11.10.09 THE ACTUAL MEN WHO ACTUALLY STARE AT GOATS

Most people know that Men Who Stare at Goats was based on a non-fiction book by Jon Ronson, and that some of the most preposterous parts of the movie were reportedly the most faithful to things that really happened.  Before it was a book or a movie, Men Who Stare at Goats was a Channel 4 documentary series, The Crazy Rulers of the World.  In the above clip from the show, you can see Ronson, who talks like Little Lord Fauntleroy, interview the guy who claims to actually have knocked a goat down with his mind from an adjacent room.  His superiors later bring in 30 numbered goats, and ask him to use his mind bullets again on a specific goat.  He fails, but only because he took down the goat next to the goat he was supposed to.

“There was this one picture that we have of like, St. Michael the ark angel, and he’s just got his sword in there like that.  I got that picture in my mind, and I kind of sent it over to where the goat was. I pictured that St. Michael got his sword and was going [stabbing sounds], through the goat, and attacking it down to the ground.  And after about 15 minutes, I said ‘Lenny, you better go see.’  And he said ‘Oh, it’s down.’”

This reminds me of when I was in 10th grade, and all through Study Hall I’d just stare at Tracy Mayling, trying to will her skirt to fly up and show me the sweet, sweet goodness she hid inside.  It never really worked, but once, just once, I accidentally sh-t my pants.

Here’s the scene with the shakra weapon “The Predator”, to compare with the same scene in the movie.  I can barely concentrate on it because all I’m thinking about is what an enormous pussy Jon Ronson is.

[Thanks to /Film for finding these]