11.25.09 PETE HAMMOND ACCIDENTALLY SAYS SOMETHING FUNNY
If you pay any attention to the world of film critics, and I hope to God you don’t, you’ve probably already heard of Pete Hammond, who’s sort of notorious for being a whore. Fittingly, he now works for the LA Times. His latest column, despite predicting an Oscar nomination for Sandra Bullock (…no comment), has a headline with perhaps easily the best thing he’s ever written. He calls The Blind Side a “Number two with a Bullock!”
Yes, a steamy, robust number two with a healthy loaf of Bullock pinched off in it. And a play on words, it works on so many levels! Finally, a Pete Hammond poster quote I can trust! And you better believe I used Comic Sans. Comic Sans and Pete Hammond’s writing were meant for each other.
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2010/02/BLINDSIDE-HAMMOND-PIG-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2010/01/AllAboutSteve-Bullock4-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2010/01/Avatar-Worthington-Naavi-150x150.jpg){kind=avatar}
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2009/12/Princess-Frog-150x150.jpg)
There are 14 comments about:
PETE HAMMOND ACCIDENTALLY SAYS SOMETHING FUNNY
Hellll-ooooo LEGS!
I can still remember with some sense of fondness the time back when I still though that fucking Sandra Bullock would be enjoyable. *
*It’s been a long time, I assure you.
Every comment I write is written in Underwear Sans.
You just know he wishes that little bastard would go to his own room so he could break him off some white woman.
I would say something about a broken clock being right twice a day, but I think in Hammond’s case it’s a broken calendar. Unfortunately, I don’t know what the fuck that means.
“Runs don’t walk to see The Blind Side!”
I’m trying really hard to not make a snarky comment about black football players and their ability to read.
I thought Comic Sans was that unfunny fat guy who did a terrible job trying to replace Chris Farley?
J, either give into your urges or make a quip about a big black guy spooning a little white guy. Throw in something about prison if it makes you feel better.
It could have been even funnier if he had mentioned that the kid ending up playing for Cleveland.
I had a Number 2 with a Bullock once. Jim J. gives a great blumpkin.
Guy’cha! That little kid is trying to look up her dress!
So am I!2 boys, 1 Bullock
Man 1: Excuse me for a sec, I gotta go take a Bullock.
Man 2: Don’t forget to wash your Sandra.
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