The headline says it all, folks. This is an actual publicity still from Old Dogs, and it is simply magical. I can only assume they’re going the Miracle Whip route and trying to outdo Faces of Old Dogs by making their own marketing so over-the-top ridiculous that parody is obsolete. But… that’s a lot of credit to give any group of people who thought this clip was an effective advertisement. You can actually see the boom mic guy’s reflection on the side of the car! This is either an elaborate piece of performance art or it was directed by the real-life three stooges.
[acesshowbiz via FilmSchoolRejects]
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You can actually see the boom mic guy’s reflection
BOOM MOTHERFUCKER!
Seriously, why is there no spinning bowtie in this movie?
Too cliche?
I don’t get it? So she slammed her Chyna sized click in the trunk?
Rita Wilson sees Old Dogs as the perfect preparation for her dream husband-and-wife project: Turner And Hooch 2.
After a private screening, Quentin Tarantino remarked, “Travolta’s on his own, man.”
Conversation in the five seconds leading up to that photo:
Wilson: “What am I doing here, my husband has two Oscars.”
Williams: “So what, I have one too.”
I’ve never understood why Rita Wilson isn’t a bigger star.
The only thing worse than seeing a boom mic guy in a reflection is seeing Ron Jeremy’s ass while your finishing.
I’ve never understood why Rita Wilson isn’t a bigger star.
That’s because Carnie Wilson has been hogging all the Wilson bigness she can get.
Wilson: So what’s my motivation here?
Director: Act like Tom just shoved it in your ass without lube.
Could someone explain to me why Seth Green is wearing mascara in all the clips I see of this movie?
Ron Jeremy has a donkey?
He down own me!
*snaps three times in a circle while moving head from side to side*
I make that same face when my fingers get stuck in my trunk.
It’s simple, boPa. He feels that it really makes his eyes ‘pop’.
Stiller’s Greenberg character saw the trailer for this and became really fucking depressed.
Not because of the “old dogs” thing, more the “really fucking depressing” thing.
I have an eye that poops.
This is about as funny as the scene in The World According to Garp where all the chicks with the cut out tongues are yelling at Garp… “Gaaaaahhhpp! Gaaaaahhhhhppp!” Wait, that was fucking hysterical, nevermind.
[lights fart, backflips off desk through open window]
You have the best exits. Both the backflip and the eye.
Robin Williams is like a real-life version of me.
I want to be the first to predict a run on these toys and that we won’t here anything from the Drunkettes for 3-5 days after they’ve been released.
[www.nypost.com]
* the one on the left of course
So, they tell me the length, but what is the girth?? Also, where do the batteries go?
I doubt it, erswi. Those toys are only 7 inches, and we all know Drunkettes demand better than that.
THIS IS AN *OFFICIAL PUBLICITY STILL*
You forgot the word BORN on the end of your title, Vince.
Thats what happens when old dudes be ghost-ridin’ the whip.
I also hate when I accidentally slam my self-respect and dignity in the trunk of my car.
See, the car is a metaphor for my career aspirations and life goals. The trunk is….fuck it, I’m Fandangoing this film.
D’ya think they’re too small and don’t use batteries for a reason? Because they suck perhaps?
Did you all run out to buy me that vampire dildo? Er, I mean, figurine? The one on the left, of course. I’ll take real good care of it. It’ll never leave the box. EVER.
HI LUCH!!!!!!!
Luch’s avatar is kind of gay.
Not like a dog who loves cupcakes. That’s manly.
This movie still hasn’t figured out that WebTV contraption you got it for xmas.
What is this!? They should only make movies for my specific demographic. On that note why are there still school kids? I finished that shit ages ago! Are they retarded?
Travis Coates needs… aw, fuck it.
What’s it like working for Goebbels?
I guess we can assume by his poor attempt to shame us that Film Nazi already reserved his tickets for this on Fandango.
Scaramouche! Will you do the Fandango?
I think Film Nazi is related to Trailer Trish and Rooster.
[makes "I am gonna Nazi this film" joke for the thirty seventh time.
Film Nazi is right guys! Waterheaded paint huffers need movies, too!
I’m guessing Film Nazi has three fingers. And is secretly gay. As long as there are no gays around.
“has three fingers. And is secretly gay”
E.T.?
Close, the one I’m thinking of has special powers given by an alien race as well.
Hey Film Nazi, did you ever get a suitable answer for why your parakeet won’t eat your diarrhea?
We had better be nice, last thing we need is VaLince getting another deformation suite.
*makes Polly doesn’t want a crapper comment for second time*
Cry HAVOC! And let shit the Old Dogs of yore!
I didn’t realize they had WiFI available to people camping out for tickets to New Moon.
Hey ilmNa, do us all a favor and leave the clever commentary to people who have figured out the “clever” part.
But as long as you’re here, could you give us your review of Couples Retreat?
I guess Rita likes to do it Old Doggy Style.
*gets hit in the nuts*
OW-FUCK!…AGAIN?!
Wilson: If all goes well, I might show Williams my O face.
I think we have found one of the 29 people who saw I Love You Beth Cooper.
It’s ok, Film Nazi. I understand that you’re probably a little on edge and tired of people bashing the Twilight movie that you love. But, you have to understand that we don’t like it because we’re not retards. That doesn’t make you any less of a person, it just makes you a retarded person. I know it’s easy at your age to call people who disagree with you about things either Nazis or fascists, but you’re completely destroying any semblance of meaning in those words anymore.
Just take comfort in knowing that any one of us would have you as a guest in our vans any day. Some of us might even let you leave alive.
this is actually a good movie – the one scene where William puts peanut butter on his dong and waves it front of Travolta proves that you can in fact teach an old dog a new trick!
Currently rating at 9% on Rotten Tomatoes.
Some choice quotes:
“…endlessly, excruciatingly un-funny non-comedy.”
“Racist, juvenile and nonsensical.”
“There’s something in the way that Old Dogs is brazenly, proudly lazy that makes it truly reprehensible.”
“[A] sorry mess, a mangy, flea-bitten comedy of Daddy Day Care caliber.”
“It is an irredeemable affair.”
“There are some experiences no one should be subjected to even in the name of science. It may be that forced viewing of this film has been outlawed by the Geneva Convention.”
“…a morass of cliche, crotch shots and utter disregard for both logic and the audience. Walt Disney and poor Bernie Mac must be turning over in their graves.”
Oh, man, this sounds AWESOME!
Actually, this scene originally appeared in 2012.
“When Disney says easy pay check, that’s when you run!”
“But my arm!!!”
L.A. collapses around them.
Seth Green gets hit in nuts by falling debris.
Record scratch.