Sorry I don’t have a prize to give away this week, folks. You’ll just have to settle for a picture of this awesome puppy. Anyway, read on for last week’s best comments. As always, nominate for next week in the comments section below.
I’m putting the winner at the end, but let’s start with a close runner up.
[From first pic from new Harry Potter] Morton Salt says: In my day, a “ginny weasley” was when you took a ginger kid, pulled out a clump of their god-forsaken hair, shoved it in their mouth and then punched them in the stomach.
[From Iron Man & War Machine] Bubb Rubb says: The Rhodey character in the series will be defined by ascending darkness. So it’ll be Djimon Hounsou in the third one, and he’s gonna be a reeeeaaaall dick.[From the last Twilight book is insane and features a c-section via vampire teeth] Crapbasket says: Jacob isn’t the real story here, Edward already ate that baby out.
Burnsy says:
*catches breath*
Anybody else beat off to that?[From Casting-Couch rape] Burnsy says: TLC just purchased the rights for “Help I’m Trying To Be A Celebrity But I’m Being Raped, Get Me Out Of Here.”
[From the 10 most depressing My Life is Twilight entries] ChinoMoreno says: Unlike Bella, my womb has never been felt. MLIT
Burnsy says: Last night I used a broomstick to hold up my second and third folds while I flicked my bean and screamed Edward’s name. MLIT
NATHAn Implosion says: I just spent 30 seconds calculating the area under a curve. MIT.
[From Anthony Michael Hall bit his ex-girlfriend's face] Pauly Dangerously says : Ohh, ohh here he comes…
Watch out girl, he’ll chew you up.Stinky Peet says: My boyfriend is super-aggressive, shows up unannounced in the middle of the night, and is always trying to bite me. MLIT
Donkey Hodey says: Anthony Michael Hall has no idea how eskimo kisses work.
[From the 40 Year Old Virgin Who Knocked Up Sarah Marshall and Felt Superbad About It] Spazmodic: I feel like someone just kicked me in the nuts while scratching all my records.
[From Tayler Lautner to play Max Steel] Påüłÿ Ðąηgęrσűşľγ says: Everytime I put on a skimask, I turn into Mex Steal.
[From Sam Raimi hires guy from Uruguay] Watanabex says: you know how i know Uruguay? ’cause you hosted the first ever FIFA world cup in 1930. BOOOOOOSH
[Upon failing to win the Snatch Blu-Ray package] First Class Male: *throws glass of scotch against majestic fireplace*
[From Sex and the City 2] ChinoMoreno says:
Samantha: Sweetie, you’ve really gotta do something about that old, dirty clam of yours
SJP: You’re right. Here, stand behind me.
*SJP kicks Samantha down elevator shaft, eats carrot*
Jacktion! says: I’m surprised she still gets work after what she did to Christoper Reeve.
And finally, the winner. I had to go with a noob this week, because there was just something genius about this comment on the Tarantino talking dog Japanese commercial. Dee93 says:
whose talking doggy is this?
it’s not a talking doggy, baby, it’s a talking puppy.
whose talking puppy is this?
Well done this week, everyone.


You should start giving away puppies. We’re all very well qualified to raise living creatures.
I already have a raised living creature…
*points to his erection in a snake costume*
Is that a boy puppy or a girl puppy? I’m trying to gauge how ashamed I should be of my arousal.
Yay, puppies!!!!
The world would be a better place if, after reporting bad news, the media just showed pictures of adorable baby animals to soften the blow.
Puppy go poo poos? Oh yes indeedy!
Oddly I just spent the weekend making fun of one of my buddies for being a dog-fucker, and here’s Vince posting pics of an adorable puppy. Weird.
Thanks, Vinnie. On a day that I have so much work to catch up on, I’m scouring Petfinder for a new dog. Asshole.
*throws another glass of bourbon against wall…of mounted big game* Hooray! Shit, I’m out of glasses.
FUCK YOU GUYS!
http://filmdrunk.uproxx.com/2009/12/mcg-plans-more-terminators-still-an-idiot
Fek’lhr says:
7:11-McG pounds a Mt. Dew Slurpee
http://filmdrunk.uproxx.com/2009/12/wow-underground-plane-fight-club
Michelle07 Michelle Rodriguez will be flying the bi-plane
Pauly: I want you to shoot me in the wing as hard as you can.
http://filmdrunk.uproxx.com/2009/12/wow-underground-plane-fight-club#comments
Påüłÿ Ðąηgęrσűşľγ says:
…starring Cock Pitt.
http://filmdrunk.uproxx.com/2009/12/more-fun-with-ads-on-twilight-sites#comments
Michelle07:
“Are you Twi-ing too hard to get into your pants?”
actually I don’t think anyone is trying to get in their pants.
http://filmdrunk.uproxx.com/2009/12/the-final-frame-of-old-dogs?cp=1
DeFrank:
John Travolta would be the only one smiling if those other people knew how that baby was being held up.
http://filmdrunk.uproxx.com/2009/12/finnish-people-hunt-killer-santa-clauses?cp=2
Jacktion! might have hurt himself stretching for this, but I’ll be fucked if it didn’t make me laugh:
If you’re going to go to a reindeer Christmas party, I recommend a Rudolph party.
