Paramount just released the newest Iron Man 2 poster, featuring Mickey Rourke as Whiplash, aka Ivan Vanko. He’s basically a Russian guy who also built an Iron-Man-style suit, only his doesn’t have a helmet or any protective gear, because as we all know, Russians have as little regard for their own safety as they do yours. Plus you can’t get a vodka bottle inside an Iron Man mask. And it would’ve made it hard for Mickey Rourke’s parrot to recognize him. As for the whips, those are to defend from his arch nemesis, your mom.
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I gotta imagine there was a bit of a fight with costume design over whether whiplash really needed to be wearing his arc-reactor suit-powery-thingy in the middle of his chest or whether he could place it lower.
Two posters a week until May, right?
I don’t mean to beat a dead Sarah Jessica Parker, but guess which Sex and the City Actress sells a brand of mascara also called Whiplash?
Robin Williams often checks into hotels under the name Rickey Mork.
If those things don’t make lightsaber sounds, the fanboys might riot*!
*blog angrily and snarky
White Russians usually don’t pack that much sting.
FIGHTS TWO DEMONS!!!
Where’s his neck brace?
Ghost Rider the whips?
I look forward to the youtube video where some idiot glues 100 sparklers to a jump rope and severely hurts himself trying to be Whiplash.
If there was a superhero named Toby, Whiplash would be his arch-enemy.
When does ScarJo get a poster? Because I have a feeling that hers will be focused on the chest, too.
Does this count as reparations if we have a large angry guy whipping a rich white dude?
http://img187.imageshack.us/img187/2431/disappointwhip.jpg
(work safe)
Whiplash just wants Tony to change his name to Toby, then he could chill the fuck out.
I hope Scarlett Johansson get in a tussle with Rourke. This isn’t the first time I’ve imagined Cool Whips on that broad.
Can Mickey Rourke do a good Russian accent or is he just going to sound like he’s out plotting big trouble for moose and squirrel?
They are releasing so many posters for this movie that if you put them together they make a flip book of the entire film.
Wow, my dick is fucking killing me.
Devo as Whiplash’s theme music or GTFO.
Ya, sorry ’bout that, J!. Sorta a posty comment before ready comment thingy there. But I like your taste in racist jokes!
Coincidentally, my dick is filling you.
My dick is getting more action than Tiger Woods lately.
Too bad I don’t have a foot fetish.
I thought Iron Man was steampunk fetish porn. **sigh**
Hey Jack! I just got a text from your dick asking me to meet him at the Marriott Courtyard for an evening of missionary with the lights off.
Did he introduce himself as “I am Jack’s Dick”, Chino?
If so, I’d be on the lookout for a bunch of guys wearing all black who are unwilling to talk about Project Mayhem.
Yeah. And after I declined, I got a text from Jack!’s broken heart.
Heart, nothing. My testicle just ruptured.
I can’t wait to see Mickey show off his whips on MTV Cribs.
The only thing whiplash more than Iron Man is shampoo.
whiplash ^hates^ more
Oh nevermind.
I got whiplash from getting hit hard from the rear.
If Whiplash flogged Omar Epps would that make him the House Minority Whip?
No! Fucking! Way!
:: slow clap for Crappy ::
Whiplash is no match for Sarah Jessica Parker because every time he hits her she just keeps getting faster.
I got whiplash from trying to suck my own dick.
Jack! got whiplash from me stepping on his dick.
Thanks swi, I was rather shocked by that myself.
Isn’t whiplash sort of redundant? Like strikepunch, or twatsnatch?
I just tried to make my own whips out of those benadable white christmas light tubes and an extension chord.
Totally fucked up my cat.
True story.
I just
tried to make my own whips out of those benadable white christmas light tubes and an extension chord.Totally fucked
up myyour cat.True story.
And how the hell do I show up the next morning and the House Minority Whip comment isn’t nommed yet?
I can’t really believe Mickey Rourke as a character named whiplash. I can, however, see him playing a character named ‘shakin baby syndrome’.
Whiskey Tango Foxtrot Nommy? Is today a holiday or something? Was there a Drunkcon last night to which we weren’t invited?
Is it my breaff?
Nah, I dropped dime on all those fools. They’re all probably trying to find bail money is my assumption.
Since no one is around, I think I’m gonna swipe the screen out of the bathroom faucet.
I forgot this site is run by Vince Mansteini.