TRAVOLTA IS AN IDIOT
11.18.09
(via FacesofOldDogs)
USA Today recently did a fluff piece on the modern classic Old Dogs, and you just know someone was quoted saying something really stupid because just look at this embarrassment. I’d rather watch a snuff film about a relative. Anyway, the winner of the dipsh-t sweepstakes is John Travolta, who says reading the script was “the hardest I ever laughed.”
Travolta says that one lure of the film was the centerpiece scene, where Travolta and Williams mix up their medications. Travolta’s face turns into a Joker-like smile, while Williams’ tongue grows to the size of a dill pickle.
“That scene, I’ve probably laughed harder than I ever have,” Travolta says. “I knew I wanted to do the movie when I read that part. I’d pay $10 to see that scene.”
Would you? Would you pay $10 to see it when it was in The Game Plan with The Rock, or just the other 30 times it happened in a stupid movie? Don’t answer that, just choke.
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I hope Travis Coates takes this movie out back and shoots it in the brain.
There is no medication that does that. Believe me, I would be using the jokerface medication to get through a day of having to smile at douchebags at work if this were the case, and I’d take the pickle medication before dates. *sproioioioing!*
Hey guys, remember that time that my parents forgot me at home when they went on vacation and two robbers tried to break in, and I foiled their plot with childish trickery? Man, that was awesome.
Travolta isn’t an idiot for wanting to see this, he’s an idiot because he believes in scientology.
The Mighty Feklahr has it on good authority that “Old Dogs” tested well with Nine Inch Nails fans.
I hear Travolta is dedicating this movie to the memory of his son, because only autistic people could enjoy it.
Judging from the banner pic, he’s taken Vince’s advice.
Hey guys, remember that time I was a cop and got shot a bunch of times and once in the head and I was near-death, and they brought me back to life as a robot cop? That was fucking BOSS!
Your tongue swells up like a pickle if you stick a Viagra up your dickhole.
I remember that, Pauly! Remember how I stole your mom’s underwear and raped you in the butt after I tripped on those hotwheel cars you left out to cockblock me? Ha ha, good times.
I’m sorry, I got my previous comment wrong.
It’s retarded kids who like shit, not autistic kids.
Hey guys, remember that time I had Aspergers and that waitress dropped all those toothpicks and I counted them all so my brother took me to a casino to win a bunch of money? That was a blast!
This sounds like a wet old dog about to be euthanized
Meanwhile Seth Green huffs a rain barrel full of turpentine just to survive another day of shooting.
I remember that, Robo. You were ever so gentle.
Pauly, that from First Blood. This isn’t the first time you’ve tried to tell stories of John Rambo’s life as your own.
and Travolta signs a refusal to transport the swollen-tongued Williams and shenanigans ensue.
But Jack!…THEY DREW FIRST BLOOOOOOD!
Who’s the invisible guy?
Pauly went to Vietnam in 1993 to open up a sweatshop.
It’s easy to mix up medications when they’re buried in peanut butter.
FML
You guys remember that time Chet totally made fun of my soccer-playing skills, so I spent two minutes practicing to the song “You’re the Best” and was suddenly really good a soccer and still a total fag?
Travolta actually didn’t think the whole medication mix up was funny at all. He likes to be the one with a pickle in his mouth.
if that´s the centerpiece I don´t want to be at that table
Williams’ tongue grows to the size of a dill pickle.
and his dick grows to the size of a gherkin.
Ironically, the Old Dogs script was the thing He ever laughed hardest at as well.
boPa, did you really think soccer skills would stop getting your dick hard for dudes?
I’m gonna wait for the DVD so I can see the deleted scene of the old dogs having to share a double bed at the motel: -”What do you mean OUR room? We had reservations for two.”
“That’s right sir, two -a double.”
“No, we had two reservations”
“Well I’m sorry sir, there’s a Cat Fanciers convention in town and we are booked solid.”
“I guess we’ll take it.”
Then the awesome scene of them spooning together while they sleep and you get to see Robin Williams’ tube of red lipstick.
You guys remember the time I pretended to be a Cowboy and then Scott Glenn kicked the shit out of Deborah Winger because I could ride a mechanical bull better than him and she wouldn’t make him a sandwich? Those were the good old days.
vince, you should have used jt-04 instead of these, that says retarded potatoe to me.
I’m starting to think Jett Travolta committed suicide because he couldn’t stand how stupid his dad is.
Of course this script used old cliche gags, everybody knows you can’t teach an old dog new tricks.
[Crappy opens Tiger Beat, old dog walks up and starts pawing at his junk]
Hey girl! Is it peanut butter time?
Hey remember in Hannibal when Lecter feeds Mason Verger those drugs and instructs him to cut his face apart with glass shards? That was hilarious too.
Why are you looking at me like that?
New up
Aw, fuck.
Megan’s Law says that I have to introduce myself to everyone before I can enter this thread.
Whoops!
Thread law says I have introduce myself before entering Megan.
Travolta never chokes. He gags a lot but he never chokes.
Everyone says that I have to enter the Matrix before I can introduce Megan to this thread.
Woah.