My friend went to a Donner party, and he never came back.
http://filmdrunk.uproxx.com/2009/12/my-fart-will-go-on?cp=1#comment-233330
MIZ Drives this one into the great blue beyond:
I still think Eiffel 65 should’ve had this one locked.
Wow, seconding Jacktion!’s Donner party from last night.
http://filmdrunk.uproxx.com/2009/12/lana-wachowski-is-lookin-great#comments
Donkey Hodey says:
I think it’s pretty fitting that he chose a girl’s name that, when reversed, spells out “Anal”.
Seconding Senor Donke’
http://filmdrunk.uproxx.com/2009/12/malkovich-hathaway-spider-man-villains
Patty Boots says:
The prospect of John Malkovich yelling insults at Tobey Maguire for two hours is delightful.
http://filmdrunk.uproxx.com/2009/12/malkovich-hathaway-spider-man-villains
Donkey Hodey says:
The theme song for this one will be ‘Carrion My Wayward Son’.
Crappy just curbstomped what’s left of my liver to Bolivia.
http://filmdrunk.uproxx.com/2009/12/fred-sharon-on-tiger-woods#comments
Crapbasket says:
ThatswhatI’mtalkinbout, Fek!! So I tells him, “The mix is added just for color ya twat! Just cuz your girlfriend didn’t go to college and therefore can’t drink for shit doesn’t mean you gotta fag out on the margies! Sack up toolbag and make her her own, don’t punish the rest of us with your weak ass pussy leak shitnecked pitchers of mix with a splash of worm juice! CUNT!”
http://filmdrunk.uproxx.com/2009/12/steve-buscemi-sarah-silverman-a-dwarf#comments
Fek
If Danny Trejo and Sarah Silverman made a baby, it would haggle the price for a bag of oranges.
PaulyD, same post as above:
If Danny Trejo and Michelle Rodriguez made a baby, it would be so hardcore and Latin that it would send you letters from the inside saying that he’ll be out in a couple of months and send it with pictures of him posing against the wall.
Thanks Peet.
Same thread.
Donk
If Peter Dinklage and Michelle Rodriguez made a baby, it would have a short temper..
second Pauly’s letter from the inside, and Donk’s Anal Lana.
I’d love to go fourth on Donk’s anal… but what have we here???
(can’t believe I just spent twenty minutes looking for that…)
I love the ‘Recent Comments’ function.
http://filmdrunk.uproxx.com/2009/04/new-moon-wolf-pack-shirtless-indians?cp=2
sarcasm_4_fun says:
Wow you people are pathetic, probably sitting alone at your computers pale as fuck! and fat to boot, gunning down these tanned and obviously fit young hot men. Remember when you point a finger at some one else there are 3 pointing back at you, so I’m guessing that you are the ones that are actually imagining being on some guys totem pole (be sure not to slide you’ll sliver, lol) all while you’re chugging down 1 beer.. two beers… & become three little losers, lol yes i noticed that there are 3 of you that are making all the alcoholic and pole sliding comments, what a bunch of jealous losers you are. These young men are simply people with morales and values like most decent human beings which is obviouly more personality that you 3 will ever have. Cheers! slug down another drink and I hope you all choke on it, that is if you don’t already choke on that pole you have in your mouth…. or is that your ass!!!! lmao can’t tell the difference from my safe distance, lol Have a nice day! Assholes!!!
These young men are simply people with morales…
The kidnapped morales? Was it Esai Morales? I LOVED him in La Bamba.
There are never 3 fingers pointing back at me. I’m too fat to close my hand.
A Twihard calling other people fat? I’ve officially seen it all.
Not to mention “pathetic” and “pale”, Patty.
Stupid lamb.
Well, I am pale. But I’m not fat. And only slightly pathetic.
Uhh… sorry about the two-week dickstep, Spaz?
That’s cool, Donk. If anyone’s gonna step on my dick and take my anal, I’m happy it’s you.
In a totally hetero way, of course.
God I wish I could see what that chick Googled to get her to that post. 10 bucks it had something to do with shirtless natives.
*quickly closes browser*
Hehe….who would google a thing like that?!
Also, when I point at people while holding this twinkie, there are three fingers pointing at a wall. That chick is stupid.
http://filmdrunk.uproxx.com/2009/12/bad-accents-in-movies#comments
Pauly with
I compare those UGG boots or Old Navy’s Adora Boot to the boots Lloyd Christmas wore jumping out of that Lamborghini.
http://filmdrunk.uproxx.com/2009/12/i-want-to-f-you-with-a-cobra#comments
I get to skip the line to hell for ROFLing
Isn’t she supposed to have her hands over her mouth in that picture?
