SwayzeWhereAreYou

Last week when I didn’t have a prize to give away, Rob from Shirt Genius graciously emailed a gracious offer to graciously provide a shirt for the winner of this week’s Comments of the Week.  I’m partial to the one above, but the winner can pick hisorher design and size this time (sorry we didn’t work that out sooner, previous CotW winners too skinny or fat for their shirt).  Here’s a comment that almost won:

sarcasm_4_fun says:
Wow you people are pathetic, probably sitting alone at your computers pale as fuck! and fat to boot, gunning down these tanned and obviously fit young hot men. Remember when you point a finger at some one else there are 3 pointing back at you, so I’m guessing that you are the ones that are actually imagining being on some guys totem pole (be sure not to slide you’ll sliver, lol) all while you’re chugging down 1 beer.. two beers… & become three little losers, lol yes i noticed that there are 3 of you that are making all the alcoholic and pole sliding comments, what a bunch of jealous losers you are. These young men are simply people with morales and values like most decent human beings which is obviouly more personality that you 3 will ever have. Cheers! slug down another drink and I hope you all choke on it, that is if you don’t already choke on that pole you have in your mouth…. or is that your ass!!!! lmao can’t tell the difference from my safe distance, lol Have a nice day! Assholes!!!

sarcasm_4_fun says:  Wow you people are pathetic, probably sitting alone at your computers pale as f-ck! and fat to boot, gunning down these tanned and obviously fit young hot men. Remember when you point a finger at some one else there are 3 pointing back at you, so I’m guessing that you are the ones that are actually imagining being on some guys totem pole (be sure not to slide you’ll sliver, lol) all while you’re chugging down 1 beer.. two beers… & become three little losers, lol yes i noticed that there are 3 of you that are making all the alcoholic and pole sliding comments, what a bunch of jealous losers you are. These young men are simply people with morales and values like most decent human beings which is obviouly more personality that you 3 will ever have. Cheers! slug down another drink and I hope you all choke on it, that is if you don’t already choke on that pole you have in your mouth…. or is that your ass!!!! lmao can’t tell the difference from my safe distance, lol Have a nice day! Assholes!!!

I love the reverse trolls we get on here telling us we should die in a car fire for being so mean and hyperbolic.  Unfortunately for Sarcasm, the post she commented on wasn’t from this week so I had to disqualify her.  ;-( Here’s your winner:

[From The Woman Who Threatened to Cobra Rape Someone] Immortal 9 says:

Horatio Caine: So what do we got here?

Medical Examiner: The victim was violated by a Cobra snake.

Horation Caine: Now thats what I call *puts on sunglasses* a hiss-terectomy.

YEAAHHHHHHHHHH!

Someone else (ChinoMoreno) may have said Hissterectomy first, but as my grandma always said, it doesn’t count if you don’t write it in the form of a CSI Miami intro.  So congrats, Immortal.  Send me your info.

Here are your runners up/honorable unmentionables.

[From Flight Club/Underground Aerial Fight Club: The Movie]

Pauly Dangerously says: I want you to shoot me in the wing as hard as you can.

Michelle07 says: Michelle Rodriguez will be flying the bi-plane

[From Twilight Site Advertises Plus-Size Jeans]

Michelle07 says: “Are you Twi-ing too hard to get into your pants?”

UpstateUnderdog says: Torrid shoppers wash themselves with an Ed Hardy shirt on a stick.

[From Lana Wachowski is lookin great] Donkey Hodey says: I think it’s pretty fitting that he chose a girl’s name that, when reversed, spells out “Anal”. [Editor's note: Not to ruin the joke, but from what I've read she still prefers women.]

[From John Malkovich to play Vulture in Spider-Man 4] Donkey Hodey says:
 The theme song for this one will be ‘Carrion My Wayward Son’.

[From Trailer for St. John of Las Vegas] Pauly Dangerously says: If Danny Trejo and Michelle Rodriguez made a baby, it would be so hardcore and Latin that it would perform the C-section from the inside.

Pauly Dangerously says: If Danny Trejo and Michelle Rodriguez made a baby, it would be so hardcore and Latin that it would send you letters from the inside saying that he’ll be out in a couple of months and send it with pictures of him posing against the wall.

Donkey Hodey says: If Peter Dinklage and Michelle Rodriguez made a baby, it would have a short temper.

[From Woman threatens to rape Rachel True with a cobra] Mark it Zero says: Reached for comment, Trent Reznor said “You’re doing it wron- alright, that’s pretty close actually” then went back to painting his eyelids.

[From Tron Legacy poster] Donkey Hodey says: I’ll see this ten times if he uses the Microsoft Paperclip to help him pick a lock in the computer world.

[From Sex and the City 2 poster] Påüłÿ Ðąηgęrσűşľγ says:
 She’s wearing neighviators.

Chino Moreno says: I think that she’d prefer Oatleys.

Thanks, folks.  Without comments, I’d feel like I was just pissing in the wind over here.