HOW BOUT GUID-NO.
12.01.09This is the final theatrical trailer for Rob Marshall’s Nine, exhorting you one last time to “be Italian” before its release on Christmas Day. Luckily I’m already Italian, so I can grab my crotch and tell this trailer to “get lost” while thanking God I don’t have to post any more trailers about a guy who’s so cool that he’s “wearin’ shades in the middle of the night.” If wearin sunglasses at night is cool, peeing your pants is Miles Davis. Wait, what?
Anyway, it looks like there might be a good movie in there somewhere, but that music makes me want to cut off my ears and eat them.
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Blind people are the fucking COOLEST!
pshhh… I prefer to ‘Be Dutch’
*takes bong hit, clomps down hallway in wooden clogs*
I haven’t seen a movie that looked like so much Oscar bait since that one about the retarded slave who overcame adversity and racism to become a successful musician. It was called This Is It.
Which ethnic background is Maria Caprialoriatelli?
A. Finninsh
B. Italian
C. Laplander
Why did they put Fergie in this? Was it because Judi Dench demanded a co-star who made her look young?
Here’s hoping that “Guido” ends each song and dance by beating someone to death with a bowling pin.
I didn’t know Randy Newman’s wife did the soundtrack.
I just wear my FBI (full blodded Italian) t-shirt when I want to be Italian, that or eat capicola by the pound and have my wife yell at me.
Is the music in this film all doo wop?
Fergie is a fucking dude, people.
Sophie Loren is the only Ital in this movie? Fuck that, I’m going to watch MTV’s Jersey Shore for some real Italians.
Ex-wife, staff. Olivia married Elton John a few years later.
Crapbasket is right. Fergie is a dude. Was Lady Ga Ga not available for this movie?
When I want to be Italian, I know it’s time to take my meds.
I’m gonna reference my mostly German heritage and say my response to this movie is “Nein.”
When I want to be Italian, I play Super Mario Brothers.
I’m honest when I say that I hope someone will mash up this trailer with one from District 9. And maybe that cartoon 9, about the little voodoo doll or whatever it was.
Ima go with my Irish heritage, get drunk, and punch this movie in the neck.
Uuuummmm, yeah, so… How ’bout them Saints?!
The Half-Irish in my agrees with Crappy, but the half-Greek in me really wants to see this and complain loudly about how everything about their culture was stolen from ours.
When I want to be Italian, I’m feeling suicidal. I put cheese on everything, and I’m lactose intolerant.
A “Felini” is an HJ under the table at an Olive Garden.
I don’t have any Italian in me, but I’d like to.
That’s not an old joke. I made that up just now.
In the year 2000, half of the people on Earth will become a flesh-eating zombie. When the zombies run out of flesh, they will start eating dirt. When they run out of dirt, some will reluctantly eat at The Olive Garden.
When I want to be Italian, I go out with my friends and we pick fights with people. Then, when it’s clear that we’re going to lose, I switch sides and try to kick the shit out of my buddies.
So it’s pasta for lunch then noMo?
Sausage.
I actually had Chinese for lunch, but it wasn’t very filling :(
Careful, Chinese spoo has lead in it :(
If any of you ladies out there want to “be Italian”, grow a mustache.
Uwe up!
Being a director does look hard. You have to pretend both Fregie and Kate Hudson are sexy. Then there’s lighting, blocking, set design, getting Nicole Kidman out of her shrinkwrap every morning. He’s just one guido, damn it!
Really? Fergie? I hope Daniel Day-Lewis didn’t get poked by her swelling member too often, that’s for Josh Duhamel only!
A story about a man trying to win back his wife? Doesn’t he know that’s when you give up and trade her in for a newer model?