CASTING COUCH RAPE
12.02.09
For composer Joseph Brooks, apparently even writing the number one song of 1977 (“You Light Up My Life”) wasn’t enough to keep him from having to get sex by force. You know, the non-consensual kind, man. *jazz drums fade in, fireplace lights by itself*
Prosecutors want to boost sexual assault charges against the Academy Award-winning songwriter behind “You Light Up My Life,” who already is accused of 11 casting-couch rapes.
Brooks has pleaded not guilty to rape, sexual abuse and other charges. He’s accused of luring most of the women to his Manhattan apartment through an online ad offering auditions for a movie role, then sexually assaulting them after making them drink apparently drugged wine as part of an “acting exercise.”
Brooks — who won the Academy Award for best original song for the 1977 Debby Boone ballad “You Light Up My Life” and directed a related movie — would wow the women with his Hollywood credentials, making a point of showing them his Oscar, prosecutors say. [Yahoo]
Jesus, he shows you his Oscar, offers you a movie part, feeds you wine, and you still won’t consent to sex? I find these ladies guilty, of bein uptight, man. *bongo riff* On a serious note, I think the only fair punishment is to get this guy together with fellow Oscar-winning rapist Roman Polanski and have them do a little back and forth about who has drugged whose wine a lá The Princess Bride.

The sad part is that if that handsome fellow in the banner pic couldn’t get laid consensually, what hope do the rest of us have?
* stocks up on GHB and duct tape
Can’t we get the rapists to fight giants instead?
Also how is there not a Vannin’ tag on this thread?
Please tell me you are not naked playing the bongos
Again
TLC just purchased the rights for “Help I’m Trying To Be A Celebrity But I’m Being Raped, Get Me Out Of Here.”
Adds “Oscar” to the list of stellar penis euphemisms.
http://www.mylifeistwilight.com/
Doomed, I say!!!!!
Please hold me, reading that link has made me so scared. I think I shall go take a Silkwood shower, that was so icky.
Eib, is that a Nelson video link?
I do not know about the Nelson link. I assure you, it is not.
Oh. My. God.
I had a dream I was having sex with Edward, then the alarm clock went off and when I rolled over I seen my boyfriend next to me and I frowned. Then he looked at me and asked “Why are you stairing at me?” I replied “your not edward” then he jumped up and said “Edward? Who’s Edward?” -MLIT
Have fun with your lifetime full of healthy, stable relationships, Twilight fan!
Oh my… you know… I get on here and read comments on this site, because you guys make me laugh my ass off every day… I expect nothing but the best from all of you…. And every day.. you do not fail me… But that link… that link…
May you burn in the depths for sharing that…
I had to share the link, it’s like the video in the Ring, only it causes brain cells to die
I did hear a creepy voice whisper in my ear “seven seconds, it’ll never stop”
If Uproxx signs me out one more time, I’m going to spend the rest of my day at AICN.
I’d rather be trapped in a well with that creepy kid from The Ring than trapped in a well with a Twihard.
Boots, better yet, I’d rather drown a Twihard in a well than eat lunch today.
Look at that fine piece of ass to the right, some dudes just want it all.
On this day in history:
* Roman Polanski snickers at the amateurs from his palatial French villa.
* Oscar trophy has just passed 1983 G-Series GMC Van as the #1 tool for aspiring rapists.
@Patty… you don’t need to worry. There is no way you could fit into a well with a Twihard. They’re huge!
I think the real question is can that casting couch fit in a van?
It’s not a casting couch, it’s a love seat, baby. Drink this. Oh yeah…..