For the last five or ten years, Hollywood’s been doing this thing where they take a successful foreign movie and remake it in English for people too dumb to read. Death at a Funeral is the latest twist on that concept, in which they took a film that was already in English and remade it for black people. Chris Rock is producing, and he hopes it will be at least as popular as the time they remade Stomp the Yard for white people. Stomp, I believe it was called.
[via IMPA]
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I was gonna make a comment like “Just like with Asians, apparently all dwarves look alike to me.” Then I realized: Peter Dinklage plays the dwarf in both movies. Who’s a bigot now, hollywood? You can’t find more dwarves? I can, just look in my sex dungeon. They are in a cage next to the Asians.
So…is Martin Lawrence gets buttfucked in that poster, or what?
Over/Under 8 on Dog reaction shots? I’m going with the Under: 7
I’m too old for this shit.
Why is Danny Glover in a wheel chair and carrying a cane? Okay, we get it, he’s the old man character. Why not have him hooked up to oxygen, a colostomy bag, and have pudding smeared all over his face too?
For Fek:
Tiger’ish discovers masturbation.
One day, a few months into the year, my then girlfriend-now-wife and I made the tactical error of returning to my room when we knew Tiger’ish would be there. As was habit for my dorm, whenever entering a dorm room, you make a lot of noise and take longer than you should, to give whomever time to stop doing whatever. We followed protocol and entered to find T kneeling before his computer, furiously stroking away. A normal person would stop -he didn’t, of course. My girlfriend just sat on my bed in stunned silence, I carefully said, “Um, dude?” and he replied “HAVE YOU TRIED THIS?” Right then, he finished in an amazing display of rope-tossing that only an 18-year-old who’d never before come could release. And release he did. All over his monitor. Which was off. It was only at this point that I noticed he was jerking off to a turned-off monitor, and probably to his own fish-eyed reflection. He turned to me, dick limply in hand, and said “Can I borrow a shirt?” My wife will confirm this story. For more Tiger’ish tales, check the McG thread from today and pick a title.
IMDB says this was directed by Neil “Wicker Man Re-make” LaBute. I’m kind of interested in seeing it now.
@orton, Please don’t tell the Ultra-Donkey one… I was young and needed the money.
I was going to try masturbation in college, but once my boyfriend assured me that girls can’t orgasm, I kinda felt like what’s the point, you know?
Listen, Ebonics isn’t a language until Rosetta Stone makes a program for it. End. Of. Story.
Does Ultra Donkey still exist? I haven’t dared find out since we stopped being roommates.
I just Tigrished my work desk from reading that.
BTK, Mort, you need to get a free blog and write all of these stories. Period.
Fek -recommend a blog site, I’ll post some and comment here when they’re up, then you can check at your convenience.
Blogspot, baby!
When will Hollywood learn? The only movies we want to see a black version of are Cuba Gooding Jr. films.
I think the white version of ‘Stomp the Yard’ was called ‘School Ties’.
Fek -Problem: blogspot prohibits content relating to Bestiality (Tiger’ish and the Ultra Donkey.) I might do it anyway, I need to think about it.
I think it’s nice that they were all granted temporary release to attend the funeral.
I just hope that it is Tyler Perry in the coffin.
I’m just relieved it’s not called Russell Simmons’ Def at a Funeral
I think the PC title is “Def at a Funeral”.
Fucking shit, Donk. I wait a couple minutes to re-word and proof read and it get’s me no where.
Anyways, I give Chris Rock credit for at least wrapping up production ’cause everyone knows black people would be late to their own funeral.
Is that the guy who plays Stifler’s cousin in the Direct-to-DVD American Pies?
Holy fuck, Morty! Grow a pair! They never have said word one with all the crazy messed up shit on my blog, unless you have a graphic depiction of Tigerish literally fucking a donkey, you are fine. Fuck, even if you do, give ME the picture and I will post it.
Seriously, it has to be BAD for Blogspot to notice. Bad.
Fair enough -it might not be today, but I’ll post when there’s something to see.
Also, I was gonna change my avatar to Tiger’ish, but the system won’t let me. It changes the picture, but not the thumbnail.
Here is a fucking sampling of my posts. Blogspot has never contacted me once:
http://dirtyhairy.blogspot.com/2007/08/3rd-and-4th-place.html
http://dirtyhairy.blogspot.com/2007/08/two-tied-for-first.html
http://dirtyhairy.blogspot.com/2007/08/ben-affleck-yiff-fic-in-its-entirety.html
http://dirtyhairy.blogspot.com/2008/02/dream-clown-hick-pedophile-kidnapper.html
http://dirtyhairy.blogspot.com/2008/02/guest-commentary-mighty-feklhrs-snuff.html
http://dirtyhairy.blogspot.com/2008/04/arooga-gremlin.html
Wait, did no one actually see that they used the same dwarf? at least get another dwarf!
Spoiler Alert:
Tracy Morgan gets Peter Dinklage pregnant.