11.06.09 ISLA FISHER NEEDS TO GET IT TOGETHER
Oh, Isla Fisher. I’ve loved that spunky little firecrotch ever since I saw Wedding Crashers, and the crazy thing is, she can actually act. She’s married to Sacha Baron Cohen and it seems like she’s a big enough star to find decent projects, but her last movie was Confessions of a Shopaholic with Jerry Bruckheimer. But she’s got a new one on the way. From THR:
Universal Pictures has picked up “Desperados,” a comedy spec from Ellen Rapoport that will act as a potential starring vehicle for Isla Fisher.
The story is set in motion when a woman sends an indignant e-mail to her new beau, who’s gone silent after they have sex. When she discovers he’s comatose in a Mexican hospital, she races south of the border with her friends in tow to intercept the e-mail before he recovers. The project has been described as a female-oriented “Hangover.”
I don’t get it, do people who write about movies actually ever see movies? That doesn’t sound anything like The Hangover. But it sounds exactly like Road Trip, where Breckin Meyer has to get the sex tape he made with Amy Smart that he accidentally sent his girlfriend, and who hasn’t been there? Remember that? I feel like maybe part of the problem with Hollywood is that the trades are written for an audience that doesn’t remember anything before six months ago. I also don’t have high hopes for projects that can be boiled down to five words or less (Road Trip with chicks!) unless those five words are “Megan Fox ass to ass.” Also, how do you intercept an email? Do you have to go inside the internet like Tron? Maybe this will be good after all.
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2009/01/islafisher2-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2008/10/confessions-shopaholic-150x150.jpg)
There are 70 comments about:
ISLA FISHER NEEDS TO GET IT TOGETHER
I’d like to see a movie where Isla Fisher is cheating on her boyfriend with three other guys. The twist is that her boyfriend IS the other three guys!
The story of how the boyfriend winds up comatose in a Mexican hospital sounds like a good movie, though.
He had sex with her AND ends up comatose in a Mexican hospital? He got fucked twice.
Actually, I kind of like this idea of telling interesting stories from the point of view of someone who doesn’t know the interesting story. We could do Back to the Future from the point of view of one of the guys in the band, or Jaws from the point of view of someone in Nebraska.
I’m guessing the boyfriend probably took a seat on Danny Trejo.
My beaus always go silent after sex because their mouths are full of sammiches.
I know! Let’s do Dracula from the point of view of a Mormon!
Oh wait… they already did that, didn’t they?
Let’s do Working 9 to 5 from the point of view of a black guy!
Everyone that I have sex with can’t stop telling everyone about how we had sex. They tell their parents, the police, the press…
Let’s do Fern Gully from the point of view of a pretentious douchebag.
And then you have to tell everyone in your neighborhood?
Chino, I think that would work better with The Kentucky Fried Movie.
Everyone I have sex with has to get a penicillin shot.
Or Popeye?
Let’s do Philadelphia from the point of view of John Rocker.
BOOSH!
That BOOSH! was meant for the Popeye joke.
Everyone I have sex with winds up asking Magic Johnson what his secret is.
Interesting stories from the point of view of someone who doesn’t know the interesting story = every Gary Busey film ever made.
Everyone I have sex with gets stitches. (vagina dentata)
Everyone I have sex with is now okay to have unprotected sex with Paris Hilton.
Everyone I have sex with gets abortions. (potent sperm)
Everyone I have sex with is afraid to go south of the border.
I know, Jack! Thanks for splitting the cost with me. You, sir, are a gentleman.
In all seriousness, everyone I’ve had sex with has had an abortion.
It’s not teeth Chino. It’s Polio!
There you are! I almost said that…
Everyone I’ve ever had sex with looks like the terminal prehensile part of my right arm.
Everyone I’ve ever had sex with has a manufacturing date stamped on it somewhere.
Everyone I’ve ever had sex with knows what it’s like to point and laugh at a dick.
Everyone I’ve ever had sex with will never get that drunk again.
[sprays on some more commenter repellent]
Everyone I’ve ever had sex with wanted to see the money first.
Everyone I’ve ever had sex with had better keep our little secret.
Female oriented hangovers? Geisha girls nippin’ the sake?
Sorry, I just spent the last 3 hours auditing 30 pages of corporate credit card transactions…I’M FINE!
Everyone I’ve ever had sex with dosen’t know what those bumpy things down there are but wants them removed.
Also, why is it always up to me to say “What a horsehit-lookin’ movie this forshak is!”? You can tell just by looking at the girl in the banner pic that this will suck ass.
What I mean is, I wanna suck her ass.
Everyone He has ever had sex with has needed extensive psychological counseling. (True story!)
Everyone I’ve had sex with went teh ghey.
Everyone I’ve had sex with lately is typing this right now.
Everyone I’ve ever had sex with is married to my mom.
Everyone I’ve ever had sex with has wondered, shampoo or shave, to get rid of the crabs.
Everyone I’ve ever had sex with has a tattoo that says “STRANGER”.
Hollaback.
HOLLA!
Everyone I’ve ever had sex with has a wind blown hairdo.
Power queef, yo!
Everyone I’ve ever had sex with is my sister.
Everyone I’ve ever had sex with is wondering why the fuck I still look like Ace even though Halloween is over. Ask Uproxx.
Everyone I’ve ever had sex with said “no” prior to.
OK, but I’m not seeing Ace. I’m seeing Chino in the tubey sox.
Everyone I’ve ever had sex with has seen a click.
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