11.17.09 TIME TO PLAY ‘WHICH ANNA FARIS PROJECT SOUNDS WORSE?’

I’m beginning to think the way to make it as a screenwriter is to just write down the dumbest f-cking thing you can think of.

Nah, If that were true then Harry Knowles would be the world’s most prodigious screenwriter by this point.

I think I speak for all the hetero men and even Robo when I say, “Tits or GTFO”.

I’m beginning to think the way to make it as a screenwriter is to just write down the dumbest f-cking thing you can think of.

Retarded Potato Farmer, a movie about a farmer who grows retarded potatoes.

Is this the third Kate Hudson post of the day???

“So how do you know the potatoes are retarded?”

“You just gotta look ‘em in the eyes.”

*** answers phone ***

“Hello? Yes, I’m familiar with FOX Searchlight…”

…a van ride?

Vince, obviously you’re just a poser. I think Rooster would agree that she is a little OLD for a “van ride.”

KANGAROOS FIGHTING RETARDED POTATOES *AND* TITS OR GTFO!

“So how do you know the potatoes are retarded?”

THEY ARE WEARING TAPOUT TSHIRTS!

Retarded potatoes have unusually wide spaced eyes.

Jacktion –

Never grow full retard.

Sean William Scott as Oscar, Cuba Gooding Jr. as Felix, Julia Roberts as Felix’s sentient third nipple in ‘The Odd Couple’.

Sorry, Peet. Naturally, I’ll blame it on the oiPhone.

Retarded potatoes always come out half-baked.

Slow roasted?

Retarded potatoes spell their name without an ‘e’.

*stands behind JHC*

YEAH!

*continues standing behind JHC*

How you doin’?

IF FUCKING BROCK LESNAR IS TERMINALLY ILL, CAN HE DO ONE LAST PPV WHERE HE FIGHTS LINDSAY LOHAN AND PARIS HILTON…TO THE DEATH???

Retarded potatoes come from Idumbho.

Wow, that thought was so awesome it actually got me to calm down for a second.

WELL THAT WAS FUCKING NICE! PLAY TIME IS OVER YOU TALKING PILE OF PIGSHIT!

Retarded potatoes are Down to earth.

Retarded potatoes are a little strange, but I dig ‘em.

Potato bullies love to give retarded potatoes wedgies.

*shrugs*

Retarded potatoes don’t need to be watered, because they’re already in a puddle of drool.

Texas is the only state that will fry retarded potatoes.

Retarded potatoes’ eyes are the windows to their souls. Aaaaand, they lick ‘em.

*I may have pulled something on that one

Retarded potatoes love fried chicken.

PtBNL: *stand* *slow clap*

Chino: yours was better, and that stomp was the most action my dick has seen since Easter.

Wait, so who the qovlpath co-stars with Anna Faris in the retarded potato movie He has been hearing so much about?

Know how to tell if a retarded potato is done?

You give it a fork.

Retarded potatoes taste best when eaten with special sauce.

Too bad Terry Schiavo is dead. I understand she would have been perfect for the lead in the retarded potato movie. She has experience playing a vegetable.

I’d take a retarded potato over some stupid ginger any day…

I think Obama once said he was like a bowl of retared potatoes.

Retarded potatoes think that potato chips are used as fertilizer.

And that was how he spelled retarded too.

Retarded potatoes are called “POH-DAY-DOZE”.

Congratulations, team! FilmDrunk is now the first entry when you Google “retarded potatoes”

I’m beginning to think the way to make it as a screenwriter is to just write down the dumbest f-cking thing you can think of.

A well to do white mother finds a homeless gentle giant negro, brings him into her home, teaches him about family and love and turns him into a star football player.

The retarded potato will be played by a cabbage.

You can peel a retarded potato and they can’t tell on you.

Retarded Potato Farmer tagline: “We’re all rooting for you!”

I like how Anna Faris is content to clean up all the ditzy blond roles. I also like her boobs.

You know that this movie is not only going to get made; it’s going to win an Oscar, and I’m not going to see a fucking penny from it.

Retarded potatoes think that “potato skins” is the team in gym class that always plays against “potato shirts”.

Retarded potato DJ’s are fond of mash ups.

If you suspect that your potato might be retarded, you have the option to terminate, but it’s best to do it in the first 12 weeks.

Jacktion: not only that, it’s going to be directed by Ron Howard.

How to make German potato salad:

Tell the retarded potato you’re going to give it a shower. Rinse it off and then throw it in the oven.

All country potatoes are retarded potatoes.

Jenny McCarthy knows the truth. Retarded potatoes are caused by the pesticides they use to make them healthy.