The Academy recently released their shortlist of 15 feature documentaries which may compete for the Best Documentary Oscar in February, and out of 15 — FIFTEEN — Anvil! The Story of Anvil didn’t make it. I’m not going to pretend I saw every movie this year, but I saw a lot, and out of all the movies I saw — not just documentaries — Anvil is easily in the top three.
Out of the 15 they picked, one was Valentino: The Last Emperor, about the fashion designer, which got a 7.2 from IMDB voters and a 78% on Rottentomatoes — compared to Anvil‘s 8.2 and 98%. Another was… oh Christ, I’m not even going to go through the rest of these. Ninety-eight effing percent! I don’t know anyone who saw Anvil! who didn’t leave the theater raving about how awesome it was. How does that not get on the list?? And these aren’t even the nominations! It didn’t even get nominated to be nominated. Sadly, this isn’t the first or probably even the second or third time I’ve said this, but, THIS IS WHY THE OSCAR STATUE HAS NO BALLS. Please jump in a volcano, you filthy, ox-touching, baby effers. <3 Vince
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I kind of agree with them. I just don’t see Jim Neidhart as a good leading man.
He gets my Academy Award for Best Smile
I don’t see what your problem is Vince. I’m sure the Acadamy takes this responsibility very seriously and chose the best candidates based off their merits. Take it easy.
*rifles through pile of bribe checks to find Heisman Trophy ballot*
We should start taking up a collection now, Vince is gonna need a one-way ticket to L.A. when The Hurt Locker isn’t one of the ten films nominated for Best Picture.
The Fagademy is scared of Rockumentaries.
Rest assured, the Nickelback documentary is going to fare a lot better.
If Hurt Locker isn’t nominated I will… well, I’ll be very upset
Bah, The Mighty One can drop Lince off in LA on His way to Hawaii to jump in a volcano.
You know, the Academy probably just did Anvil a big favor. If they had been nominated and won, they probably would have been plucked from obscurity and thrust into the limelight. Lips would have developed stomach issues, got hooked on heroin and married a crazy bitch who would turn around and take a shotgun to him in his Seattle home.
I let my Lince collect in the dryer until someone else cleans the filter.
Maybe one of the influential Academy voters is Wile E Coyote. He’s very wary of all things Anvil.
Wait. I think I know what happened here. Wile E. Coyote is a member of the Academy.
NO FUCKING WAY!
I think we have to get married now.
Chino = top
Academy drops Anvil. Good way to crush toes.
I prefer the bottom.
/lazy
I WILL THROW A HISSY FIT THE LIKES OF WHICH YOU’VE NEVER SEEEEEEEN!!!!!!
*stubs toe on coffee table*
Wait, if an ESP post means you have to get married…[eyes keyHo]… I’ll be the catcher if you clean the bathrooms.
Chino: figures. Only bottoms use correct punctuation.?!$44
Crappy, deal. Just try to keep your hair out of the drain.
I doubt it’ll get a nom, unfo(u)rtunately. Which sucks cuz it was the best movie I’ve seen this year. If only they could have found a way to cram the holocoust, a retard, or teh gheys into it…
*takes out diary, writes*
Chino Bronze
Mrs. Chino Moreno-Bronze
Mrs. Charlie Bronze
**sigh**
Vince, it will be second only to the fits Fek throws when he doesn’t get any COTW nominations.
Also, Crappy, minor league hockey kicks ass.
But I like the way my splooge sticks to the hair and I have to poke at it with my toe so the kids don’t get my jizz between their toes. If you’re gonn asuck all the joy out of my life this.is.OVER!
Yes it does. 1/3 the cost, just as much action and screaming.
Geez, inky, He has been pretty chill about it the past month or so *sniffle*…
Oh, Lince, he has to hand it to ya, them pics of Carrie Prejean you linked on Twitter were fucking righteous. Ol’ Fekky’s gonna get a fuckin’ Croissant Pocket to hate-bop for that snobby little cunt!
If there’s going to be dick-stepping, could you put these on?
*hands Chino a pair of these*: http://www.zappos.com/giuseppe-zanotti-i88067-wine?zlfid=111
You’re a size 10, right?
Those are awesome. Not in a 10, though. I’m a girl.
They’re on sale, too, you lucky
guygirl.Chino is a girl? That explains the lazy lay.
Oh, I don’t need to worry about sales anymore. I’m getting married.
Fek, I kid because
I’m a jackassI love.I think we found lieBr0′s fetish.
*stops cutting…sobs a little*
O RLY???
Maybe Chino can just paint her nails and take pictures of her feet for us…yah…what??? So we know what size to get!!!
Really noMo, me too!
Let’s go dress shopping together!
I think we found one of lieBr0’s fetishes.
/subtly altered for comedic effect
Awww, good to see you fays fagging it up like the good old days. Get a piss boot and a tumbleweed in here and we’ve got ourselves a sleepover.
I said I’m getting married, not coming out.
Wait, does this mean I should stop texting you pics of my junk?
NOOOOO
A fay is just like a gay only with more effing and less geeing.
A Tina Fay is a she-male impersonator.
Didn’t you learn anything from Soup, you two?
*shakes head*
Your Mothers and I are very disappointed with the both of you.
What is this geeing, I’m intrigued…
Ya, J, don’t fuck his whorex raw dog or you’ll get the black syph. The crabs are a given.
Not about getting re-married. I mean being married in the first place. Wait, I mean uh, getting a divorce, err, there’s the thing with the thing and then well, how’s the guacamole here, anyway?
{passes piss boot]
Don’t fret broheim, it’s Fri.fuckin.day!
Geeing is what The Beav did while sniffing June Cleaver’s stockings and thinking about Eddie Haskell pulling down his pants.
Wait a tick. Are you two marrying each other?
Since we haven’t done this in a while Crappy, whomever the Browns are playing, take the points. Surely I can’t fuck that pick up.
Damn, I missed the love-in.
It’s never too late for some Al. Get in here and start shaking.
Also, J, Don’t call me Shirley.
[crawls out of ventilation duct]
HEY! You guys know Jack Bauer is in there?
Dude, J, they are playing Detroit and are +3.5 See, you already fucked up.
Vance, isn’t it time you left the office for the day? Not that I’m complaining.
New Moon again.
N’upplesticks.
You know how the Academy picks those 15 movies? They take each submission, sit in a screening room, watch the first 10 minutes, then stop the movie. Then they ask everyone “Do you want to keep watching?” And if the consensus is no, then they take it out of consideration. It’s how “Roger and Me” didn’t make the list back in the day, and it’s definitely how “Anvil” got killed. THEY DON’T EVEN WATCH THE WHOLE MOVIE. True story.