CAPTAIN AMERICA SHOOTS IN JUNE
12.29.09It came out as sort of a throwaway line in an interview about Wolf Man, but it seems Joe Johnston will be directing First Avenger: Captain America, and it will shoot in June.
[on taking over Wolf Man with just four weeks until production] “By the time I got on a plane and arrived, it was three,” recalls Johnston, speaking from the art department of THE FIRST AVENGER: CAPTAIN AMERICA, which he’s readying for a June start. [Fangoria via ComingSoon]
If you’ll remember, Captain America got his powers from an “experimental serum” that enhanced him “to the peak of human perfection.” So basically, our national superhero is a big, yoked-out juicehead. USA! USA! Let’s do Jägr bombs!
You might also notice that they’ve now got so many superhero movies in production that they’re hiring directors like Joe Johnston who are known mainly for special effects, and who’ve made movies like Jurassic Park 3 to direct them. A little history: Joel Shumacher basically killed the superhero movie boom of the 90s with his horrible Batman & Robin. Then the genre was resurrected with respected directors like Bryan Singer, Sam Raimi, Chris Nolan, (and to a lesser extent Jon Favreau). Now that we’re back to throwing any guy who can string a CGI sequence together at them, gee, I wonder what will happen. We should just thrown in the towel and let Brett Ratner do everything.


If you’ll remember, Captain America got his powers from an “experimental serum”
In the movie, the serum is Red Bull or I eat this kitten.
I’m the Jägrnaut , bitch!
Captain Canada got his powers from an “experimental syrup” (it was maple mixed with meth).
Captain Canada fights the evils of frostbit, boredom and giant moose (is that the plural? fucking public education).
In this movie, Captain American loses his job to Captain Mexico who’ll do it for half as much.
I want a Captain U.N. movie. He hands out economic sanctions instead of decapitating people with a shield. Also he would probably look a lot less gay.
Captain Crunch got his powers from an experimental cereal.
God damn you people really are going to make me have to step up my game…
Fucking Pauly stole my joke
Captain Brazil got his powers from an experienced shemale.
Of course Pauly stole it. He’s Mexican.
Captain Lou Albano got bitch tits from an experimental serum.
Captain Italy gets his powers from a gold medallion, a magical speedo, and his a mama’s a-pasta.
Captain Kangaroo got his powers from an exceptional children’s series.
Captain Obvious just told me that they’re making a Captain America movie.
Captain South Africa got his powers from an ex-con.
Captain Africa’s experimental serum is grape drank.
When I interviewed Johnston a few weeks ago I told him “Casting for Capt America…may I introduce you to the work of Nathan Fillion?” And he said they actually had pics of Fillion in the casting room. But he gave the vibe that they consider Fillion too old for what they are looking for and they want a sort of weakling for the part at first because the serum buffs (roids) him out. But that there were other roles he might be good for.
So five bucks says Jesse Eisenberg gets pre-roid Capt America’s part because hey…Jew vs. Nazis.
Captain Nigeria will save the world if you help him get his money out of the bank.
Captain America is bitter he never made Colonel.
Captain Planet got his powers from teenagers without rape whistles.
Captain China is a yellow belly.
Captain America owes a shit load of money to General Tso
Captain Uruguay got his powers from experimenting in college.
Sarah Jessica Parker should so play Red Skull.
Captain Panama is a girl.
Gawdammit, it’s Captain Canuck and aliens infused him with, uh, a substance.
Don’t make me go back there.
Captain Morgan got his special powers as an exceptional rum.
Captain Asia will never make Lieutenant seeing as he can’t properly pronounce it.
Captain Unamerica got elected. :(
Captain Canuck is a goaltender. The substance in question is hair gel.
Captain Harlem’s arch nemesis is Redd Foxx
Captain of the chess team got a wedgie.
When experimenting with serums, it’s important that you only take them orally lest you become pregnant.
Trust me on this one.
Captain Poland can’t change a lightbulb because there’s only of him.
America Ferrera keeps thinking this a movie about her joining the army.
In Mother Russia, Tain caps you!
Captain Russia June is shoots.
Captain America seems to always give shit to Private Puerto Rico.
*THAT’S* what I meant MiZ.
Captain America’s gay porn name is Captaint America.
Captain America ith Thor.
Late to the party again. }}:>(
Anyway, if He remembers, He will post a couple scans from this Captain America #2 reprint He got for Krs’Mas.
Let’s just say Cap dresses like a woman, dresses Bucky up like a sissy and has him jack off a Nazi. The Mighty Feklahr wishes He was lying/exaggerating.
Fek, is He confusing a comic book with the snuff porn he got for Christmas?
Captaint Americunt, the famous porn star, also shoots in June… if she’ll let him.
Captain Thumbs gets his powers from sailor serum.
Captain Africa shoots sideways.
Also in that room: A young boy appearing to be in so much pain that he is lifting one leg.
Just earlier he had a little Captain’ in him, you see.
Damn Tidy, gross minds “taint” alike.
Oh my God….The Rev is dead. FUCKKKK
Wait…Captain America *ISN’T* snuff porn???
No. That’s “Captain Bury Erica”.