11.04.09 OSCAR HOSTS: STEVE MARTIN & ALEC BALDWIN
The Oscars hosts have been officially announced, and it will be Steve Martin, hosting his third Oscars, paired with Alec Baldwin in his first. It seems like an okay, if boring choice. Until you read this:
The pairing of Mr. Baldwin and Mr. Martin comes with a self-referential twist: The two are cast as rivals for the affection of a character played by Meryl Streep in a romantic comedy, “It’s Complicated,” which is directed by Nancy Meyers and is set for release by Universal Pictures on Christmas Day. [NYTimes]
Oof. I hope we aren’t choosing hosts by who has a movie to promote now. But I’ll save the conspiracy theories for when we talk about how the CIA wanted to assassinate Kennedy with an AIDS monkey. Truth is, these hosts are sorta meh, just like the Oscars itself is sorta meh. I was excited back when Dave Letterman was set to host, just like I was excited when Chris Rock and Jon Stewart were set to host. But what happened? Not a lot. It’s an impossible gig because you’re trying to make jokes about people on the night when they’re taking something that’s supposed to be fun super seriously. The closest they ever got to spontaneity was when Chris Rock made a Jude Law joke and Sean Penn ran onstage to complain that he didn’t get to be on the committee that decided whether it was okay to tell a joke or not. Bottom line, short of getting Tracy Morgan to host and letting him ad-lib stories from his childhood to introduce categories (seriously, make this phone call now), nothing all that interesting is going to happen.
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There are 21 comments about:
OSCAR HOSTS: STEVE MARTIN & ALEC BALDWIN
Am I the only one just now finding the “Next Post” and “Previous Post” buttons or are they relatively new? Either way, bravo. Me likey.
Baby Goose could host. “Hey, girl, I’m so proud of you right now. Your sound editing makes me want to be a better man.”
I think Channing Tatum and Cam Gigandet should host and determine winners by who can do the most push-ups.
The Justice Department is just glad that they don’t have to waste a phone call to the Academy this year to ask if they’d be interested in inviting Roman Polanski to host.
[Tatum and Gigandet, in perfect unison]
“And, like, the winner is…uhh…some dude…for, like, some movie that’s not about mma. Or something.”
“Uhh, David Carradine would like to be here, but…uhh…he’s like, a little tied up at the moment, or something. But seriously folks.”
Perfect. Martin will be able to burst into “King Tut” to distract the audience from Baldwin berating Dakota Fanning for every category.
“This is not your mother’s Oscar ceremony… more like your great aunt’s, actually…”
Guaranteed joke fodder.
Baldwin: Hey, remember when I was funny on SNL?
Martin: Yeah, that was great. Remember when I was funny on SNL?
Baldwin: Not really.
Sorry, still coming to terms with those PSAs…
Baby Goose would hand out puppies instead of statues.
When Baby Goose hosts the Oscars everybody wins because, come on now, it’s totally not cool to call those other people losers.
I saw a preview for that movie they’re doing together, and good lord, that thing looks terrible. What happened to you, Navin R. Johnson?
As long as the critics are still backstage fluffing, I don’t think the actors are going to care.
Instead of Steve Martin and Alec Baldwin, I think Stephen Baldwin would be better.
Maybe next year they can get Chevy Chase and Randy Quaid!
“Snot, roll over and let Uncle Clark scratch yer belly!”
“Yeah, Randy…that’s actually Natalie Portman…”
“Hot dog, Clark, I bet she likes peanut butter!”
Call me a cynic but I don’t hold out much hope for a romcom named after a Facebook relationship status.
Steve Martin doesn’t need a co-host. All he needs is this ashtray. The ashtray and the remote control and the paddle game…
When reached for comment, Alec’s daughter had this to say: “OINK OINK”
new up
I am really disappointed that I couldn’t think of a good “Shithead” joke for this.
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