*removes pointy hat, folds robe*
I’ll second Bubb Rubb’s last nom and point out it was Burnsy who said it.
Thanks, hombre. It’s a Wild Turkey morning. While I’m here I’ll give it up to MIZ for his Rachel True comment:
Reached for comment, Trent Reznor said “You’re doing it wron- alright, that’s pretty close actually” then went back to painting his eyelids.
Even if it was a mild dick-step. My bad, Donk.
Ain’t no way Vinnie’s gonna let my comment fly, at least when he’s done punching that girl from Jersey Shore.
Spaz should get a prize for finding that. Just sayin’.
http://bit.ly/4weAvy
Immortal 9:
Horatio Caine: So what do we got here?
Medical Examiner: The victim was violated by a Cobra snake.
Horation Caine: Now thats what I call *puts on sunglasses* a hiss-terectomy.
YEAAHHHHHHHHHH!
http://filmdrunk.uproxx.com/2009/12/sandler-aniston-together-in-cinematic-poison#comments
Oh my NoMo:
The main difference between a pretend wife and a real wife is that the pretend wife still gives blowjobs.
http://filmdrunk.uproxx.com/2009/12/omg-omg-tron-legacy-has-a-poster?cp=1#comment-233711
I give Donk a well-deserved reach-around with:
I’ll see this ten times if he uses the Microsoft Paperclip to help him pick a lock in the computer world.
Big second to Donk
Third Donk, and second Immortal 9′s hissterectomy.
http://filmdrunk.uproxx.com/2009/12/omg-omg-tron-legacy-has-a-poster?cp=1#comment-233728
Spazmodic shti the bed and steals my heart;
Easter egg: if you freeze frame at a certain point in the bike race, you’ll see John Hodgman laying a brick on Justin Long’s bloody corpse.
Second azmod
Bonus points for not putting an e in Hodgman’s name.
I’d nom Immortal’s hissterectomy, but I said it first. His comment was better, sure, but I’m grudgy like that.
http://filmdrunk.uproxx.com/2009/12/naughty-angels-are-the-new-abstinent-vampires#comments
Mark It Zero says:
A whole series about foursomes? Awesome. Hmmm? Tome? Who the fuck says “Tome” anymore? Well la ti da, mi lady. Thou wishist to procure knowledge from thine tome?
Take them to the Iron Maiden.
*air guitar*
http://filmdrunk.uproxx.com/2009/12/new-avatar-clips-the-naavi-are-hipsters-now#comments
Donkey Hodey says:
Hipster Na’avi women are sad because dolphin tattoos don’t show up on their ankles.
SJP Thread.
Påüłÿ Ðąηgęrσűşľγ says:
She’s wearing neighviators.
Seconding Quickdraw Chareths nom of Pauly’s Neighviators.
I was pretty proud of my ‘blinders’ comment until I read Pauly’s Neighviators quote. Third.
http://filmdrunk.uproxx.com/2009/12/naughty-angels-are-the-new-abstinent-vampires
Stoney makes me open a new tab to nom;
Producer 1: “We need to find a new type of character that’s not a vampire, but that has all their mystique.”
Producer 2: “Yeah, remember how popular that Joss Whedon character ‘Angel’ was? He had it all.”
Producer 1: “What did you just say?”
Producer 2: “Angel had it all.”
Producer 1: “Holy Fuck – are you thinking what I’m thinking?”
Producer 2: “I hope so – I’ve wanted to suck your dick for MONTHS now…”
Producer 1: “No, fag – ANGELS! MOTHER FUCKING ANGELS!”
http://filmdrunk.uproxx.com/2009/12/lynch-discusses-meeting-lucas-return-of-the-jedi
Im in a good mood so Ima be aaaalllll nom happy today. Donk lols me with;
I had to go to this building in LA first and had to get a special credit card, and a special key, and a letter came, and a map.
A letter came? That’s gross. I bet it was the letter O, that perverted vowel is always coming.
From Mickey Rourke
KicksWhips Ass recognize the brilliance that is Dire-crap-mutt-tastic –If Whiplash flogged Omar Epps would that make him the House Minority Whip?
twilight plus size
UpstateUnderdog says:
Torrid shoppers wash themselves with an Ed Hardy shirt on a stick.
-AND-
Donkey Hodey says:
Somebody should tell them that torrid is not the proper past-tense of what matadors yell at them.
finnish santa hunters
Jacktion! says:
Right before they kill a Santa, a mysterious voice yells “FINNISH HIM!”
Saint John
Pauly says:
If Danny Trejo and Michelle Rodriguez made a baby, it would be so hardcore and Latin that it would perform the C-section from the inside.
cries after Star Wars
ChinoMoreno says:
I think she’s crying because she can’t see the television from the kitchen.