11.18.09 NICHOLAS SPARKS, MILEY CYRUS, GREG KINNEAR…

The last time I had to spend the summer with my estranged Father is when I went to prison in April of ‘05.

When I saw the title THE LAST SONG, the still of Hannah Montana -I was sure she had died and this was her THIS IS IT. Fuck you world, for toying with my emotions.

Miley is totally comfortable in trailers.

So it’s like if they told ‘The Wrestler’ from the less interesting perspective?

I really hope Joel McHale is paying close attention to Greg Kinnear’s career.

Now, if this was how the Red Dawn remake starts then BOOM! – hordes of Chinese commandos raining fire on these cunts – we’d have ourselves a movie.

I was hoping that “were all killed in a freak daisy chain accident, film at 11″ was going to be the rest of the headline.

Apparently John Henson wasn’t, Burnsy.

[starts to make pianist/penis joke, decides to go to lunch instead.]

My father has an estranged pianist, too.

Judging by that picture, Miley looks like she could use some Correctol.

Aw, fuck.

Megan’s Law says that I have to introduce myself to everyone before I can enter this thread.

At least concert pianists get to fuck the ugly groupies of whatever band they’re in. That’s better than classic pianists. They go home to their cats.

It took several calls to CPS to get me estranged from my father’s pianist.

Miley thinks that “estrange” is the Mexican word for weird.

I plan on going to this and showing everybody what an accomplished skin flautist I am.

Burnsy and Pauly will be accompanying me as the two-man rusty trombone section.

I tried to follow in my estranged concert pianist father’s footsteps, but didn’t quite succeed. He did tell me that I’m pretty good on the organ, though.

I’m pretty sure Nicholas Sparks loads his printer tray with Kotex and hundred dollar bills.