Second perhaps only to that New Mexico soccer player video I’ve pleasured myself to so many times, my favorite sports-related story of the year was the rumor that A-Rod has a painting of himself as a centaur hanging over his bed. Which, for the record, would be awesome. Naturally, when MTV interviewed Rodriguez’ girlfriend Kate Hudson, they decided to ask her about it, because there’s really else nothing interesting about her. This was the exchange:
HUDSON: That is the craziest thing anyone has ever asked me.
MTV GUY: You’re not answering the question.
HUDSON: I would never indulge in something so ridiculous.
MTV GUY: This was in a reputable magazine. …Us Weekly. (laughs) [Ed. Note: This is him giving you an out, dummy.]
HUDSON: That’s… No. I don’t “indulge” in those types of stories. As humorous as you might think they are.
Oh you don’t? That’s so noble of you. Keep taking the high road there, chick-who-co-stars-with-Dane-Cook-and-makes-movies-about-treasure. If you want to defuse rumors, a simple “no” and a giggle would suffice. As for what you just said, I’m translating it as, “Of course the rumors are true, and did you know I’m a humorless bitch?”







I’m going to take that to mean that she stares at the painting while ramming A-Rod up the ass with a dildo he affectionately refers to as “Jeter” because it’s just made to wear #2.
What she is actually dodging is the fact that the painting is not *A-Rod* as a centaur…but Commissioner Bud Selig…as a minotaur!!!
The Mighty Feklahr is sure Hudson is getting tired of looking at that Darth Vader black light poster He has in His basement next to the radiator.
Her negative boob irritates me. Get some implants bitch, even if you just upgrade to an ‘A’ cup. Miley Cyrus had you out boobed when she was 11.
HUDSON: I would never indulge in something so ridiculous.
Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I would like to present people’s exhibit A, otherwise known as Kate Hudson’s IMDB page.
I like how the MTV guy slipped a “I love him as a centaur” in there. Hudson probably didn’t want to answer as long as there were gay people around.
Kate Hudson has a mirror above her bed that depicts a flat-chested hack enjoying the benefits of Botox and nepotism.
A-Rod is only dating her because he thinks she can get him closer to that dreamboat, Hudson Hawk.
@keyHo: re: your Jeter comment: you forgot to mention the montage of John Sterling yelling “It is high! It is far! It is gone!” looping in the background.
what the hell andy rodick is doing? first mandy moore, then madonna, now this? screw you
I like to imagine a naked from the waist down Kurt Loder slapping her with his penis. Not exactly sure why that is.
inky Pee, I love you in a way that A-Rod considers “not going far enough”.
Every once in a while, A-Rod likes to put on some old timey music and play the washboard on her ribs while beating his dick around her giant stupid mouth like it’s a triangle.
A-Rod desperately demands that his doubles be called “Two-Baggers.”
I would never indulge in something so ridiculous…
Hudson then mumbled under her breath, “Centaurs don’t have wings, dickhead.”
I would never indulge in something so ridiculous.
And I shall not dignify that response with a dismissive wank. Good day, Madame. I SAID GOOD DAY!!
Aron Ralston, on the other hand, is extremely humerus.
Coincidentally Mark Texeira also has a picture of a shirtless A-Rod as a centaur hanging above his bed
Except in Texeira’s version the lower half is human
Dammit Shop beat me to it already
The poster montage proves she’s not familiar with the concept of an out.