11.12.09 TIM BURTON’S ALICE IN WONDERLAND POSTER 2
When I posted the first poster for Alice in Wonderland, Tim Burton’s adaptation of Lewis Carroll’s book about how awesome it is to give drugs to young girls, I wondered aloud why the lead and Johnny Depp as the Mad Hatter weren’t in it. Guess they were just saving them for this one. Here’s Mia Wasikowska in trademark Burton pale tiptoeing through a magical garden or magic mushrooms and old people flowers. Cor bloimey, guv, moy rabbit ‘as got pink eye, ‘e does! Bot dat’s wot ‘e gets for sniffin’ me knickas, Oy s’pose.
[via Wired]
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TIM BURTON’S ALICE IN WONDERLAND POSTER 2
The little rabbit is there to remind you that it normally takes about 15 minutes for the acid to start setting in.
Old people roses rarely get thorny.
I’m late. I’m late. For a very important Rape.
Whoops. This isn’t the Rape Van post is it?
The Mighty Feklahr had often wondered what Lince would look like if he grew out his hair and put on a blue dress.
The old people roses perk up whenever the Mad Hatter says the phrase “See Alice”.
I think I can see Jesus in one of those giant flowers
You have to look at the full poster to see it and the stupid Burtonesque twisting tree branch kinda obstructs it, but that cloud looks like the Pillsbury Doughboy sporting a raging hard-on.
*Tim Burton refers to his “To-NOT-Do-List”*
1. Fire Danny Elfman…check.
2. Bench Peyton Manning on Fantasy Football…check.
Wait a minute, is that Axl Rose?
*tapes sign that says “EAT ME” on back, heads to the corner*
The rabbit shouldn’t have been late, I know he didn’t stop and smell those roses. They stink.
That white rabbit’s mom is a real bitch.
I guess that makes him a hare of the dog.
*continues drawing faces on his knuckles in the corner*
It took so long for this poster to come out because Burton insisted that it be printed on blotter paper.
White Rabbit: One pill makes you larger and one pill makes you small
Roman Polanski: Dammit just give me the fucking quaaludes
Other than being a strung out alchoholic who’ll drink whatever is put in front of her, Alice is heavy into S&M. She has an amateur DVD coming out called “Alice In Chains”.
BANNER PIC:
Alice loved to break wind in public.
My friends call me Alice, but I’ll take a dare.
That hatter truly is mad. His dining chairs do not match!
Tom Petty: Man, that looks cool, why didnt I ever think of that?
Dylan: You did. You did a whole video in the same style.
Petty: I did? Far out…
…
Petty: Man, that looks cool. Why didn’t I think of that?
Rabbit: “Yeeeeeeeeeaaaahh…….Flava-Flaaaaaaave!!”
Great…now I want cake.
I remember what the dormouse said. Which is why I got one of these.
I’m driving to this film in my Ford LSD.
What’s nice about the flowers with the faces in them is that when you sniff them, they’ll sniff back.
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