Oh man. After the jump, I’ve got the red-band trailer for Matthew Vaughn’s Kick-Ass, and I think I’m in love. It features then 11-year-old Chloe Moretz as foul-mouthed Hit-Girl, who’s fond of using the F and C words. Hey, I love the C word! And 11-year-olds!
Kick-Ass tells the story of average teenager Dave Lizewski (Aaron Johnson), a comic-book fanboy who decides to become a real-life superhero. He chooses a new name — Kick-Ass — assembles a suit and mask to wear, and gets to work fighting crime. There’s only one problem: Kick-Ass has no superpowers. His life changes forever as he inspires a subculture of copy cats, is hunted by assorted unpleasant characters, and meets up with the Red Mist (Christopher Mintz-Plasse) and a pair of crazed vigilantes, including an 11-year-old sword-wielding dynamo, Hit Girl (Chloe Moretz) and her father, Big Daddy (Nicolas Cage). [IGN]
It also features her shooting bad guys through another bad guy’s mouth, severed limbs, and instead of a sh-tty rap rock soundtrack, we get The Dickies covering the Banana Splits theme. See? This is what happens when you don’t let a studio f-ck up your idea. Nic Cage’s forehead skin even seems like it’s loosening to near-normal levels. It’s a Christmas miracle!
Here’s the YouTube version, which will probably get pulled fairly quickly.
Here’s the version that premiered on IGN — it has an age gate as required by the MPAA and these things never work right, but I used the address on my driver’s license and it seemed to work.
If all else fails, you can watch it over at Empire.
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Lemme get this straight. An eleven year old girl can run around saying f@(k and c@&t and killing bad guys in a skin tight jumpsuit but I gotta be over eighteen to watch it?
And they call me a perv?
See? This is what happens when you don’t let a studio f-ck up your idea.
You know, you’re going to have to see this in theaters 50 times to make studios think this is a good idea. Also, you’re going to be surrounded by the type of people who couldn’t wait for Boondock Saints 2.
Apparently, you only ever have to suffer for good art.
Banana effin’ Splits theme song ? What did I say about childhood trauma ? Gonna’ need a paper bag…
That trailer made me so happy I’m almost in tears.
Anyone have any ideas how i can explain away this penis shaped whole in the middle of my monitor?
My brain just ejaculated
Who is responsible for this movie? I want to shake their hand with a vagina that makes gold bars and put on some bacon flavored chapstick and kiss them gently on the mouth.
I can’t believe I’m actually excited for a Nic Cage role. I mean, I gotta go back to watching Raising Arizona for the first time.
Lohan, I can understand her fucking up, she’s a female. There’s just no excuse for Cage’s latest career decisions.
*hole even..
wtf is wrong with me.
@MartinLawrence
It’s called “all of the blood in your brain just emptied out”
Oh, and that whole reloading the clips floating in mid-air thing? Don’t do it. I mean, I can do it, but I wouldn’t recommend it to anyone lesser.
*spins in office chair, fires Airsoft gun, ricochet hits eye*
oh shit that was awesome
No doubt Eckha, may have to pull up my emergency Sarah Jessica Parker pictures to cull my erection.
I’m surprised you need a picture of her, just hearing the words “Sarah Jessica Parker” sends shivers down my urethra
Am I the only one who thinks this looks a lot like Shoot ‘Em Up with Clive Owen? You know, a movie with silly over-the-top action that looked like it was going to be fucking awesome and turned out to suck balls?
Oh Jesus, anthony went there. I just hope he’s wrong. Paul Giammati was a terrible Yosemite Sam.
Clive Owen cursing and killing people = lame
11-year olds cursing and killing people = awesome
Q.E.D.
I did think it looked sorta like Shoot Em Up, but I also sorta liked Shoot Em Up.
Am I gonna be the only one to stick up for Shoot Em Up? Seriously?
Oh, nevermind then. Carry on.
If this is even half as awesome as it looks, Matthew Vaughn will be a 3-0 director in my book.
And he’s pretty much the only guy to ever make serious changes to the source material (Stardust) and come up with an even better movie.
Donkey, I hope I’m wrong, too. All I could think about was Clive Owen shooting the merry-go-round… and Paul Giamatti being creepy.
Oh, I liked Shoot ‘Em Up too!
Because it was just Clive Owen being badass. *swoon*
It’s no coincidence that reloading hand guns in clever ways means a film is awesome:
1) Equilibrium
2) Any Chow Yun Fat film which didn’t involve an American studio.
Okay, enough negativity from me for today… it looks like a silly movie, but: I’m still gonna see it. Probably twice.
Okay, enough negativity from me for today
You ain’t from ’round these parts, are you?
*spittoon dings*
It’s like I don’t even know you gays anymore. ‘Shoot ‘em Up’ was fucking terrible, even if you’re looking at it as a spoof of the genre, it’s goddamn awful.
Also, Shoot Em Up had an unproven director, whereas Matthew Vaughn did Layer Cake.
Words can’t describe how happy this trailer made me you cuntfuckers.
Next person to talk about ‘Shoot ‘em Up’: I’ma SNOOKIE you!
I’d just like to point out that that little girl has a wicked boxcutter kick.
This movie is going to be bad ass. What the hell is with nic cage and making stuff I can’t help but want to see, recently?
So anyone besides me a big enough nerd to have actually read the series so far? I think not reading it will actually make this movie 100 times better in terms of shock value.
Awesome trailer, so ready to see this already. Hit-Girl is badass, but she may be retarded too. I mean does anyone else think that her hand is bigger than her face?
Shoot em up was supposed to be corny. They were making fun of meat head american ‘action’ films.