11.06.09 WEEKEND PREVIEW: THE BOX OPENS
Opening this weekend (click titles for reviews, trailer after the jump)
The Box
Frank Langella has a box and if you press the button you get some money, but someone in the world also dies. So what’s the catch again? And how much are we talking, like a twenty spot, or less?
A Christmas Carol
A digital Jim Carrey stars in Robert Zemeckis’ latest attempt to make motion-capture happen. Dude, just film the damn actors, this computer crap looks stupid.
The Fourth Kind
Milla Jovovich and, uh, alien possession or something. I’m a little disappointing with the trailer because I know the first kind is golden showers, the second kind is poo play, and I was kind of intrigued to find out what the fourth kind was. Had my fingers crossed for some sort of shomit bukkake.
Men Who Stare at Goats
George Clooney, The Dude, Ewan Macgregor, goats — what’s not to like? I had high hopes, but the reviews haven’t been too good so far. And now I definitely won’t see it because I trust those fat, disgusting, know-it-all shut-ins like they were my brothers.
Precious
An inner-city girl goes on a quest for the magic ring that turned her fat so she can throw it off a mountain. Just kidding, of course, except the part about her being really fat. Supposed to be good, but then Oprah and Tyler Perry are involved and screw them.
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2010/02/Ondine-LadyintheWater-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2010/02/ValentinesDay-still-cardiga-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2010/02/DearJohn-ChanningTatum-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2010/02/Cop-out-willis-morgan-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2010/02/Empire-FixedGearGuy-150x150.jpg)
There are 17 comments about:
WEEKEND PREVIEW: THE BOX OPENS
I’m more of a “man who stares at box” kind of guy.
If anyone would push the button on my box, I’d do the murderin’ myself.
I stare at scrotes.
When her husband keeps fiddling around unsuccessfully with the button on her box, Cameron ends up faking a killing to get him to stop.
I have one problem with the banner pic. Why would a man as straight as Kevin Spacey be that close to a man’s gaping anus?
I have serious concerns about men who stare at Goatse.
(have I heard that someplace? Unintentional steal if it is.)
It’s xmas Carol because she won’t say how much she weighs.
I’ll open my box for the right amount of money.
The Box = The Pox
Richard Kelly lost me the moment he replaced “The Killing Moon” with INXfuckingS. Way to ruin your only decent movie, numbnuts.
Then he cast Buffy as a porn star who don’t do porn? He’s either ghey, retarded or George Lucas.
“I’ll open my box for the right amount of money.”
Is Diners Club okay?
Man, I hope that pic of Aron Ralston stays in the header forever.
He has such a disarming smile…
Why does Jeff Bridges look more like Kris Kristofferson?
I’ll open my box for the right amount of money.
I think Vince said it best. ” And how much are we talking, like a twenty spot, or less?”
Vince said that? No way. A big time New York blogger never has to pay for it. Right Vince?…….Vince?
I stare at men through Locs, Esé.
’swi, how much is a bucket of the Colonel’s Original recipe?
You want fried or are you a member of Grill Nation?
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