(It was all a Three’s Company-esque misunderstanding.)

Powered by adolescent fantasy and whipped cream straight from the dispenser, Twilight Saga: New Moon had one of the biggest, fattest opening weekends of all time.

  • Fattest opening day: $72.7 million
  • Heaviest total from midnight showings: $26.3 million
  • Most obese opening weekend of 2009: $140.7 million
  • Third-most porcine opening weekend of all time behind The Dark Knight ($158.411 million) and Spider-Man 2 ($151.116)

*puts down thesaurus, whistles innocently*
No doubt benefiting from a “Twilight bump”, number two The Blind Side made $34.5 million, because as everyone knows, if the sparkly vegetarian vampires are sold out, the next best thing is Sandra Bullock teaching a black kid to pass block. Blind Side‘s opening would’ve been good enough for number one on most weekends, and actually set the record for “highest-grossing sports drama opening” of all time.  Tough luck, Coach Carter, we’re going to have to forget you ever existed again.

FilmWeekendPer ScreenTotal
1The Twilight Saga: New Moon$140,700,000$34,965$140,700,000
2The Blind Side$34,510,000$11,096$34,510,000
32012$26,500,000 (-59.4%)$7,776$108,221,000
4Planet 51$12,600,000$4,152$12,600,000
5A Christmas Carol$12,230,000 (-45.2%)$3,418$79,791,000
6Precious$11,008,000 (+87.4%)$17,501$21,403,000
7The Men Who Stare at Goats$2,773,000 (-52.7%)$1,349$27,624,000
8Couples Retreat$1,952,000 (-53.1%)$1,140$105,001,000
9The Fourth Kind$1,730,000 (-62.4%)$1,050$23,343,000
10Law Abiding Citizen$1,615,000 (-57.5%)$1,217$70,027,000

[via CHUD, BoxOfficeMojo]