‘DAMN NATION’
12.15.09
(Damn Nation —> Damn Yankees. Don’t tell me you don’t see the connection.)
We’ve had 1000 vampire projects, 1000 post-apocalypse projects, and even a vampire post-apocalypse project. But Hollywood is like BASF, in that they don’t make a lot of the products you buy, they make a lot of the products you buy sh-ttier and more derivative.
Ashley Edward Miller and Zack Stentz, who wrote “Thor” for Marvel, have come aboard to pen “Damn Nation,” a futuristic vampire project lurking at Paramount, based on a comic by Andrew Cosby and Jason Alexander (not the “Seinfeld” actor).
Set in a U.S. evacuated after an attack from “inhuman nocturnal predators,” the comic tells the tale of the survivors after the government has been forced to relocate to London while scientists search for a solution. [THR]
Sweet, well that sounds pretty sh-tty. 28 Doomsdays of Night Later, they could call it. You know who I bet would like this? This guy:
[His name's Chris Noel, btw. I bet he parties with Weston Coppola Cage. Puffy paint parties.]
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More like puffy asshole parties.
It was nice of them to put pink boxes behind him, since that’s the only pink box he’s going to get.
Set in a U.S. evacuated after an attack from “inhuman nocturnal predators,” the comic tells the tale of the survivors after the government has been forced to relocate to London while scientists search for a solution.
I guess “give them smallpox blankets and move them onto reservations” doesn’t work twice, huh?
Ted Nugent could kill these “inhuman nocturnal predators”
Ted Nugent can deflect bullets with the power of his rock.
“inhuman nocturnal predator” is the new cougar.
I thought Damn Nation was a movie about the U.S. being evacuated after an attack from beavers.
RAWR!!!
Ted Nugent built his Damn with Styx.
I guess this means I gotta throw away my script for a movie about an America that’s been taken over by Mary Kay consultants… so long ‘Pink Car Nation’. I’ll miss you.
Also, there goes my spec about people who change back and forth between humans and “inhuman nocturnal predators”, forcing the government of America into exile.
*deletes file called “Alter Nation” from desktop*
I’m not going to tell you what ‘Tar Nation’ was about, but I lost the greasy napkin it was written on anyway.
You can just forget about the heartwarming tale of a grifter who gets worried turns serious after monsters take over America.
‘Conster Nation’ would have been a good one too.
They should release a G-rated version called Darn Nation.
/hates cursing
Disney’s version will be about a female deer who teaches her young about charity while monsters are taking over the forest.
‘Doe Nation’, out next Christmas.
I like to refer to Hawaii as Spam Nation.
I’ve been working on a script about what goes on in the private lives of archaeologists.
In Dig Nation.
Andrew Ridgeley got famous for doing absolutely nothing in Wham! Nation.
Killer robot exchange students with 30-day Visas wreak havoc on America in ‘Term in Nation’.
Have you heard about the script about the men who are abandoned after their legs are broken, testicles are cut off, and have to survive by eating bits of the plaster?
Cast Rations.
Fuck you.
Uppity, violent teetotaler with telekinetic powers fights inhuman nocturnal predators in ‘Carrie Nation’.
Blue Oyster Cult band members portray the vampires -Clam Nation.
I’d don’t think I’d ever be high enough to want to see this movie.
Yogi discovers pot farm hidden in Jellystone:
High Bear Nation.
Scientists try to discover why people avoid anyone who votes against something.
Determine Nay Shun.
I’ll come up with the description later.
Procrasti Nation.
Men impregnate women who disrespect them.
Dis semination.
Kids have to walk to school, uphill, both ways!
Incline Nation.
The Mighty Feklahr lives out His wildest fantasies at a nursing home!
Irradiation!
Filmdrunkards agree never to give me another Comment of the Week.
Denomination.
Jack!, wtf? You are the COTW Emperor! True or false? Jacktion’s! comment made Dan Rosen’s sister and mom cry.
Just how the fuck are we supposed to top that? Unless I fucking get that prick Allan Weisbecker on his cell during his flight from Tahiti to Palm Springs, you are king of this hill!
Chris Noel gets real bent out of shape when people spoil the season finale of Dexter on TV blogs two days after it aired.
My period musical about the forming of our Republic is in turnaround:
“You’re a Nation!”
Somewhere in the country full of inhuman nocturnal predators is a nuclear explosive that must be deactivated before it ends life on Earth.
A-Bomb in Nation.
George Clooney, Daniel Craig and Wolverine star in a tale about lonely ladies in
Viber -Nation
Me Chinese me play joke me go pee pee in your coke in
Carbo Nation
The Atkins Diet is not very popular in Carbo Nation.
That’s not a click step. I’m just sayin’.
You’ll wake up in a tub full of ice in
Organ Nation
Rooster and Trish live at
Molest Nation
How do you call the people that live in Damn Nation?
you guessed it, NuGentlemen.
In the forthcoming post-apocalyptic vampire future, I bet that Ted Nugent is nothing more than a grizzled crossbow-wielding weirdo.
Wait.