPDATE: Trailer removed at the behest of some douchebag lawyers. I’m pretty sure posting a studio’s own advertisement for their movie so I can make fun of it falls clearly under fair use, but whatever, I’m not a lawyer.
The first Clash of the Titans trailer was sort of dumb and incomprehensible, a mashup of people stabbing each other and CGI bad guys set to heavy guitar, intercut with the ultimate we-assume-you’re-an-idiot-meathead tagline “TITANS. WILL. CLASH.” Gee, thanks. I’m insulted and I am an idiot meathead. Luckily they’ve corrected all that with this new trailer, which is… even more incomprehensible and meathead. Here’s the official synopsis:
Born of a god but raised as a man, Perseus (Worthington) is helpless to save his family from Hades (Fiennes), vengeful god of the underworld. With nothing left to lose, Perseus volunteers to lead a dangerous mission to defeat Hades before he can seize power from Zeus (Neeson) and unleash hell on Earth. Leading a daring band of warriors, Perseus sets off on a perilous journey deep into forbidden worlds. Battling unholy demons and fearsome beasts, he will only survive if he can accept his power as a god, defy his fate and create his own destiny.
The tagline in this one is DAMN. THE. GODS., but this movie is so dumb that when I saw “DAMN” I half expected it to be “DAMN. THIS. LOOKS. HELLA SICK.” or “DAMN. BROSEPH. EXPLOSIONS.”
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Argonauts did it.
THIS. IS. DERIVATIVE.
*kicks enemy soldier into random yet conveniently-placed death pit*
DAMN. THAT. RIVER.
Zeus could easily defeat Hades with a simple skiing trip.
Soooo…the Krakken is one of the trolls from LOTR?
Finally:
BUBO. OR. GTFO.
medusa goes to jail
THESE PRETZELS. ARE MAKING. ME THIRSTY.
/Seinfel’d
I would totally be there opening day if Zeus and Hades were played by ZZ Top.
OMG(s)
Hey. They advertised Gladiator with a Kid Rock song. For all we know this coul…ah fuck it.
Norse Gods dance like this (sways hips side to side) where Greek Gods dance like this (hip thrusts)
Michael Richards also said “release the cracker”
His Perseus doesn’t match his Zeus
And Sam Worthington is suddenly a superstar because why now?
If this doesn’t give birth to the porn parody, “Clash of the Tight Teens” I’ll be really disappointed.
It’s about time Mannheim Steamroller got some respect from the film industry.
Based on that hideous armor getup Sam Worthington is wearing I’d say it’s already Hell on Earth
*right hand goes limp*
In related news, the Renaissance Art Channel has a new special on the Clash of the Titians. The promo featured Nickelback.
At this rate, Sam Worthington will be on a poster with Kate Hudson by Valentine’s Day.
At this rate, Sam Worthington will be on a poster with Kate Hudson’s severed head by Valentine’s Day.
FEKSED!
I’d like to see Sam Worthington on this poster.
*points to self*
The promo featured Nickelback.
Because when I think Greek mythology, I think Nickelback.
Friedberg and Seltzer already have the Medusa stone/stoned joke prepped.
QAPLAH!
Needs curtains though, bit too… windowy;
http://failblog.org/2009/12/14/candy-man-fail/#comments
At 1:23, does anyone else see eyeless creatures using their hands to see? (aka. one of the best scenes in Pan’s Labyrinth)
You ever see that movie clash of the titans?
i dont wanna sound like a fag or nothing, but i think unicorns kick ass
Wow, I didn’t know Avid comes with a ‘Frappe’ setting…
Van Helsing B.C.
‘Release the Kraken’ is code among my friends and I for taking a dump.
True story.
Yea