In just one of his sorcery-related projects this year, Nic Cage reteams with Gone in 60 Seconds director Dominic Sena, fresh off the critically-acclaimed thriller Whiteout (6% on RottenTomatoes, one of the few positive reviews called it “A tolerably entertaining film starring the weather”), in Season of the Witch. I’d love to tell you the plot, but unfortunately none of the shots in the trailer last more than half a second. I think it’s about a Marilyn Manson song or something.

Nicolas Cage stars as a 14th century Crusader who returns with his comrade (Ron Perlman) to a homeland devastated by the Black Plague. A beleaguered church, deeming sorcery the culprit of the plague, commands the two knights to transport an accused witch (Claire Foy) to a remote abbey, where monks will perform a ritual in hopes of ending the pestilence. [Wiki]

And that ritual was called “basic sanitation.”  I see Cage and Perlman will be employing the same accent Richard Gere used in First Knight.  “Hey, like, I’m Sir Nic of Santa Monica.  What’s up with your witches and stuff.”