(This is the actual final frame of Old Dogs. This scene should have chalk around it.)
Seeing the promos for Old Dogs was like watching Hollywood rape a child on film and then try to sell tickets for it, but they say the Lord works in mysterious ways. You see, last week, the failure/embarrassment of Old Dogs led new Disney chief Rich Ross to pull the plug on Robin Williams’ equally horrendous sounding Wedding Banned. Less than a week later, Variety reports that Wild Hogs 2: Bachelor Ride has also been Rich Ross’d. I’m starting to like this guy.
The Touchstone pictures sequel to the 2007 hit was revving up to begin production by next summer, with Walt Becker back as director, and John Travolta, Tim Allen, Martin Lawrence, and William H. Macy reprising their roles.
…new writers were in the process of being hired. That ended this week, when word came down that the picture wasn’t going to get made.
The timing of the move follows Disney’s release of the Becker-directed Old Dogs. The comedy was trounced by critics and did not score at the box office.
Though Old Dogs was a disappointment, it wasn’t exactly a bomb ($40 mil on a $35 mil production budget, so far). Killing a movie from the same director with the same star is a smart, though fairly easy business decision. What’d be even cooler is if he did it not only because it was a money loser, but because he was actually ashamed of his company making money off a sub-par product, instead of just shrugging his shoulders and saying “I dunno, I guess people like sh-t sandwiches.” What a concept.



Killing a movie from the same director with the same star is a smart, though fairly easy business decision.
An even smarter, easier business decision is just to kill the director and the star.
The Mighty Feklahr stopped eating shit sandwiches after He got Pink Eye.
Seeing the promos for Old Dogs was like watching Hollywood rape a child on film and then try to sell tickets for it
I’m pretty sure that a child rape scene would score higher with test audiences than the Old Dogs promo
Fek, stop getting your shit sandwiches cooked rare and you should be alright
You got shit in my sandwich! No, you got sandwich in my shit!
Glenn, don’t you remember Trenita? There’s no way the old dogs promo would score lower than a child rape scene. In fact, the only way old dogs could have scored higher was if they added a slide whistle to the nut shot.
When I was a little kid, my older brothers would steal taco shells from the corner store, put dog shit in them and cover it with grass. They forced me to eat these “grass tacos” until I threw up. No joke there, but post about dogs + shit eating = 4 more years of therapy for ol’ Morton.
[bennyhillifier.com]
This isn’t going to stop John Travolta from riding hog.
I treat the news that Hollywood can actually learn the same as I’d treat the news that robots can learn. Sheer. Abject. Terror.
Mort, I FUCKING LOVE GRASS TACOS!
Mort-The Mighty Feklahr thinks you would feel better if you blogged about Tigerish.
Having failed with Old Dogs and Wild Hogs Travolta must now resort to playing Decomposing Roadkill
Fek, I’m on it…just deciding which anecdote to share next.
Mort, we used to call those “Stinky Chalupas.” And, we handed ‘em out in college to inebriated folks.
In fact, the only way old dogs could have scored higher was if they added a slide whistle to the nut shot.
Or if Nine Inch Nails did the soundtrack
I’m sorry, but I can’t like Rich Ross just yet. Giving credit to a movie executive for doing something right is like high-fiving Polanski for having consensual sex with a woman who’s of age.
Lesbians
upwet? Is that the direct correlary? Moist then?God I miss trenita.