According to people who know these things, December 10th is ‘Human Rights Day’, and in Vancouver, Amnesty International will be celebrating by sponsoring the premiere of Darfur, along with a Q & A by its director… Uwe Boll.
The movie stars Billy Zane and had a typo in the trailer, so either Amnesty International is unfamiliar with the man’s work, or they’re making people sit through one of his movies as a way to demonstrate that torture is wrong. I can’t imagine what the Q & A will be about. Everyone knows the Sudan has only one true spokesperson, and that spokesperson is Bangs:
![[avatar]](http://p.uproxxcdn.com/photo/257/thumb)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/05/Wall-Street-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/05/uwe-boll-assault-on-wall-street-interview-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2012/10/Furlong-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2012/08/rampage-150x150.jpg)
That song is fucking tight.
They are killings of zee peoples there, darfur I made dis movie to shed the light on dis tragedy.
When me and the wife renew our vows that song will be the first one we dance to.
bangs, billy zane and uwe boll in one fucking post… {throws keyboard on ground and stomps on it} i’m OUT!! i can only take so much fucking punishment!!
much like your average uwe boll movie my last point gets minus points for a major continuity error
[In Q&A session]
UB: Jes jou, man zo attractive dat jou have made me gay.
[Crappy stands]
C: Mr. Boll, besides sucking, are you aware that pinky dicked film blogger Vinky Martini will fight you?
UB: Sex me now.
Guy’cha, Lince! No wop talk in the last thread? WHY YOU MAKE-A GRAMMA CRY?
Hunan leftovers day > human rights day
I’m going to reference my partially Polish heritage and say my response to this movie is “Que?”
*Jack protests in British Columbia holding a placard that says “Vancouver Prejudiced Against Southpaws!”
If this is going to be in Vancouver, Uwe should change into his lederhosern.
Where’s the petition to get Boll hired as the director of Breaking Dawn?
A Roman Polanski Q&A is all about Quaaludes and Assholes.
If this is going to be in Vancouver, somebody we know needs to put down the Yellow Tail and pick up a hatchet.
But the Yellow Tail is the best member (heh) of the Armada!
Uwe Boll does not think that his soul was too high a price for his, “success.”
This is gonna be the best genocide movie since Sometimes in April. Well, that’s what Uwe thinks.
“I don’t want a movie like Taxi Driver where a guy is killing everybody, too many movies like that.” -IMdb
Uh, has he even seen Taxi Driver?
On fighting (and winning) against all of his critics in a boxing ring: “You see what happens when people get hit in the head? They like my movies!” -IMdb
He’s talking to you DNA.
Does “Uwe” rhyme with “Sooo-eee”?
Fuck it, I’ll just go do some work then.
[skips to my Lou]
Unlike Bangs, I’ve never had a “special” girl. Darfur must be pretty liberal that way.
“Excuse me, Mr. Boll … why are you collecting the severed heads of African natives?”
“Darfur.”
Remember the TV movie prelude for 24 last season when Jack Bauer took out most of the Sudanese rebels? He almost killed Bangs but then Bangs sang him this very song, and Jack Bauer wept.
Bangs special girl has Strahan teeth.
[slides down firepole, ass plants camera]
Fuck Uwe Boll. That clown cashed my last slider of dank, ganked my Hot Pocket chillin in the mirco and skated out all while I was taking a piss. Rook fucker.
[nutpunches cameraman, slides up firepole]
Bangs’ favourite activity is browsing his own website topless.
I’m going to reference my fully south american heritage and say that my response to this movie is still…”que”?
Siiiiiiii…
That video has more jump cuts than a damn tony scott movie.
I don’t understand why bangs is running game on that 13 year old. Does he think she’s going to cure his AIDS?
Someone may have pointed this out already but… Is that a penis with arms and legs sitting in the chair? It looks like every 13 year old’s re-imagining of Mr. Peanut.
No, that’s Verne Troyer.