12.22.09 CELEB KARAOKE: FIRST TRAILER FOR KARATE KID
The cool thing about being a ridiculously wealthy celebrity is that if you like a movie, you can just put your kid in it, like movie karaoke. On that note, here’s the first trailer for Jaden Smith/Jackie Chan’s THE Karate Kid (the ‘The’ is very important), which the soundtrack promises will Linkin Pork you in the ears. The plot is that Jaden’s mom moves him to Beijing, where he soon finds out that Chinaman no rikey reedo brack boy, and old women are always elbowing him in the ribs on the subway (I’m just speculating here). So Jackie Chan comes and teaches him Kung Fu. Or maybe Karate. It’s a little unclear. What’s the one where Asian dudes kick each other?
And then at the end, Jaden Smith sees Jackie Chan trying to catch flies with chopsticks, and he’s all “It’s like Star Wars and you’re Yoda.” No, dumbf-ck, it’s more like Karate Kid.
(”Stay out my store!”)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2010/07/Thor-ChrisHemsworth-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2010/07/sucker_punch_xlg-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2010/07/LetMeInPoster2-150x150.jpg)
There are 38 comments about:
CELEB KARAOKE: FIRST TRAILER FOR KARATE KID
I’ma jus wait for Chino to say somethin. RESPECT.
(finga snaps)
They should have just filmed this in Japan. That way, the karate thing still makes sense. Plus, apparently KFC is super-popular in Japan so…yeah… that works too.
The plot is that Jaden’s mom moves him to Beijing
I hear they had to move because she got scared after he got into a fight near his West Philadelphia middle school.
The last time Jackie Chan told a small black kid to “jacket off” he was arrested for being a Drunken Master
“Sweep the jig! SWEEP THE JIG!!!“
Based on the movie pitch of a mongoloid Klansman who wanted to send all the negroes back to China.
Chopsticks or no, Jaden just wants Jackie Chan to get the flies that are making it hard for him to see.
See. Even the Chinese don’t like the blacks.
Mom couldn’t get a visa for the moon, I guess. Wait, she’s going to pimp him ? None of this makes any sense. I’m going to lie down.
I liked the part where Jackie Chan picked the watermelon seed off of that flyswatter.
I would rather watch celebrity karaoke than this movie
*puts on Duets*
Maybe I was a little too hasty.
They save a bunch on casting by filming it in China. You just assume everybody in the whole town is out to get him because you can’t tell any of them apart anyway.
Dre moved to China? Now who’s going to sell all this crack?
Can you guys tone it down so I don’t get the NAACP on my ass? Thanks.
Jaden’s only weakness is Orange Chicken.
Back in the states it was Fried Chicken and Orange soda.
Ok. Delete that comment above.
He whistled for a rickshaw and when it came near, the license plate said ‘flesh’ and the driver did all his math homework for him.
The moral of the story:
Karate shows us we all are the same color under our feet and on our palms.
Can you guys tone it down so I don’t get the NAACP on my ass? Thanks.
I’m sorry. I didn’t realize the NAACP liked Duets.
Just have them send all their complaints to Burnsy’s “frat brothers.” They’ll get ‘em off your ass.
I just died a little inside.
Rest in peace, Mr. Myagi. Please disregard Mr. Chan’s urine that is flowing around your casket.
Curse you, Columbia pictures.
So that’s a NO to reviving the Reverend Al character then?
A black kid goes to China to learn a Japanese martial art. We’re just finishing what Columbia Pictures started.
Does that pic make anybody else think of that ‘Great Wall of Philadelphia’ commercial from the Foundation for a Better Life?
In this version, “Point black” is a command, not a scoring statement.
MIZ, why you gotta bring T-Bone, J-Rod, K-Bomb, A-Train, and Jizzy Bob into this?
I wonder if kick the tar out of him translates well in Chinese. My father’s corpse could use a good chuckle.
Fat Up.
Dammit! Should’ve said 30 Odd Foot of Up.
Chinese black kid in spanish is Chino Moreno.
They moved it to China so it wouldn’t be Celeb Kidkakke.
Chinese Mexican kid in Spanish is Chino.
Imagine the line they’ll have to use to replace:
Girl: “You mean you’ll let me drive?”
K-Kid: “Why not – It’s the Eighties!”
Maybe
G: You ret me derive?
B: I seen how you do in my country, so fuck that shit.
Well, nothing like blowing 20-30 years training in a martial art to go and make a movie where they call it another martial art that originated in a country that committed genocide on the one that created the art you practice.
Just what I needed, more of a reason for people to ask me what kind of karate I teach. Jackie Chan should be ashamed of himself.
basically its another hollywood racism that have the hidden meaning whatever the chinese can do american guys can do it better and the american always get the chinese babe in the end.
enough of those racists letting a kid be the lead while our famous actors are supporting roles. its like saying our kids own ur famous actors. really people shldnt watch it n let them go bankrupt on these racist idea movies =( but i guess everyone will watch it and they will make big money by being racist towards chineses
I don’t know if Jackie Chan would be right for the lead in a movie called The Karate Kid.
The Americans should stop being racists and do what the Chinese do – hire Chinese for their lead roles.
Seriously, we go to the Chinese for egg rolls, not lead roles.
U-S-A! U-S-A!
This movie is ten percent black, fifty percent asian and 100 percent Will Smith’s fault.
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